Inappropriate comments from teaching assistant

jellyhead

pollypenny wrote: »

How does OP know that the TA remembers the names of the 28 white children in the class?

Hands up anyone who has mistaken someone for someone else?

I once greeted a woman with "Oh, are you back from maternity leave now?"

It was another very slim blonde with glasses who had had the baby.

I do that all the time, I'm awful at recognising people by face, so I use hairstyle, freckles, glasses etc. as clues. When I volunteered in school I found it incredibly difficult to learn how to tell the boys apart because they all looked similar whereas the girls had different hair lengths etc. and it didn't help that so many of the boys were called ryan. There were 3 black children, 2 of them were boys but they were easy to recognise because they had different height and build.

If this TA has been with the class all academic year though, shouldn't she know the children by now? By summer I knew everybody, even all the mousey haired ryans.

alm721

Maybe the TA was trying to help your son by explaining that he did need to use sun cream as he could still damage his skin without it. She maybe could have said it better but she could have been trying to help It does sound as if this is being blown out of all proportion, I can't see anything racist here!

KellyWelly

I'd be glad they got my child to put sun cream on at all - most teachers don't do it at all.

Janepig

pollypenny wrote: »

How does OP know that the TA remembers the names of the 28 white children in the class?

Hands up anyone who has mistaken someone for someone else?

I once greeted a woman with "Oh, are you back from maternity leave now?"

It was another very slim blonde with glasses who had had the baby.

DD had her PE lesson in school last week with the teacher from year 2 whose class she's going to be in from September, I guess for them to get to know each other. Anyway, DD thought it was hilarious when she was telling me that the teacher was calling her friend Maisie, "Macy". DD said she did it about 3 times and thought it was the funniest thing ever :rolleyes:. Given that there are 30 in DD's class, hats off to the new teacher for even coming close!

Jxx

Zziggi

I go in as a 'helper' into my children's school regularly. You know how sometimes you get the name of a person fixed in your head and then you are forever getting it wrong or mixed up. In the class i go into I am always getting 2 girls mixed up and 2 boys mixed up. They look similar and I just can't get their names right even now near the end of the school year.

The girls are both white, similar height with blonde hair of a similar length that is always tied back in a plait. It doesn't help that their first names are very similar also.

The 2 boys that I get mixed up are both black, short hair with the same style, similar height & in the same class.

I would be absolutely mortified & truly devastated if one of the parents of the boys complained that I kept mixing her son up with the only other black boy in the class because "they all look the same" and that my actions were somehow indicative of underlying racism. It isn't, I just get them mixed up because they have a number of features that are similar, just as the 2 girls.

poet123

Zziggi wrote: »

I go in as a 'helper' into my children's school regularly. You know how sometimes you get the name of a person fixed in your head and then you are forever getting it wrong or mixed up. In the class i go into I am always getting 2 girls mixed up and 2 boys mixed up. They look similar and I just can't get their names right even now near the end of the school year.

The girls are both white, similar height with blonde hair of a similar length that is always tied back in a plait. It doesn't help that their first names are very similar also.

The 2 boys that I get mixed up are both black, short hair with the same style, similar height & in the same class.

I would be absolutely mortified & truly devastated if one of the parents of the boys complained that I kept mixing her son up with the only other black boy in the class because "they all look the same" and that my actions were somehow indicative of underlying racism. It isn't, I just get them mixed up because they have a number of features that are similar, just as the 2 girls.

It does show how careful you have to be though, it seems some people look for "issues" and invariably you will find one if you look hard enough.

Quasar

poet123 wrote: »

It does show how careful you have to be though, it seems some people look for "issues" and invariably you will find one if you look hard enough.

All I can say is that I'm glad I've never worked with children and now not even with other people, but do marketing surveys on my own. It seems that even simple conversation and quite innocent remarks made with no malice at all, but taken out of context, can land you into trouble these days

Like most women I find children endaring but I avoid them whenever possible because I'm too scared that unintentional touching or innocuous remarks might be taken out of context by some who want to find offence and make a few waves around.

This is the society that has been created by stretching PC to absurd levels - one where racism or any other no-no can be construed even where there isn't any, and in fact might cause more than there already is, giving rise unnecessary suspicion and animosity. Not a good way to encourage people to get on with one another.

Mely

I would like to know,that if your son got sunburned and his skin peeled, would it be a light colour due to sun damage? As i dont know.

lolababy

It always puzzles me how we can have black awards in music but if we had white awards we would be considered racist.
I come from a family thats as diverse as they come ie white ,Asian and black. The so called pc brigade have made people scared to open their mouths in case they offend. That sets people more apart than ever.
As someone has mentioned children dont see the persons skin colour as a factor when talking about the person.

I agree that the ta should be told that her remarks have offended but you need to make sure that the issue is not blown out of proportion. You are in danger of setting your child apart from those around him if you defend him from every inappropraite remark.

Primrose

You're white. Your partner is black, so of course your children will be brown skinned and will look different from many of their peers. Sooner or later people, even in innocence will comment about it in some way, often without thinking or realising it will cause offence. I think you're rather making a storm in a teacup. Surely the more fuss you make about the situation the more you will emphaise to your children that the colour of their skin is different from many of the other children they mix with. I'd be tempted just to let the matter rest before your children become over sensitive about the whole matter. To blow the issue up will only emphasise their difference and I'm not sure your children will necessarily welcome that.