The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

time2deal

Dom, Angel, and OWIU - can you do me a quick summary in the format like in this post:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.php?p=62667276&postcount=11421

and then I can add you in.

Anyone else have any news or changes they want to make? Lucy - when does your IVF cycle start?

vodkashot

Just wanted an opinion from all you lovely people.

TTC for 2 years + and finding it all a bit much. My best friend is having a baby shower next month which someone else is organising. Guess it should have been me to do that but I couldn't face it. Anyhow would it be really awful if I didn't attend the shower? I can't even tell my friend in advance why I don't want to go if if I could explain it as it's a surprise shower.

The thought of it makes me want to cry even now but she's my best friend and isn't being a best friend being there? I don't really know what to do.

mokba43

Its happened to me a couple of times, ive been TTC for 3 years so have seen many showers in my time.
To acquaintances i always say i will attend and on the day i fall ill. Ill call, send a card/present. Closer friends know what is going on and they are very very understanding....
It depends how you feel, could you face it? I know i couldnt, so would probably stay away and ring her that night to ask how it was, apologise and send her my love.
Send something lovely her way; she will be so wrapped up in her joy that she wont mind!


xxx

tea_lover

Personally I'd give it a miss. I know I'd be upset & I'd probably end up saying something I shouldn't or getting told off for having a face on. You can explain to her afterwards.

Fwiw, I'm fine once the babies are here. Well, not fine, insanely jealous but I can cope with that once there's a baby to play with. It's the pg thing that really gets me, it just seems like a massive kick in the non-functioning uterus.

good_vibes

Hi all,
welcome to the ladies who have joined us here, but still hope you not here for long *waves*
I seem better when the babies of friends ad family are born. Have missed baby showers thou too much for me.
On the nuts and seeds thing, I have no hope. It the only things my OH can't stand!!!.
Have spoken to him about it a while ago and the studies around it.

vseviour

I'd give it a miss too, I wouldn't want to put a dampner on things, I like the 'call in sick idea', and if she's your best friend she would probably understand in the long term?

Tea, I'm the same, my little sis had a boy on Sunday, and I'm nothing but happy for her, yet seeing bumps everywhere makes me want to scream. Probably helps though that I'm not physically near her. are you feeling any better?

OWIU, that's about the same time here then, and we get one go too. We were referred Jan 12 and saw FS in Sept 12, then 6 months of Clomid (about 8 months with my long cycles). Our SA results were quicker, does your doctor not have a copy?
I'm moving to Maghera, but my doctors here have been great, and I wasn't sure if I'd need doctors to refer me again, so we stayed. Really looking forward to the move, even if ICSI doesn't work, so we can start looking at fostering/adoption, and settling into our new home.

Angel, just seen you're in Wiltshire, that's my home county, we've done a location swap! My hubby is just on Wellman conception, and some weird chinese things he thinks will help!

Hugs to all x

angeltreats

time2deal wrote: »

Dom, Angel, and OWIU - can you do me a quick summary in the format like in this post:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.php?p=62667276&postcount=11421

and then I can add you in.

Anyone else have any news or changes they want to make? Lucy - when does your IVF cycle start?

angeltreats TTC#1 since 08/12, NTNP for at least a year before that. 33 OH 33. Investigation so far: Scan & 21 day bloods for me, all ok. OH has low sperm count & low motility. Next step: waiting to see GP hopefully for FS referral.

Thanks lovely x

angeltreats

vseviour wrote: »

I'd give it a miss too, I wouldn't want to put a dampner on things, I like the 'call in sick idea', and if she's your best friend she would probably understand in the long term?

Tea, I'm the same, my little sis had a boy on Sunday, and I'm nothing but happy for her, yet seeing bumps everywhere makes me want to scream. Probably helps though that I'm not physically near her. are you feeling any better?

OWIU, that's about the same time here then, and we get one go too. We were referred Jan 12 and saw FS in Sept 12, then 6 months of Clomid (about 8 months with my long cycles). Our SA results were quicker, does your doctor not have a copy?
I'm moving to Maghera, but my doctors here have been great, and I wasn't sure if I'd need doctors to refer me again, so we stayed. Really looking forward to the move, even if ICSI doesn't work, so we can start looking at fostering/adoption, and settling into our new home.

Angel, just seen you're in Wiltshire, that's my home county, we've done a location swap! My hubby is just on Wellman conception, and some weird chinese things he thinks will help!

Hugs to all x

Sending you a PM

Whattodonow

Vodka, last time I went to a baby shower I promised myself it would be the last one. You just know it will be hours of baby talk. Don't put yourself through it. TTC is stressful enough, some self-preservation is needed x

Whattodonow

Also, does you bf know you are TTC? If not, you could always explain after the shower why you couldn't attend. I've started telling people now were going into IVF and feel a massive sense of relief at not having to lie about things anymore. And it certainly reveals who your good friends are!

Also, I get really annoyed that infertility is a taboo subject. If people talked about it more, maybe we wouldn't feel so alone and unsupported. I understand why people want privacy. But for me our infertility is nothing to be ashamed of and if I'm so very very lucky that I get preggers with IVF ill be telling all and sundry about it, in the hope that anyone going through the same feel they can talk to me about it.... Sorry little rant there, not personally aimed at you vodka! Xx