** Daily Chat - Thursday 25th June**

sammy115

becky_rtw wrote: »

But surely if you are unhappy then they are going to know that as well...but I dont have any so I dont know about such things :o:D

My take on it was exactly that, but I was desperate to give my kids a 'normal' family life, and I wanted them to have a father at home. If that meant putting up with a control freak then thats what I was prepared to do. However, it meant me putting my feelings on hold. It took me a long time to get over burying my feelings so deeply.

(Land_of)_Maz

sallyx wrote: »

I pretty much had the same conversation with one of my best friends this morning maz...Am fed up and need to do something about it!

Do you think Big G will want out? Or change?

i hope he'll want out. he promised to change so many times, and in some ways he has. Some of you might remember i had the keys to another flat probably 18 months ago and me n erin were leaving. She broke her heart, he promised to change, so i backed down..... and he promised if i wasn't happy he said he would walk away and leave me the house which is only rented. So here's hoping he is good for his word.

It's easy to say don't settle, but there's a little bit of me that wonders if my expectations are too high.... is being with someone who is "okay" better than being on your own.....?

Bringing it back to DFW relevence, at least i am almost debt free, so that's a good thing.

(Land_of)_Maz

Lucifa73 wrote: »

Maz, the right decision is often hard and painful. Talk to him about it, give it a chance but know when to draw the line. I may have this wrong but you do seem to lead separate lives now anyway...

Big hugs :grouphug:

You have is sussed Luci, we're only there for each other as childcare so we can do our own things, if i'm honest.

Being with him makes my life easier in terms of getting to do my stuff.... but it's not a relationship.

redsquirrel80

(Land_of)_Maz wrote: »

It's easy to say don't settle, but there's a little bit of me that wonders if my expectations are too high.... is being with someone who is "okay" better than being on your own.....?

I don't think there's a simple answer to that, different for different people, it depends what makes you happiest.

sammy115

Do you think being almost debt free is giving you a kind of freedom that you didn't have before.....

As for Erin breaking her heart I did find out the hard way that if you keep relationships with your ex OH friendly then seperation can be good for a child. I don't speak to my ex but I pretty much let my kids see him whenever they want to (which isn't much luckily).

She may take it hard at first but she will soon see the benefits.

scorgeous

sammy115 wrote: »

Scorgeous is forcing me Sally!

:eek: I am so not, you are the one that told me to do it !!!!!!!!!:rolleyes:

Toto

sammy115 wrote: »

Relationships are a total compromise - I just compromise more than my OH!

My first OH left me with fractured ribs while I was pregnant so it kind of made the decision easier, but up until then I had decided that I had made my bed so I would lie in it...(however never having had a father I wasn't sure what a normal relationship was).

My 'current' OH drives me crazy but we still love each other, but we are so different we have to compromise. Also we have both changed a lot over the last 17 years and its whether you grow together or grow apart that makes the big difference..

I have a nightmare ex and getting out of that relationship was the best thing I ever did. The most recent ex was exciting and I loved him (too much) and, I know he loved me too, 5 years on he still hasn't totally let go, I still get the odd 'miss you' 'I still adore you' 'I wish you were here with me' texts. But, that relationship was like a drug addiction, very very bad for me but hard to give up.

I thought I was settling for comfortable when I married fran, but actually I found a calm, reliable, sensitive kind of love and as the months pass we have grown so 'together' I can never imagine life without him and wouldn't want to.

If you look at someone and think 'I can't see myself wanting this life for the rest of my life' it's time to make changes and either force the situation to be resolved or move on.

sammy115

I seem to be suffering from an alcohol induced depression...(sammy wishes she was more sensible)

becky_rtw

You both should do it - even if you have to chalk it up to 'this was a rubbish race' (boy do I have some of those ) it gives you a chance to practice race tactics and stuff

sallyx

sammy115 wrote: »

Scorgeous is forcing me Sally!

:rotfl::rotfl::T I am sure you will be fine hun!