oi what you doing here

elantan

hey no worries... men eh ...6 mins i think i may have been dreaming lol ...deff next time ...

lynzpower

it is an interesting debate and what is good for one family isnt necesarily going to be good for another ...a balance had to be struck and it is one i am keen to do as truthfully i dont want my son living in my house i dont think as a family it is good for us ...since our son moved out two years ago we have got on incredibly well but while he lived with us it was a nightmare ...it has already started to turn into one and i for one am not going though it all again ...so ultimately our son has to move ...he needs to find a place of his own ...he has seen a flat in the street that we had our first ever house in and where he lived for 10 years so he might like that ...but he needs a deposit which could be £700 or more ...so hubby and i might have to take a loan out in our name and he might need to pay us back ...yes i cant afford it i trully cant but i cant have my family destroyed again ...it took us quite a while to sort it out after last time ...

Hold your horses!! Are you shocked how quickly youve thought debt would be the solution to this problem- and debt in your name too!!

Why cant son get debt of his own?
Why cant he go to the council or other organisation to see if they will help with a rent deposit scheme?
Is he effectively homeless? If so, did you know that if someone is homeless ( adn they mean, bags on the street homeless) then HB/ LHA will pay for the rent and sometimes the bond. Some LLS dont ask for deposits any more with the TDS, some think its too mcu hassle.
Is your son working, whats he doing to find his deposit money.

He needs to trake some responsibility here, and this is the -perfect opportunity for him to learn, with your emotional support of course.

elantan

we were at the council today lynz the only thing they offered was to put him up in a hostel in the middle of glasgow where all the junkies and alky's go ...they said as he doesnt have any dependants they dont have any responsibility other than to offer him there ... i phoned the letting place today and there was only one that will let to an 18 year old but they insist on 6 weeks rent in advance so it would depend on what place he got as to how much he had to find .... the rent money i would be charging him would be to pay for the deposit (well some of it anyway) and the rest he would be paying me back ...he cant get a loan just now as far as i know but if he can then he will get the loan not us ...i truthfully just dont want him here so if it means that i will need to take a loan to get rid of him and it gets paid back over a four month period then i am willing to do that .... it isnt what i want to do but if it is what i have to do then i will ...before i do however get it i will check out what other options he has ...can he get a loan for instance...can he get a grant or anything else ....


he has taken some of the responsibility so far (something i was a bit surprised at) he has been to the police twice and has been to see the council on his own and has phoned letting agents etc up .... he is at work just now but when he gets home we have more discussing to do ...he has to grow up of that he now has no choice and neither his grand parents nor my hubby and myself are willing to always bail him out ....but at the end of the day he cant stay in the village as his face is known now and targetted ...i also dont want them or others coming down here and starting here ...we live in the same village...and he cant afford to move ...

lynzpower

try this:

http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/paying_for_a_home/tenancy_deposits/bond_schemes

Does he have to move now??

mizmir

Blimey El - you're going through it - sorry have been off line until yesterday. Not that I have any sage advice for you - just a virtual cuppa and a hug. Hope you find a solution quickly that will work for you and your son. All sounds horrendous for you both. Take care.

elantan

Cheers lynz will have a look at it we live in Scotland though but I am sure it wil be similar

taxi73

He can go to the place in Glasgow..and from there they can help him.There's druggies and alchys everywhere anyway.If you don't want him at yours then why can't he go there especially as he has to get out of the village.

elantan

lynzpower wrote: »

try this:

http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/paying_for_a_home/tenancy_deposits/bond_schemes

Does he have to move now??

he kinda does lynz we live in the same village that it happened in and i dont want the trouble moving down here ...

son has been to work and explained to his boss what has happened his boss helped him book some viewings etc ..they have two viewings tomorrow in the village he grew up in and he liked living there his friends are there etc as well .... i spoke to them about deposits etc theyare going to find the deposit between them son's friend's parens have some money and son's friend has money so hopefully they wont need me ...i sat him down when i picked him up and spoke to him explaining what i was thinking and worrying about he agrees with me and says he has been trying his best to deal with things ...i think it is going to take time and patience to deal with this

elantan

taxi73 wrote: »

He can go to the place in Glasgow..and from there they can help him.There's druggies and alchys everywhere anyway.If you don't want him at yours then why can't he go there especially as he has to get out of the village.

i know what you are saying taxi and you are right ...but our son isnt "street wise" never has been ...if anything hubby and i are to blame for that we wouldnt let him hang about the street corners...drink etc ...we always had him in clubs ( ju jit su, swimming, badminton, tennis, golf etc cost us a frtune) so that we could keep him away from the trouble... and much as my son would argue the point he is sheep and i have no doubt would blindly follow into drugs etc if he met in with the wrong crowd ...he is at uni and working and i truthfully want to keep him away from that type of lifestyle as much as possible... that may make me sound bad and i do accept it certainly doesnt make me sound good...but i do want the best for my child at the end of the day ...after all that is one of my roles as a parent

elantan

mizmir wrote: »

Blimey El - you're going through it - sorry have been off line until yesterday. Not that I have any sage advice for you - just a virtual cuppa and a hug. Hope you find a solution quickly that will work for you and your son. All sounds horrendous for you both. Take care.

a hug would be nice round about now lol