Massive debts

gargrave50

grannyx2 wrote: »

I have loved reading your posts and seeing your journey from being in debts to being almost debt free and making such fantastic plans to emigrate.

The posts are a mixture of inspiring, funny sad, and real with such honest entries that I will be sad to see your journey come to an end. I honestly believe you could get paid for turning your story into a book, although you would probably have to change the names of the most troublesome creditors - LOL

I have had my own personal LBMs twice in the last 5 years.

The first mini one came in 2007 after my first grandchild was born, my parents separated after 50 years of marriage and my daughter informed me that she was staying in Oz for the foreseeable future.

I had hidden my debt from my husband for so many years, although how he didn't know I don't know as he was benefiting from my living beyond our means too. Although I had known for a number of years that my spending and debt was out of control I had not really sat down and worked out a way out of it.

In 2007 we had over £110k of unsecured debt between us with me trying to make the monthly repayments iro it all. :eek: Clearly with a salary of less than £20k per annum, I wasn't paying anything else and was always robbing Peter to pay Paul.

After coming clean to him, he agreed to securing the debt and thereby reducing our monthly outgoings to an affordable level. The only other option was either a DMP or bankruptcy, which would have ended up in our losing our home. We could only secure £70k so I was left with over £40k unsecured but the repayments were lower. Believing, stupidly, I could go from being a shopaholic to someone who spent nothing day to day, I found myself struggling to make the repayments to the remaining unsecured creditors.

In July 2011, with another LBM, I sat down and wrote to all our creditors. I explained our circumstances, including a reduction in the household income, that didn't really exist and asked them for help. It was a slow process but earlier this year, I finally got all bar one to agree to freeze interest and charges and accept lower payments for at least 12months, at which time it'll be reviewed but assured that this is just to ensure I haven't suddenly won the lottery or had a massive increase in income. :cool:

Probably not surprising to you is the one that has caused me the biggest problem. A HBOS credit card. :mad: They are still charging interest of around £70pm because I'm paying them £92pm. They even confirmed that the less I had to offer them, the lower the interest rate would be, until finally it would be zero. However, as I have tried to be fair and offer everyone a prorata monthly payment and they are owed £14k of my debt, I don't feel I can reduce my offer to them. I even asked them if I stopped payments all together would they pass it to a DCC who would then freeze interest etc but they said this would instigate legal proceedings.

I'd accepted this until I read your awe-inspiring journey and have now decided to join you in some of the steps you have taken.

Wish me luck.

Grannyx2

plans for 2012 - save enough to visit DD in Oz in 2013
save enough to give DS £500 towards his frugal wedding in Oct 12
pay off one of my small debts
Sort out HBOS :T

Hi (again) Grannyx2

What a lovely post, can't thank you enough but absolutely your success so far has been your own. You have obviously worked hard to get to the stage you are at now.

HBOS have been @ssholes, however I fully intend to prolong this out to a statute barred scenario. They have been offered sensible, realistic and affordable repayment options and rejected them all. In that case they will have nothing - let's see how they like that:p.

They don't have a valid CCA to take me to court with (albeit there are a few cases where they have still taken people to court but few and far between as far as I've seen), and if they do the Judge won't view too kindly that you have made realistic sustainable repayment options and they have rejected it. A few strongly worded letters mentioning that fact that "it is a bank's responsibility to treat their customers fairly", and how they are currently worsening your present financial hardship should make them bend a little.:cool:

I'm not entertaining them one little bit - let them take me to court. The Judge will only agree to a repayment which is affordable and sustainable. They can't have what you haven't got!

All the very best. You've set my mind off about writing a book now:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:. You see I'm supposed to change names to protect the innocent, but my creditors certainly ain't innocent (and neither am I so suppose I should use my ACTUAL name:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:).

Keep in touch!

xx Julie

gargrave50

debtfreewannabe321 wrote: »

how about you meet half way. You use the letting agents and his friend can apply through them for the house ;)

Yeah that would be an ideal scenario but of course they can't afford the rent the letting agent is valuing our house at, hence my point to hubby. Why take a lower amount with an unreliable tenant who could screw us at any given moment, when we should at least have the security of a deposit, regular inspections and a referenced and credit checked tenant (I've got such a cheek re: credit referencing - that means I wouldn't rent my house to me!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:)

grannyx2

gargrave50 wrote: »

(I've got such a cheek re: credit referencing - that means I wouldn't rent my house to me!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:)

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Ah but surely that means you have learnt by your previous mistakes :money:

Thanks for the kind words, off to bed now. Hadn't realised the time and sure OH will have me up at stupid o'clock to do something fun - not :rotfl:

gargrave50

Almost forgot to give you all a little update!

Nothing in particular, just my daily musings.:o

Nightshift again (as you might tell from the timings of my posts this week - and some of you just thought I was an insomniac ). Not bank this time, so completely grudging every moment!

Had to comfort a friend who's also a colleague and had a really horrendous experience on the Labour Ward today. She is really upset bless her and wasn't supported by her colleagues in any way. People don't really think about the not so nice side to our job, but when its bad it lives with you forever .

Anyway have sorted her out, and sorted the patients out (marginally more important I suppose:rotfl::rotfl:). Bit annoyed with hubby - took himself down the pub and probably spent £40. Should I remind him he's bloody unemployed? Probably not, bless him he doesn't go out very much at all. However, he is talking about going down the pub with me on Saturday next week when I'm home after Cole's Communion. How can I say no without hurting his feelings? 1. I don't want to leave Cole when I haven't seen him for 3 weeks and 2. I don't want to spend the money. What I really want to do is stay in cook a nice dinner. Eat the Haagen Daz out the freezer, watch crappy TV and drink my own wine in my PJs.:money: I will have to tactfully (not my strong point) decline, and point out that he has no fixed income and we should be trying to cut our cloth accordingly at the moment. He will then almost definately go in an good old fashioned cream puff, and tell me how long its been since he was out with his wife...........

Here we bloody go.

At which point, I might just remind how long its been since he tried to run our finances.:o

Nothing much else to report - another 2 nightshifts (contracted hours how disappointing), then fly home Tuesday morning:j.

Hubby doesn't have work at the moment for Tuesday so is coming to pick me up which saves the £10 I usually pay the little retired man who comes to pick me up. (Taxi is usually £15 and bus is a nightmare as only leaves from city centre - would need to leave home 3 hours before I need to be there!).

Let's see how this goes - can't possibly suggest not going to the pub on the telephone from here, because between that and the row over renting our house, he may just erupt. That and his brother has been a pr!ck to him recently, because he is in a huff that we are moving to Australia. Personally I don't give a [EMAIL="!!!!"]!!!![/EMAIL], but he does. Isn't that always the way?!

gargrave50

Well now that 2 of my lovely MSE'ers have suggested I write a book, my brain is in overdrive. Might take a little gander from the beginning of my thread, and seriously consider it.

What on earth would I call it?

gargrave50

One slightly less anger fuelled post - my Manager has booked me for 4 bank nightshifts on the next off duty. I :heart2: her.

gargrave50

Well I did it - told hubby I don't want to go to the pub on Saturday:eek:.

Apparently because he is unemployed isn't a very good reason?! !!!!!!?! :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

I didn't explode surprisingly - will keep that til I get home and have my takeaway and a sleep, then let him have it.

Poor love - he doesn't know whats about to hit him moneysaving wise. He is about to get a crash course in making a £1 last a week. This is the guy who manages to go to Tesco and spend £30 without getting a meal.:o

All that will change. Yes the buffet and little party for DS's Communion is possibly a little extravagent. However paper plates and plastic cutlery all came from the Pound Shop, as did the platters for the chicken pakora, sausage rolls etc.

The buffet was mostly paid by M&S vouchers earned from survey sites, and the wine was an inadvertant blag. The beer is being bought with my clubcard vouchers (no longer need to change them for BA miles as all my flights til I leave are booked and paid for, have 6 cinema tickets to use and £40 to spend in Pizza Express still!). The cake was £25 in Greggs and has his picture on, and is also all paid for .

Do you know what? I'm a bloody great Mum and a bit of a genius. Maybe my husband should realise, that when it comes to stretching our money and making the best of what we have - all whilst paying for and single handedly organising an emigration to Australia - I am the mutts nuts.

You know what - I am going to write that book. Hope someone buys it!!!

gargrave50

Not the catchiest title - but its a start

"My journey to Debt Freedom - laughs, anxiety and stress free of charge".

gargrave50

Okay I'm officially a twisted bugg@r.

Just had a major obstetric haemorrhage in theatre, and the only thing I could think about was that Leona Lewis was on the radio in the background "keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding":rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:.

I am absolutely no help whatsoever, just as well I was scrubbed and had a mask hiding my face

gargrave50

Well the remainder of the nightshift has been fairly uneventful as it turns out, so I decided whilst I felt in good form to start penning my imaginary memoir . Bear in mind that this is a completely honest bare all (covering the nipples and girly bits) tale, probably much more honest than I was when I started this thread. So I guess what I'm saying is prepare yourself!

I’m not going to lie, I’m particularly good at burying my head in the sand – or I was. Probably for around 30 years I was particularly successful at it. My husband and I were living way beyond our means quite successfully for a few years, when I realised that actually throughout my adult life I had been fairly irresponsible with money. Now I had taken my previously sensible husband, and turned him into a spending machine. The trouble was, I was successfully hiding our debt. My husband thought we were doing okay, and had no idea about the number of credit cards and loans we had built up.

It started with cars, we loved cars. We would change our car every 12-18 months, keeping up with my husband’s friends who happened to sell drugs on the side. Not for a minute did I think how ridiculous that was, never for a second. Of course we hadn’t finished paying off one car when we would take out finance to pay another. This was the early part of the millennium, my husband’s credit score was good and getting credit wasn’t a problem. Mine was shot, and had been since I was a young adult and was let loose with my first £2k limit Visa card. I didn’t have a great track record, and always spent without giving any thought to how I would repay the money. And in truth, the money was never repaid. God knows what happened. You see, after a huge blowout with my parents over money (who were no experts themselves), I left home and shacked up with my now husband. They didn’t particularly like him, and we never spoke again.

As you can tell, I had basically got away with it for years, and therefore no harsh lessons or good role models to facilitate any change in my attitude towards credit. Then, young(ish) and in love, we decided to have a baby. Of course! However, he turned out to be fairly expensive and the debt spiralled as we paid for nursery furniture and prams, groceries and just about everything else on the remaining credit we had access to.

Unfortunately, that didn’t stop us. No lightbulb moment for me (of course he was oblivious and had no idea the extent of the debt we were in). I would rush home to grab the bills and hide them before he got home from work. I would also make sure I was up before him in the morning, as we had a period of one particular postman who liked to come at the crack of dawn. In the end I was exhausted and fairly on edge, given that I was keeping a fairly huge secret from my fantastic husband, who deep down I knew loved me unconditionally.

Over the next few years we managed to rear a child and get by, I carried on stuffing debt collectors letters and red bills into my bag. We managed somehow to get another credit card, and pay for a wedding on that. What a god awful idea that was (not the marriage just the card)! Wedding over, I had a mini epiphany where I decided I could “fix” this, before my husband found out. I made a meagre attempt at making repayment plans with all of our creditors. Wrote a few letters, and agreed to repayment plans insisted on by them, but completely unsustainable and unrealistic. Needless to say these soon fell by the wayside.

In the meantime, just to tighten the noose around our neck, I decided I wanted to become a Midwife. Having had my son, and decided that childbirth was the most amazing miracle (fact), I decided that finally after 30 years on the planet I actually had something I deeply wanted to do. Strictly speaking, what I want to do is win the lottery, but if I had to work for a living, a Midwife was what I wanted to be. My husband thought I was bonkers – I’m not known for being particularly caring apparently. Anyway, I enrolled myself in college, still working 25 hours a week in my part-time call centre job. I did a couple of highers at night school, whilst doing a full-time Social Sciences HNC to give me access to a degree place. Somehow I managed to juggle it all without building up any student debt with the exception of a £3k student loan. Now for a previously unscrupulous spendaholic that wasn’t a bad achievement, and surprising given that I hadn’t even seriously considered confronting our debt problem at this stage.

However, regardless of how successful I was at burying my head in the sand, and avoiding tackling the problem head on, that’s not what inspired me to write this book. Somehow, in the midst of our chaotic life, I decided I wanted it all to stop. The lying, the deceit, living on edge (financially and with my nerves in mind!), I wanted it all to be done. I’m a smart girl, never had to try very hard at school. Lived a charmed life if I’m brutally honest, escaping the majority of scrapes and disasters along the way. Surely I could sort out some debt? Well if only it were just quite as easy as that. I happened to be at home writing an essay, when a repeat of a Martin Lewis programme “Make Me Rich” came on. For those of you younger than most of my underwear, it was an ITV show where he took a family and went through their finances with a fine-tooth comb trying to show them where to make savings. I was completely hooked.

To say I was hooked, might be a “wee” white lie. This wasn’t the moment that changed my life – nope that was at least a full year later. I didn’t particularly carry on living as extravagantly as we had been, however there were still holidays and a new car, so I wasn’t exactly cutting my cloth accordingly. In truth, we were still trying to keep up with my husband’s less than honest friends.

Eventually I just couldn’t continue, the stress and the arguments were getting too much, as bit by bit the details of our debt came to my husband’s attention. He still didn’t have the full picture, but knew enough to know we had made a major boo boo. We made the decision (not our smartest move) to consolidate our debts and use the equity in the house to get rid of our debts and make our monthly finances a little more manageable. We initially borrowed £23k, which I later increased to £51k unbeknown to my husband which goes to show just how unscrupulous these companies are. We committed the ultimate crime – the £23k paid off all the loans and credit cards………then I ran them all up again. It was simply too accessible, easy to do, and the risk of consolidation with no willpower or sense. Of course, I couldn’t bring myself to tell my husband. The thought of securing £23k of debt had almost finished him off, so I did it all in silence. Didn’t pay it all off though, and were STILL left with 3 credit cards. We had a lovely holiday though, because I am a self indulgent Moron.

So come 2008, and we are not only saddled with a massive secured loan, but still have the wolf at the door snapping for repayment of 3 massive credit cards. Eventually even I realised something had to be done. I googled Martin Lewis, and up popped his consumer website, “MoneySavingExpert.com”. Therein lied my saviour as it would turn out. Never met the man before, but I can tell you if I had anything to leave in my will he would be in there.
No offence Martin but strictly speaking it wasn’t entirely just you who saved my bacon, although, your weekly email of money saving tips got me out of many a scrape and earned me a few quid. Never having used a forum before, I wasn’t naturally a great communicator, but I knew I could write fairly well with a touch of humour. I started a “diary” of sorts, trying to initially get advice on our situation, although shame kept me from ever being brutally honest. Over time, people gave me a well deserved tongue lashing about my irresponsible spending, whilst others tried to encourage me to change. I knew I was a spender not a saver, and change was more difficult than I could have imagined. I was the woman who went to the cashline with only £100 available on a Tuesday and no more wages until Friday, would withdraw that and spend it on cushions and candles. I would never have considered that there might be direct debits coming off, or that eating might be a priority. I had a penchant for soft furnishings to fulfil.

The “diary” was aptly called “Massive Debts”.