Teens keeping their room clean

Glen0000

Our teen DD is very messy and her room would be like a pig sty if we did not make her tidy up/hoover it every week. Even then most of the time it is very messy. My mother remarked last week that we were lazy for not hoovering/tidying DD's room on a daily basis like we do for the rest of the house.

Is she right? How much do you do in regards to your teens room? I feel it should be her responsibility and if she wants to live in a mess it is her problem. To be honest though sometimes we feel like we are fighting a losing battle and it is embarrasing when people visit and make remarks.

SugarSpun

Tell your rude guests that they're welcome to step in and make with the cleaning if they want, but they'll then be responsible for the further care and maintenance of your spoiled teen.

Silverbird

It's definitely her own responsibility. As a teen she is old enough to do this herself and should be trying to become a little more independent. If things are done for her, how is she supposed to learn? She's got to realise for herself that if she leaves her room in a state then she'll be breathing in dust, treading on and breaking things and losing items. The only way she can avoid these things is to tidy up herself and take some pride in her own room.

It worked with me, although I have to say my sister is 27 and her room is still a pig sty and a real embarrassment to my parents when people visit, though they do now make an effort to keep her door closed or, if it's open, they'll apologise and say that their daughter doesn't take pride in her room, as they can see.

celyn90

Honestly? Let her be. It's her room, her mess and she has to live in it - just shut the door and walk on. She'll soon clean it when she has friends round or she can't find any clean clothes because they are all on the floor I think at that age her room should be her own a d she should feel like she has a space for herself. If she chooses to live like that then so be it. She has to clean out of a wish to have it clean rather than be forced, or she'll never come to think of it as anything other than a point of conflict. I very much believe in choosing your battles, and this really isn't one I'd bother with.

My sister was horrendous - but soon changed her ways when she was too embarrassed to have people visit.

Your mother should have no say at all. She shouldn't even see it to be honest and I think it's out of line and really very rude for her to even comment. I would just tell your DD to keep the door shut at all times so nobody sees and let her get on with it. best wishes, cel x

Glen0000

What about changing the bedsheets? Should we ask DD to strip the bed and make it fresh once a week or just leave it? She would never do it if we didnt ask.

Krystaltips

You hoover every day? Wow...

I have a 5 year old and every night before bed we tidy her room together... I'm hoping it might instill in her some kind of routine that she might stick to once she's a messy teen... But if that fails then I shall just shut the door on her mess... If I don't have to look at it then it won't matter...

celyn90

I would leave the clean sheets on her bed or just inside her door but not say anything and leave her the choice of changing it. She'll soon get round to it when she realises it smells.

Glen0000

Krystaltips wrote: »

You hoover every day? Wow...

Yes, we have pets, so lots of hair/food on the floor etc. Sometimes we have to hoover twice a day!

jinky67

With regards to the bedsheets, I gave my DS (16) clean bedsheets etc, told him everyday to put them on his bed......he eventually did it 6 days later:eek::eek:

i would tell your Mum to butt out to be honest, what does it have to do with her at all?

The_Banker_5

celyn90 wrote: »

She'll soon get round to it when she realises it smells.

Probably after about 6 months:D

Mrs_P_Pincher

When my DDs were growing up I was a working Mum with a partner who also needed looking after and did not help at all. I didn't do anything for them that they could do for themselves - I simply didn't have the time. They tidied and made their own beds from being about 9. I think they enjoyed the responsibility and it kept me out of their space.

Result - one clean freak and one who still lives in a mess.

Personally I'd leave your teen to get on with it and buy an air freshener for the landing if the cereal bowls under the bed are getting too much.

Life's too short

Mrs P P