oi what you doing here

hypno06

taxi73 wrote: »

If it helps my daughter pays me £150 per calander month.She thinks that's very reasonable.

I should think she does! I used to pay more than that to my mum when I was 18 and newly employed! And that is more than 20 years ago!!!!!

My mum did this:

1. Take your salary/income.
2. Deduct the cost of getting to work (as this is an unavoidable essential, and without it you earn nothing) - so for me, I deducted my monthly railcard.....
3. Now divide the remainder into three.......
4. One third to Mum for my keep
5. One third to "savings" for house deposit/wedding etc
6. One third to me to spend on clothes/going out/holidays etc

That way, it didn't matter what I earned, compared to what my sister earned, because we both gave up the same proportion of our salary, ie one third, to Mum for housekeeping.

The_Dragon

El 8 years ago I was paying my parents £100 a week in rent (all in)

boredofbeingathome

I used to pay £25 a week, that was a while ago though and no food included in that as i used to work odd hours so ate at work and bought my own.And we had to pay our own 50p for the hot water-it was bedlam if some other !!!!less brother or sister would nick my hot water, i can tell you. Plus light bulbs and plugs- for some reason they would blow, so we had to keep replacing ( or siblings would swipe-they were good at that)

Sorry you have been going through that El, hope it works itself out.x

shaun40400

we used to pay on 20% show ,,,,my age now £25 a week take home
1) travel and lunch money £5
2) rent £5
3) savings £5
4) spending £5
5)savings / mums bonus £5

mums bonus,,,,,if i showed her the bank book and id lodged my £5 she used to lodge her £5 as well into my account.......however.........if i dident save and spent it on loose women,concerts,records eth ,,,,,,,then it became mums bonus money ( i never told her but on a 5week month,,,i deliberatly went and spent my savinmgs so she could have the extra cash)

taxi73

My DD does really well then....as she gets full board for £150...she very rarely eats anything.She has no bus fares as she works around the corner.She earns about £850 p/m I think.She also has another little job on top.
She buys all her own toiletries,prescriptions,clothes etc...She's kind hearted though as she treats me often to chocolates,slippers ,takeaways etc on top...I always feel guilty taking money off her when she's not eating but that's her choice not to eat...she also pays for her own mobile and anything else.

edinburgher

My mum did this:

Did you have any say in the matter, because it doesn't sound that way! In my experience, parents need to strike a balance between being fair to their kids and not having them take advantage and a two way process works better than just Mum laying down the law. I know they're still at home, etc. etc., but they need to be given the chance to grow into being a grownup!

My parents didn't quite strike this balance until very recently and it caused some real relationship problems between my elder brother and them

hypno06

It was a fair way of doing it, in my opinion, because it meant that it didn't matter what our "earning power" was, we each gave up the same proportion of our salary, so we were each contributing the same. The way my mum saw it was that we each worked the same, full time, but we might not earn the same, especially as my sister has a disability so her earning power was not as great as mine when we were first starting out (although she now earns as much as I do), so to do it on a percentage basis, rather than a £££ basis made it fair. Had she said "you pay me £200 but your sister only pays £100 because she doesn't earn as much as you", it might not have felt so fair, even if percentage wise it was the same! Or, if she had made us both pay £150, say, it would have been harder for one than the other because £150 would be a bigger proportion for one of us of our salary.

She certainly couldn't afford to let us live there for free or for next to nothing, so she had to come up with a workable and reasonable solution for all of us.

And of course she had more say in the matter than I did - she was my mother - we discussed it, but she had the upper hand.....the mortgage and the bills fell to her, and at 18, I didn't have that same experience in finances as she did. I don't remember saying "It's not fair" at any point then.....after all, I was still left with two thirds of my salary.

And the 1/3 that I was told to save for my house deposit etc soon did what it needed to do - I completed on my first house at 19 so it encouraged good habits early on!

elantan

it is an interesting debate and what is good for one family isnt necesarily going to be good for another ...a balance had to be struck and it is one i am keen to do as truthfully i dont want my son living in my house i dont think as a family it is good for us ...since our son moved out two years ago we have got on incredibly well but while he lived with us it was a nightmare ...it has already started to turn into one and i for one am not going though it all again ...so ultimately our son has to move ...he needs to find a place of his own ...he has seen a flat in the street that we had our first ever house in and where he lived for 10 years so he might like that ...but he needs a deposit which could be £700 or more ...so hubby and i might have to take a loan out in our name and he might need to pay us back ...yes i cant afford it i trully cant but i cant have my family destroyed again ...it took us quite a while to sort it out after last time ...

in the meantime (and i think it might be approx six weeks or so) i think i will charge son £40 a week roughly and he will have to buy his own food...with the money that i charge him (his friend if he so chooses to stay here will pay the same) i plan on saving it so that it will help him when he moves ...this will be after i have deducted an amount for electricity, diesel etc ...but i will not be telling son i am doing this ...i will be telling him he has to pay £40 a week (each) till they find a place to move to ....i am hopeful it wont be too long though ....

have phoned the insurance so the ball is rolling on that level

the person that owes me money for reiki work has informed her payroll dept and i should recieve it in sep

so i still have to do the fridge ...truth to tell i am exhausted and have no energy ...i still have to go pick son and friend up from work (yes i think that may be another duty i will have to do for son)

elantan

sorry all that ihavnt had time to visit anyone else's diary i will try and catch up this week

jinky67

You havent had time to do anything

and errrrr sorry about that:rolleyes:

6 mins eh? :rotfl:

next time