MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Should Napoleon wait till after the holiday to ditch Josephine?

Sublime_2

Tell them. Then either one of them goes, they both do (as singles), or nobody. Somebody may as well have the holiday. Why not offer it to her. There is no point going on holiday with someone that you don't want to be with, as you will not have a good time.

skint_but_working_on_it

Napoleon should end the relationship. Neither of them should take the holiday and they should just walk away having learned a very expensive lesson.

I know it's all about the money, but at the end of the day if either of them went to the Maldives they would both be thinking "the other one should be here" which would just make for a blummin miserable time for them.

Next time try a last-minute booking - (a) it'd be cheaper and (b) you wouldn't have enough time before you go to realise the love of your life is actually a bozo!!

MrsGWoman

Morally, he should dump her before the holiday - how can he spend 2 weeks with someone, knowing full well that he's going to leave them when he gets back? Alternatively, still dump her, get the tickets changed to another name and let someone else go instead? I still think that she's better off without him.

-Zigo

It's not too much of a surprise to see that most men's thoughts are to take the holiday and dump her afterwards, whereas most women's thoughts are tell the truth beforehand. A notable reversal of the stereotypical trend is in MelissaC's post. For the record, I'm a 30 year old man.

I tend to over-analyse things, especially when a lot of the facts aren't known, but this is the way I see it:

To have planned a holiday to the Maldives, I'm guessing it was booked a long time ago (especially for that price), which suggests they've been together for at least quite a few months. Additionally, unless he's loaded and foolish, it's unlikely they would plan a holiday like that unless they've been together for even longer, say at least a year.

It's now only 2 weeks until the holiday and he's just decided he wants to end the relationship. They're not arguing and he simply wants to be single again, which suggests they still enjoy each other's company a lot. I don't think he would have to try to 'fake' interest, nor would he obviously give the game away. If all he wants is to be single again, and doesn't have any real problems with her, then I see no rush to end it now.

Life is too short to throw away the holiday. Given how they seem to be with each other, they'll both really enjoy it. There may have been external factors which clouded his judgement of the relationship - such as work stress or something - and he may realise that in the relaxing and fun environment of the holiday he may change his mind about their relationship. Alternatively, she may have similar thoughts and they may decide to mutually end it at some point when they're back home.

If he tells her now, she'll be shocked and heartbroken at the out-of-the-blue end, and as a double whammy she'll be gutted about a great holiday she was looking forward to. I don't agree with people's suggestions that he should offer her both tickets so she can take a friend - he hasn't done anything bad like cheat on her, so why should he lose out?

If he told her beforehand but still went himself (either on his own or with someone else), she would absolutely despise him for a very long time, so I don't think that's a good idea.

And if by telling her beforehand she insisted that neither of them go so as not to be unfair on the other, then that's a waste of a holiday. As I said, life's too short.

Finally, if they've been together for quite some time and the only reason he wants to end it is to be single, surely he will have no problem being with her for the duration of the holiday, and then a few (e.g. at least 3) more weeks after that. By then, when he does break up with her, it won't ruin her memories of the holiday, and it will be a much more natural end.

Sorry for the length of my post, I did say I over-analyse things!

Gavin83

kathy_virginvie wrote: »

2 years ago. Same situation. Boyf' wanted to take me to Australia with all his family to visit his brother. No way had I that sort of money so he paid for my ticket. Just over £900. Leading up to the holiday I knew we weren't going to last. Asked him to cancel my ticket but he put the guilt trip on me so I went.

It should've been the holiday of a lifetime but it wasn't. I hated it. I've no good memories of that holiday other than its a beautiful country. That's it.

Took me another 4 months after we got back for me to get up the courage to break up with him...

...then he asks for his money back.

Be up front with the girl/guy about the relationship. Don't put yourself or the other person through it. I've hated myself for letting him have that control over me and putting me into even more debt (which I'm still trying to pay for)

Bottom line : it's not worth it.

Did you actually agree to pay the money back?

I can appreciate everyones view that she has a right to know before they go away and in many ways I agree, but in many ways I think it's fairer to let her enjoy the holiday. If he tells her beforehand there are the following options:

• They both continue to go as friends. This in reality really isn't going to work so soon after the breakup, they'll be lots of tears, unhappiness and probably fighting. What kind of holiday memory will that leave for the both of them?
• One of them goes and buys the other ticket off their partner, probably the best option to choose if he did actually tell her beforehand. Of course there is the issue of actually finding someone who wants the ticket.
• Neither of them go, but it's a bit stupid to waste this much money because of the breakup. £900 each is a lot of money even for well off people.

None of these options are ideal so I really think it's best to just have the holiday, enjoy it as much as possible and end it once back home, with a reasonable amount of waiting time. Obviously if you end it on the plane on the way back that's a bit much.

Of course the other option is to give her the holiday without payment but I really don't even consider this an option. He hasn't done anything wrong in ending the relationship and I don't see why he should be out of pocket for the breakup. I really couldn't afford to give my ex £900 just because I didn't like her anymore.

blue_haddock

Napoleon should keep quiet till the holiday, then spend 2 weeks enjoying himself in the sun drinking and having fun whilst getting josephine to take part in as many perverted sex acts with him as he can.

He should tell her its over as they pick the bags up in arrivals on the way home. They can then leave in seperate cabs and never see each other again.

JOANNESAPHINE

A £900 holiday of a lifetime isn't an holiday of a lifetime with someone you don't want to be with. Don't be cruel and string her along, be honest and if you have to forgo the holiday it's better to have done that and have done the right thing.

brightonman123

go on the hol, if already paid for. the break away may just be what OP and 'ex to be' might need to re ignite their love..?

failing that, flirt like mad with locals, make ex hop off home, and then do a booty call!:money: