The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

toniq

Jiblets,
Im with u on the mood changes, i'm sure it's down to all the synthetic hormones we use in treatments,
I've def lost my spark with this whole shebang, i keep busy but feel obsessed all the time, i also get very sick of hearing it will happen when i least expect it and if we stop trying it will happen?!?!?!

It is def an emotional rollercoaster, my counsellor said in her opening chat that ivf can make or break a relationship because of the intensity.

However much i prepare myself the bfn destroys me and loses another chip in my faith in life.

I've helped so many women through ivf's, quite a few on mse, and seeing them all get their bfps gives me hope.

The book i used was the dummies guide to infertility and the she knows usa forum as the brit boards often are monitored by our hospitals which makes me uneasy, she knows forums gave me an insight into advancements and stuff i couldnt find in the uk.

I plan a list every new year of tasks for the year ahead, things like saving for hols, decorating, buying new washer, getting flowerbeds sorted etc and use that checklist to get me through my year and have ivf/fet slot in when i feel ready, without my list i would only think ivf ivf ivf ivf ivf 24/7.

Also comping keeps me sane, gives me a hobby and a distraction.
In this house baby shows get turned off......xxxxx

ahh well im fortunate that we have been in a position to throw the thousands we have at it, many couldn't have afforded it. I still wonder what we would have done with all the cash we have spent around 30k.........xxxx

toniq

QQuaver wrote: »

Another thing, does OH have to go too?

Would they be able to check me out first, then go on to OH so to speak, as OH doesn't know about this:o
We are married, both wants kids and are actively ttc, but I don't want to pressure him into IVF...

Steps we took, we both went together:

Went to gp after 1 year of trying, they said wait 6 more months.
Went back to gp 6 months later got referred to hospital who done basic blood work and semen analysis.
Got results mine seemed fine , his count wasn't great and the swimmers werent too strong, told bluntly only chance is ivf.
Went back to gp who didn't see results as a major issue??!?!!??!
Sought private help as we werent gonna be entitled to any more help on nhs.
We scoured for a month looking at clinics results figure, reviews decided on guys.
Met consultant in Guys and St thomas, saw director of unit as we figured if we r paying out we might as well pay a few hundred extra for the best person there.
Had more tests, said same as local hospital.
had tubal scan with dye, all clear
Tried no injectible iui
tried injectible iui
tried ivf + icsi
Ivf + ics
Had exploratory op to make sure no lumps or bumps and see if reason why impalnt fails.
now up to the 6/7 frozen embabies, deciding when im gonna roll the hand of fate

In between i continuously research advancments in the usa and other countries and keep uptodate with acupuncture and try the chinese herbal route etc.
Iui cost us approx £750/£1000
Eah chat/visit with consultant £250 ( i've seen them over 15 times)
Each ivf and icsi £5,000 inc drugs
alot of the test we have had have been anywhere from £75 for semen analysis to £1,200 for ops.
Frozen embabies storage charge is £500 a year

It is a very expensive game and we paln and save so we can afford this, every place has a different price structure.
The drugs alone on my last ivf were near on £800.
We live 30 miles from London, and take a direct train from here to london bridge as thats where guys is, it is only a 2 min walk from train station, most of my appts are daytie so we end up paying near on £50 in train fares.
Though going private gives us total choice on appts, i've had ops on bank holidays and procedures on sundays.

Hope hat gives u a rough idea of what i have found the costs involved, sorry if it is overwhelming.

xxxxxxxxxxx



wow! r u still awake when u reach the bottom of this post!!! xxxxxx

alamaya

Know what you mean about that guy on One Born every minute. With the glove an all i would of removed his right to have further children lol

I really felt for the girl with the c-section. I felt like i was having to go through it.

xx

ps. weight loss still sucks and i want to cry lol

MadMac_2

Ginczt, best of luck for tomorrow - looking forward to reading news as and when. Will be thinking of you, xx

Jiblets, to say we have changed through this (in)fertility phase of our lives is an understatement! I have no doubt it contributed to OH's diagnosed depression and priorities (both in terms of lifestyle and money) have changed completely. It is so sad to go through so much and see the years slip by and still be no further forward. I try to take my own advice to 'hang in there' but it isn't always that easy, is it... xx

Toniq - how much?! OMG, that is a frightening thought, x

For those of you struggling to lose the weight, I really feel for you. This BMI system annoys me no end and I have been told at one appointment I was overweight, then 3 months later I was underweight! Swimming does the trick for me when I manage to get out there, otherwise I'm now used to eating small portions. Aren't we allowed to enjoy anything at the moment?! Grrrr.

Refusing to watch that programme, I don't need more tears today, thank you, I've shed enough already!

Emmzy, oooh. Getting near now... Exciting!

QQuaver

nichart20 wrote: »

Quaver I went to doctors by myself first as just mentioned it while I needed to discuss something else I had a blood test. I think my husbands sample was not taken until we were referred to fertility specialist. I think they usually dont refere you until you have been trying 12 months though

I'd be 12 months in no time.

toniq wrote: »

Steps we took, we both went together:

Thank you toniq, have copied your post to keep:)
I kind of assumed most problems are on the female side, but I see in your case it was different.

ginvzt

We went together to GP. Then, as his results were fine, there was nothing else they could do for him. So, I got referred further. The rest I went on my own. He did express interest to come with me for scans, but then he would need to take holiday at work for that, so I just told him to go to work (and that is what he is doing today).

Will update you on how it goes today when I am back from hospital. I am leaving in next 10-20 minutes...

toniq

QQuaver wrote: »

I'd be 12 months in no time.

Thank you toniq, have copied your post to keep:)
I kind of assumed most problems are on the female side, but I see in your case it was different.

Sorry i didn't explain full history as i'd be using 5 posts! The issues now are on my side, ivf +icsi take away his issues, i just can't get to implantation, i need them too stick, they just wont , hence it's so distressing.

I'm in this position because i had cancer that was caught early on many years ago, after mild treatment i was told my fertility shouldn't be affected..............seems the case is different.

I have a son from a previous relationship, so i realise how fortunate i am, i suffered the C within a year of his birth and have been been trying to concieve with my oh for approx 6 years.

I have also had pregnancies before ivf's, i had several miscarriages and then my most devastating stage i had still birth twins( angel babies) i had just gone 5 months. That was 3 and a half years ago, since then my body just wont kick into pregnancy mode, seems it has shut down to it all.

Unexplained infertility they call, when they have no clue what is wrong and why, hence we do ivf/icsi so we have stronger embryos for a better chance if they ever stick at a healthy pregnnacy.

Gin good luck today xxx

lisawood78

Toniq, it seems we have similar issues. We too have spent over £30k on this, although all the issues are on my side not Hubbys.
I have one blocked, twisted tube (needs removing but can't face it atm), adhesions, low Protein C and MTHFR as mentiond earlier, all of which makes natural conception all but impossible.
Now the MTHFR has been discovered hopefullly the Clexane injections will encourage the implantation part to actually work, the embryos we get each time are fine and good quality but they simply will not stay put, my body seems to reject them each time, I have never reached test day before AF shows her ugly face.
Made our day 21 planning appointment for our Natural FET, March 2nd where we get a scan, our instructions and the concoction of drugs I have to take even though it's a natural cycle. Am on extra high doseage Folic acid, and progesterone injections plus Clexane injections, which joy of joys go in your bum, which will be interesting as i have severe belenophobia and husband works in another country.
Onwards and upwards?
Have a great day ladies x

QQuaver

lisawood78 wrote: »

husband works in another country.

I got that! It makes regular DTD rather difficult... Perhaps I should just quit my job, and live with him.

On the Dec cycle, we dtd 7 days before ov - no good. This time it was 2 - 3 days before ov. Probably no good, as I got BFN today at 12 dpo:(
I'll see him next in April.

I had mc too, at 10 weeks in Aug, and neither of us have kids.

ginvzt

Well, I am back. And I got a needle to my bum...

So, the scan was ok, the nurse doing scan wasn't very talkative, and just said that I have a cyst and the rest seem ok. Was a bit annoyed that she didn't say anything about follicles or lining, just OK. so, was sent to the clinic. The cyst is the same one I had drained last July, and it is at 3.5 cm diameter. However, they are not worried about it and will just keep an eye on it for now. We are good to proceed with the treatment.

The second nurse was much nicer and explained everything clearly. So, I have one follicle at 19mm, which is good to go, and two smaller ones at 16mm, which might grow and release an egg, or might just shrink back. The lining was at 9mm, which she told me is good (anything above 8). So, I got the injection and we are to bd every day for 3 days and then at least twice a week until AF shows up. (Or not... fingers crossed). If AF doesn't show up, wait till day 37 to test, as the HCG shot might give wrong results. If we are lucky and this works, the clinic will be organising an early scan at about week 6-7 to check on things.

So, fingers crossed!!!!!!!!!