pammyj74's MFW diary (or possible wishful thinking!!)

newgirly

Hi Pammy ,I have been having a catch up with your diary, and I have to say I know how you feel regarding OPing and the kids, I feel sometimes that it a choice I have made (not even DH!) , and that I'm kind of forcing them all to live on less money. I know that its the right choice and they don't go without, but they don't have the meals out and as many treats as they used to.
I feel a lot of its for the kids benefit too. I know my parents and qiute a few of their friends still have mortgages well into their 60's, and are not in a position to help thier kids, and I would love to help out my 3 if we can when the time comes as where we live I think it is so expensive , and I don't know how they ever manage, and I want to be able to help with uni fees etc. So I guess sacrifices have to be made somewhere down the line, and kids are usually happy with what they are used to.
I personally think that inviting round a precocious spoilt child for tea, who boasts about what he has (and mine don't) tends to put things in perspective, for me and my lot usually.

pammyj74

My kids go to their friends for tea and come back saying that so and so has their own computer in their room or a flat screen tv or a playroom full of good stuff. I then tell them to look around and see what they have and compare it to some other children who are worse off than them. That there are children that have never even had a holiday never mind been abroad, or dont have sweets and treats like they do.
I hope that they are being brought up to realise that if you want something you have to earn it rather than have a paddy to get it.
I think the odd day out or treat is much more appreciated when its rare and not expected. Even the odd treat to mcds which is a very rare occasion.

I really dont think the kids are losing out on much. I can get away with it at the moment as they dont need branded clothes or the latest techno gadget/game. Its more me that is giving up things in order to have a better life when they are older.
I keep thinking holidays as and when I see a bargain, spur of the moment trips etc Only 8-10 years to wait. Hope I dont peg it before then!! :eek:

gerbiljo

Isn't being a parent difficult, and I've only just started. I think it is important that children are brought up to learn money isn't easily come by, I think it's easy for children to see material things and want more, thats human nature, but we cannot all have everything we want and probably the more you have the more you want. I think paying off your mortgage is a great thing to do if you just spent that money on video games or something that might make the kids happy in the short term but kids grow up and get their own lives and I don't think you are wrong to want your own eventually either. Even though you have a longer period of time to pay off I think you have a good balance and like you say you always go away every year.

I think everyones right its all about balance. I think the longer it takes the more enjoying life is important like BS says u only live once!

Ddraig

Thanks for the tip on one poll by the way.Keep checking up every couple of hours and get a few more now.
Dont fret about the kids Pammy.You should know by now.Tis not a mums job to be right in the eyes of the children,lol.

Caroline73_2

I think it's really healthy for children to know how much things cost and understand that you do have to budget.

DS2 (5) sat at the dinner table the other day and asked me for some 'moneys'. I asked him what for and he said he was saving to get his money box full to the 'tippy top' but it was a secret. He later told DH that he was saving to give me the money for our new house but if there was any left he would buy Pokemon cards. I need to work on him a bit

pammyj74

aww thats sweet. My DS who is 7 doesnt like to ask for things, and sometimes when they have a letter come home from school asking for money he will offer to pay it out of his own money. Or he will say do you want me to pay for mufti day etc. It is lovely and of course he never has to pay himself but I love that he has that mindset and is not bothered about spending it on himself.
I just wish I could get them into the mindset of saving rather than have the money burning a hole in their pocket!!

Feel rubbish today as I really thought I had paid the kids panto trip but I have looked back through my statement and cheque book and it seems I hadnt. I was adamant that I had paid it :mad: so thats £28 :eek: plus DDs disco £2 plus mufti for tombola gifts today.
My friend also asked if we wanted to go and watch her dd doing gymnastics show on saturday, that would be another £10.

Onepoll has been good today although I just did one and got to the end and it said I hadnt answered q3 and 4 and took all my answers off, I couldnt be bothered to do it again!
did a maximile 350pts too.

Ddraig

I tried doing that 350 one,but something was playing up and kept replaying the first two questions over.I gave up.
Been hard at it today.Bit stressed with kids being home with snow being bad.Im going to try and get in tomorrow I think.Dont know how.If its that bad I can turn back,and at least I can say Ive tried.

I dont know what Ive got to pay out.Cant remember.Nativity tickets,and cant remember if I paid for school Christmas dinner or not.Really in a bad mood to say its Christmas.

pammyj74

I know it all adds up this next couple of weeks, just realised I have forgotten someone I have to buy for as well
Am off tomorrow unexpectedly as DS has a school concert in the morning and I felt I had to go. This has meant that rather than have the 5 hours OT from last week I have had the day off instead. So a bit costly to me but his dad wouldnt make the effort even though he is on afternoon shifts. It really annoys me but he says he cant afford the petrol. All this skint malarky is really peeing me off. I dont believe it for a second. I reckon he is saving for a big holiday or something! or a new car the kids keep going on about. grrr.

SmlSave

Sending you a HUG pammy

Remember, what goes around comes around and one day he'll wonder why his kids don't visit him

Ddraig

Oh yep.is them people who wonder why they are old and lonely when they never give ,just take.

Skint is annoying.This weather is annoying and I am stressed.I am just in a no good mood and cant shift it.Think its time for the antidepressants to come back.Really didnt want to.