Today is a new day!

hypno06

With egg, please take note of every phone call, who you spoke to, how many times they called, print off the secure messages, and make a note of how much time YOU have spent on sorting something out. Then write to them as a formal complaint. They take a while to deal with it but take it all the way and stay strong!

I had no end of problems with them........at its worst, I did shout down the phone that I can understand why some people throw themselves under trains when faced with things like this :eek: They took me all the way to the very end of my tether.

I have had a number of very different issues over the years that I have had to fight, but when I have done so, despite all the exhaustion, and belief that they are just trying to wind me up for some reason, they have compensated me.........I got a reduction in the APR of my loan by half, two cash payments to my account in respect of the time I have spent sorting out their cockups........and a crate of wine!

I have paid off all my debt with egg now.....every penny repaid - I used their incompetance as a motivator to get the money together to throw at them and get rid of them quicker.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

hypno06 wrote: »

With egg, please take note of every phone call, who you spoke to, how many times they called, print off the secure messages, and make a note of how much time YOU have spent on sorting something out. Then write to them as a formal complaint. They take a while to deal with it but take it all the way and stay strong!

I had no end of problems with them........at its worst, I did shout down the phone that I can understand why some people throw themselves under trains when faced with things like this :eek: They took me all the way to the very end of my tether.

I have had a number of very different issues over the years that I have had to fight, but when I have done so, despite all the exhaustion, and belief that they are just trying to wind me up for some reason, they have compensated me.........I got a reduction in the APR of my loan by half, two cash payments to my account in respect of the time I have spent sorting out their cockups........and a crate of wine!

I have paid off all my debt with egg now.....every penny repaid - I used their incompetance as a motivator to get the money together to throw at them and get rid of them quicker.

Thank you Hypno. I will do that once I know this months payt is paid, theres a chance I will have to call them on Sat to pay by debit card if they haven't taken dd by then. I have it all logged down and I can print off the secure messages Ive sent. Am still waiting to hear from MBNA re refunding the charges. Will give them till the weekend and then call them too.

I think, no, I know this is what wears me down and sometimes I wonder if I need to go for counselling again. Ive always felt I have to fight for things, the right to be like "everyone else". This is not meant to be a sob story, its just the way it has been. Just being disabled sadly puts me in a disadvantage. I can pretend it doesn't and hasn't but it has. My start inlife was at a !!!!!! School, I then had to work ultra hard to get my O levels and A levels and received a top pass in my typing exams which I did one handed. Working for the bank I had to constantly prove myself to the Management, proved them all wrong, I achieved promotion by working extra extra hard to show I was capable. Then becoming pregnant with dd. Many people didn't think I would cope. Some of my family thought I should have an abortion. I had to stand my ground and proved them wrong. Then my dh. What a thing to go through, for him and my dd of course more than me. Since then, Ive had to defend my right to work and keep what represents my years of working - my home, our home.

So, Im sick to death of fighting the way things are . I'm sure I am not alone in that feeling. I just want to be as normal as possible, however I feel like a square peg trying to fit a round hole much of the time always on the defensive for the way I am and the way I do things and the way dd is being bought up and how my disability effects us. I can try to be normal, but the fact is it does effect us dramatically. Even with my business, Ive received awards and recognition for my results and my success in the face of adversity - the latter was before my dh was murdered! - but I wonder why they ever thought I deserved that. I dont feel I deserved it because I feel I am constantly having to try etra extra hard to get where others are because of the way things are. I think its because Im the only disabled person in the group of 1000 people Im part of that I know. Then my dh murder is there every single day, in my head. I wonder if I will ever be freeof it, the thoughts of what he went through, I loved him for half of my life, the worry of what happens to us if the murderer is ever let out. So much to consider re my dd, its never ending. Then theres the debt, the debt I want to get rid of so much, I want to work so hard and do my best. And theres this underlying feeling that my best will never be good enough because the starting block for me is way behind everyone else. I dont know if I can keep finding the extra energy that everything takes both emotionally and physically. Will stop there. Ive well and truely woffled and I need to get back to work. I need so much to remain positive and focused and believe that I can get there. Will go and read my positive affirmations!

Will keep this post to look back on in the future and I will know Ive come a long way! Never thought I would feel I could leave my heart bare on a forum like this but there you go!

Anyone still reading you need an award too!

In_my_dreams

I absolutely applaud you for everything you have done in the most terrible of circumstances. I have no idea of the hell you must have been through but the fact that you are here, fighting and no doubt making your DD and your DH very very proud of you - you really do deserve a medal.

I am sure your Gran will forgive you re the furniture and I am sure your DH is acting as the angel above that keeps you going.

Your post really did move me to tears and put me in shame for being self pitying. Well done you for everything you have achieved and for keeping fighting :T

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Sorry sorry sorry, apart from the note to Hypno ofcourse, if Icould cancel the earlier post I would. I need to be grateful for so much, we are all so blessed in so many ways, I need to look forward , know decisions from here on in will be positive ones, build my business, take things on the chin, face each challenge positively, and become debt free at the same time as becoming really really successful in my business! And ofcourse ensure my dd and I are happy along the way! Off to work with a spring in my step!

Karmacat

Positive and Focussed, I've only just come across your thread - I'll be going back to read it from the beginning shortly - but I just wanted to say, I'm glad you *haven't* deleted the above post. You sound like an amazing person.... I'll be coming back to your thread.

Thank you for posting.

In_my_dreams

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED wrote: »

Sorry sorry sorry, apart from the note to Hypno ofcourse, if Icould cancel the earlier post I would. I need to be grateful for so much, we are all so blessed in so many ways, I need to look forward , know decisions from here on in will be positive ones, build my business, take things on the chin, face each challenge positively, and become debt free at the same time as becoming really really successful in my business! And ofcourse ensure my dd and I are happy along the way! Off to work with a spring in my step!

You ARE being positive, otherwise you wouldn't have come this far. Don't delete your post as it is a true credit to you and what you have achieved.

Different_Corner

PAF
I just want to say that you are awesome. You are the force you are today because of all your hard work never giving up, grabbing life by the short and curlies and taking it on.

You had DH with you for half your life and because of him and your life together you became the person you are today. He's sitting on your shoulder, applauding you I'm sure. He's still a big part of you.

Sending huge hugs.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Well, back to practicalities. recd a letter from MBNA regarding my letter which requested they decrease my interest rate. They've sent me a standard letter saying the investigations are taking longer, and they will now respond by Oct 12th. Perhaps Ill call them and say my next payt is taking longer than first thought to raise, Ill send it to them a month late!! I wonder if they would be happy with that! Its one rule for one and one rule for the other! Oh well, will wait and see. Two responses are now still o/s from them.

Thank you for all your positiveness. I am truely sorry for laying myself bare. Im not the only one having bad days and I don't want to be selfish, I do things before I think them through properly. Hope you all have a great day.

InaPickle

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED wrote: »

I think, no, I know this is what wears me down and sometimes I wonder if I need to go for counselling again. Ive always felt I have to fight for things, the right to be like "everyone else". This is not meant to be a sob story, its just the way it has been. Just being disabled sadly puts me in a disadvantage. I can pretend it doesn't and hasn't but it has. My start inlife was at a !!!!!! School, I then had to work ultra hard to get my O levels and A levels and received a top pass in my typing exams which I did one handed. Working for the bank I had to constantly prove myself to the Management, proved them all wrong, I achieved promotion by working extra extra hard to show I was capable. Then becoming pregnant with dd. Many people didn't think I would cope. Some of my family thought I should have an abortion. I had to stand my ground and proved them wrong. Then my dh. What a thing to go through, for him and my dd of course more than me. Since then, Ive had to defend my right to work and keep what represents my years of working - my home, our home.


So, Im sick to death of fighting the way things are . I'm sure I am not alone in that feeling. I just want to be as normal as possible, however I feel like a square peg trying to fit a round hole much of the time always on the defensive for the way I am and the way I do things and the way dd is being bought up and how my disability effects us. I can try to be normal, but the fact is it does effect us dramatically. Even with my business, Ive received awards and recognition for my results and my success in the face of adversity - the latter was before my dh was murdered! - but I wonder why they ever thought I deserved that. I dont feel I deserved it because I feel I am constantly having to try etra extra hard to get where others are because of the way things are. I think its because Im the only disabled person in the group of 1000 people Im part of that I know. Then my dh murder is there every single day, in my head. I wonder if I will ever be freeof it, the thoughts of what he went through, I loved him for half of my life, the worry of what happens to us if the murderer is ever let out. So much to consider re my dd, its never ending. Then theres the debt, the debt I want to get rid of so much, I want to work so hard and do my best. And theres this underlying feeling that my best will never be good enough because the starting block for me is way behind everyone else. I dont know if I can keep finding the extra energy that everything takes both emotionally and physically. Will stop there. Ive well and truely woffled and I need to get back to work. I need so much to remain positive and focused and believe that I can get there. Will go and read my positive affirmations!

Will keep this post to look back on in the future and I will know Ive come a long way! Never thought I would feel I could leave my heart bare on a forum like this but there you go!

Anyone still reading you need an award too!

Hi PaF,

I've tried to PM you this, but, embarrasingly, I can't figure out how to send one by being the person to start the message instead of replying! If anyone knows how, please tell me!

Right, first up, I'm sorry you're having a bad day. And I'm also sorry for a lot the stuff that has happened to you in life. It sounds like you really have had to fight for lots of things in life, and if you think about them all together, it seems unfair. And it is, 'cos life it rarely fair. However, I've come to the conclusion that this is what differentiates life's winners from it's loosers: it's not what you start with, it's what you make of it. And you are not a looser. Or a victim. I've also come to the conclusion that the only thing that stops a victim being a victim in horrible circumstances is a person's acknowledgement to accept that they are a victim, and to battle on through regardless. I do have a certain amount of experience in that, and I can tell you that it is unequivocally true.

I guess it's easy for me start spouting off here in many respects as I don't live your life and can't truly see how your life is, apart from what you tell us on here, but thanks to my own experiences I have realised that a lot of life is how you choose to look at it. I've had a pretty rough two years, including the death of my dad last January. He had cancer, and he was getting better according to the doctors, except for the part where they had missed that the cancer had spread to his liver. They didn't discover that until three days before he died, by which time it was far too late. I'm really sorry that he died, but in a way I'm glad that he didn't have to truly suffer for more than a ten days as many people who die of cancer are in a terrible state for months, even years on end. And above all, I still have 27 years of happy memories and love to look back on.

Since then, some truly terrible things have happened. I could honestly write a storyline for Eastenders (that most depressing of soap operas) describing what has gone on, but I honestly think that the audience would refuse to believe that one bad thing could keep following another like that, and call it unrealistic. But I (we: me, my mum and my brother) have battled on as we are not victims: we have had to deal with some horrible situations, but we have had to develop the mindset that one problem must be overcome, then the next, then the next. There are times when it seems a bit too much, but you carry on and muddle through. Some nineteen months on, and it's just about all over, and I'm looking to sorting my career out and moving on with the next phase of my life. And I am literally unbreakable now. Nothing and no-one will ever be able to get on top of me, and the world is now my oyster. Once you've come out the other end of something like that, you gain a sense of perspective over the mundane, trivial things in life and know that you are the master of them, no matter what.

With regard to your husband's death, I can only imagine what if feels like to loose someone you love, particularly your partner, in such a horrific way, but the way you look at it counts: it's horrible that he died in such a way, and all the thoughts and feelings you have about how he felt at that time haunt you, but you must accept that that moment has passed now, for both you and him. Wherever he is, he does not feel that pain, and in fact it is you who has to live with remembering his life here has the worse lot. It seems to me that you are doing a pretty spectacular job, for the most part, but remember all the great things you had together (including DD) instead of defining his life by the moment of his death: that wasn't nice, but the rest was.

And I also know what you mean about a starting block being further back. For me, it's a lot more trivial than for you, but I decided I wanted to take up running (I really want to run a marathon for my dad to raise money for cancer research so that somehow, inexplicably, his death wasn't in vain) but I am so unfit it's untue, and I assumed that I was so far behind everyone else. Then I posted my time for walking a certain distance on the running forum here, assuming that I was at least twice as slow as everyone else had been when they started walking, and they told me that I'm actually pretty quick for a beginner! Slap my face with a wet kipper, but I was not expecting that! I guess that sometimes things aren't always quite as bad as they seem, but when we are unsure of out abilities and have lost perspective, they do seem bad.

In short, chin up PaF: yes, life is tough, yes crappy things have happened to you, many of which are not your fault, but it's how you deal with them that counts. I have met too many people with perfectly lovely lives who have adopted the 'glass half empty' attitude and have let themselves go to rack and ruin due to their skewed perceived lack of ''luck' in life. They are fools. People like you and me know that you make your own luck, and when you've done that sometimes life pats you on the back and rewards you for it in some other, unexpected way. x

InaPickle

Crap! That took me so long to write that loads of other replies got in there first. Sorry!