MSE Pregnancy Club XIV

fitzilian19

i'm heading over to mums now... will be logging on when i get there to show her the mail..

far as i know, citizens advice will offer no help, they wouldnt when i went to them back in march when he first left. csa will be no good... if he refuses to work (and he's already said he wouldnt work somewhere like mcdonalds even if he ever did go back) then they'll be asking for 15% of nothing...


i just feel like every time i do anything to sort my life out, get work lined up so i can stay in the house etc etc, he pushes me back beyond step one!

harley1

I'm so sorry he is being such a loser Fitz. I don't really know how to help you with the situation except to say that your mortgage company might give you a payment holiday to help out in the short term and I seem to remember something about benefits helping out with the interest on a mortgage (but it didn't apply to me so I don't really know any details).

I hope someone comes along soon with a bit more knowledge than me but I'm here to listen if you just need a friendly ear.

xxx

jha

How is the childminding set up going fitz is there any chance of scraping by even if you have to move somewhere else? Praying for you love and sincerley i know this is very stressful but at the end of the day you and alfie are together (where else would a bellyfrog be) and you have eachother and your mum which is a start love.

edit: dont forget the entitled to website might be worth a check now your circumstances have changed

SugarSpun

Fitz, is his name on the mortgage?

You should be able to manage a maternity break or reduction on the payments, and it might be worth checking to see if he'd give up his half-share in the house in exchange for freedom from child support payments. If the mortgage was then in abeyance for the duration of your maternity leave you'd at least be covered and free from the hassle of chasing this moron for the next 18 years. Plus the housing market will pick up again so you'd probably make a profit on the house eventually.

I've no idea if it would work or even be legal. Just my thoughts.

Edit: my other thought is that he's trying to force the sale of the house. Could that be it?

SuzyWuzy_2

Fitz - Your best off never relying on maintenance money from an ex...if you get it its a bonus. Contact the CSA but be prepared to wait, even then it could take years (in my case 9 and its still ongoing ! ) Think of it as their your children and your doing the providing for them. Unfair i know.

Sorry not a magical answer to everything but the only route you can take. Oh and you often find that the in laws dont want to get involved. Wrong in my opinion as they ARE involved but its best off leaving them out of it.

Good luck

newmoneysaver_2

JAM1376 wrote: »

Thanks NMS

Yes, 'planning' a homebirth but always keeping an open mind! Next door were also slagging the aftercare and midwifes/HV that visit afterwards so good to hear it's not as bad as they make out.

I know of lots that were born there (me included!) but its just very nice to hear of a recent experience. Thank you xxx

Hugs to all, vibes to those that want them, I'm off too now.

Night xxx

I was born there too! TBH, the midwife who has visited at home has been fab - but I have seen her before and I know she is one of the nice ones We also had nice MW's throughout the labour process - we were there that long we had 4 shift changes. It was just on the ward that there was enough resources to provide the extra support - nothing was majorly wrong, just some information wasn't passed but the staff were constantly running between patients, they tried to help when ever they could, it was just the BF issues I had that I felt they took too far, I only expressed that I would to TRY and BF, not that I wanted to BF and BF only. I just felt the syringe feeding and the top-up formula feeds were too much, but then again, both baby & I were still suffering hte effects of the drugs given.

newmoneysaver_2

carlamagee wrote: »

its very quiet on here tonyt ladies!! just caught up after cinema.
nms - liam is beautful!!! just stalkerish me though.....is your mat black with pink n white flowers on?? lol

Took me a while to work that one out - I didn't realise you could see the rug on the pictures. It's this one!

skintchick

I've posted my incredibly long birth story on the BS thread, ladies. At long last.

Pictures to come when I've got them onto Photobucket.

Glamazon

SugarSpun wrote: »

csh, can I have my induction date changed to the 4th August please, since the mean ol' clinic is booked up on Monday?

Also, I think niknak was being induced the other day so maybe move her to the "probably given birth" list? Note: this is in no way an attempt to get to the top of the list. :whistle:

Triggles could be moved down as well cos she went in for Induction last week. Not that I want to move up the list either!

harley1 wrote: »

I'm so sorry he is being such a loser Fitz. I don't really know how to help you with the situation except to say that your mortgage company might give you a payment holiday to help out in the short term and I seem to remember something about benefits helping out with the interest on a mortgage (but it didn't apply to me so I don't really know any details).

I hope someone comes along soon with a bit more knowledge than me but I'm here to listen if you just need a friendly ear.

xxx

Fitz - Agree with Harley about the payment break on the mortgage this could mean you get a break until the loser gets a job and you can chase for maintenance. Agree you should contact CSA anyway

Posted a big post earlier and then lost it!

Fairydawn has PM'd me - she hasn't had baby yet. She is keeping up with the thread and sends everyone her love.

Can we have some 'feel better' soon vibes for Dawn please?

Well, we took the bed down and I hoovered and scrubbed the floors in the nursery. We have moved some furniture but we have no room in garage for the junk to go in so we plan to blitz the garage Tuesday night and then we can move bed frame and rest of the stuff out the house.

We need to get a wriggle on cos I know what will happen - I'll start Mat Leave and OH will get a job and I'll not be able to move anything!

aless02

fitz - good luck with that. I'm afraid I don't have any practical advice here, but it sounds like other ladies really know what they're talking about.

skinty - yay! I'm off to go read

jenny - cool that you're so close to me. St George's is actually our closest (or maybe Kings), but we've chosen to use St Thomas's as it was what my GP recommended and where our MW is based out of, strangely enough - must be a weird catchment area or something. Anyone else going to St T's, as I seem to remember everyone going to St G's or further south??