A fresh start

MatyMoo

My sister has three daughters, twins with another 2 years older. For various reasons they all ended up at University at the same time, in three different cities.

The parents agreed to pay all tuition fee's and accommodation costs but if the girls wanted anything else they had to work to pay for it or take out student loans, to be fair they had all been taught budgeting and cooking skills and had been in boarding school so they were quite independent already.

They have all come out with some student loans but nowhere near the level of some of their friends, it is almost inevitable I think that they will have some debt.

chevalier

hi seax this is what my friend posted about indian money

Hi No problem! You can't buy rupees outside India, so best to take some cash and exchamge it at the airport. the rates are fairly ok there. Debit and credit cards are widely accepted in shops, but your friend will need cash for street ...purchases, and taxis. Taxis are reasonably cheap, around 1/3 the price of English ones, but journeys can take quite a while with the traffic. A typical taxi ride for me into the city is 1.5 to 2 hours, and costs between £15 and £20. The motorized rikshaws are very cheap, but not advisable for long journeys, much better for 5-10 minuites. Hope that helps.

chevalier

Hope you are having a very productive time in India. Looking forward to hearing all about it.
chev

hypno06

Seaxwyn wrote: »

Hypno, what is your DD planning to do?

Sorry, I missed this when you first posted it. DD has been unhappy since going back to 6th form in September. She switched courses but still didn't settle, so she has packed it in and started work yesterday.

So, for her, uni is not something that appeals at the moment. She has her AS but nothing more, so if she does decide to do it in the future, it will be some way off.

I hope India is fab!

Seaxwyn

Just back from India this evening. I daren't look at my accounts just yet - I spent more than I intended but it was a really wonderful trip.

Hypno, good luck to your DD in the world of work. What is she doing? I have one probably going to university and one probably doing an art foundation - though they are both quite keen to try the 'university of life' instead if they could find something interesting to do.

hypno06

Thanks - she has 2 part time jobs - one in a shoe shop, that is basically Saturdays, plus extra hours.....and one at a Land Agents, where she is doing admin to cover maternity leave.

So far, so good. Early days, but......!

Seaxwyn

Best of luck to your DD, Hypno. If she has anything of her mother's spirit, she will go far.

Has anyone ever used Relate relationship counselling? I saw a film they'd made on the plane yesterday, and the idea just jumped into my head that maybe a session or two with a counsellor could help me move on in deciding whether to stay with OH or not. I think about it constantly, but my mind just goes round the same tracks thinking of all the arguments for and against leaving. Maybe talking to someone who's trained to make you look at things differently would help.

Being a skinflint, I am reluctant to fork out money though, when I am more than capable of thinking it through myself. If anyone has any experience of Relate I'd be interested to hear it.

hypno06

Thanks Seax, I am sure that DD has enough of me in her to make the best of whatever comes her way, and to deal with the frustrations that will, inevitably, pop along. Real life - not going to be easy, but that's the way it is!

As for Relate, I have no experience. It is not a route we went down, and the only person that I do know to have used it went several times over the 10 years or so she was married, but never got the clarity she needed. Eventually, she came to her own conclusion and left when the time was right for her.

Like all these things, it will only be as good as the person you get to work with, and the frame of mind you personally are in at the time. It maybe that you actually know the answers already, you just need someone else to bring them forward for you to acknowledge.

Good luck, with whatever you decide to do. You know I am about on fb chat if ever you want!

lionheartedgirl

Hi, sorry to barge in with no introductions - I lurk but don't post, and just wanted to pop in on the Relate thing.

I went along with my ex hubby for the first consultation thing - but it wasn't for us. As hypno says, it is heavily dependent on who you get and the lady we had just didn't seem to 'get' what our issues were. We had lost our way, had no kids, neither of us were beating/abusing each other or had had an affair, and I think she just couldn't see why we were struggling.

In our area it is income assessed as well, and they wanted us to go each week at a high cost per hour because our on paper salaries were high - never mind what we were paying out etc. My ex hubby wisely said on the way home that we could spend the money on going out for dinner once a week and probably get the same/better result - the first thing we agreed on in months :rotfl:

I've since gone on to have counselling with my ex fiance and this worked much better - this was someone who was recommended by a friend and I still see her on my own.

I'm not trying to put you off, or say it will be the same in your area etc. But it's not a quick fix, and both of you have to be open to it.

What I would say though, is that the Relate books are excellent. The one that helped me the most was I Love You But I'm Not In Love With You (Andrew Marshall I think, not sure this is strictly a Relate book but he was involved in Relate at some point), plus Staying Together and something about Conflict Resolution I think. Have a nose on Amazon

I know you are having lots of ups and downs, but it's amazing how much you've been able to pay your debts down given the level of support you get.

*shuts door and goes back to lurking *

Seaxwyn

Thanks lionheartedgirl, I really appreciate you coming out of lurkdom to share your experience - please do it more often!

I am going to ring Relate tomorrow - I want to go on my own first as there are some things I'm not ready to be open about with OH. I have some reservations about them, I hope I don't get someone who has a vested interest in keeping couples together whatever as I want to explore the option of splitting too.

One of the main attractions of Relate is that it's really near my home - I know there are probably better counsellors but I don't have time to travel! I'll give it a go as a gesture to the universe and to myself that I want to move on. If the first session is no good, I don't need to go back. Even thinking about it has made me think a bit more clearly.

I have got five weeks off work, starting on 12 September. I am looking forward to this as a chance to sort my life out a bit. Things are quite bad in the three key areas of relationship, work and money, so I need to spend time working out how to improve all three. I'm hoping to get an evening/night time job to bring in some cash while leaving the days free.