How old before i can leave my kids on their own?

jellyhead

it's great that you managed to get a job with school friendly hours - all the jobshares i looked at were a full half week, so childcare needed for 3 mornings/2 afternoons etc.

i think it's really sweet that your children get on so well, am i just soppy? lol!

the leisure centre here does full days for 8 and over, shame you don't have that where you are. could you pack a bag for your children with things for them to play with or read? are they all just left in a huddle around a playstation? i think that's pretty much what the place my sister uses does, although they have the garden etc. in warm weather. her boys love it there but they are younger than yours.

looby75

jellyhead wrote:

(by the way looby i've been getting grief this week for not working, and i'm a married stay at home mum, it seems there's always somebody ready to criticise the way you bring up your children no matter what the circumstances).

.

Fair point! I got all that grief when my husband was still here too...it just seems more people seem more willing to voice it now I'm a single parent

looby75

busymumof3 wrote:

The son of my sisters neighbour managed to set his trousers alight whilst left alone for an evening. He was playing with a lighter and then hid the burns from his mum and dad for a whole day until they noticedit . I bet they felt good about themselves.

Unless that child was supervised 24/7 it could have happened whether the parents were at home or not. He could have got hold of the lighter and set his trousers on fire in his bedroom. I think the fact his parents weren't at home when it happened is pretty irrelevant. What is more relevant is that he was daft enough to be messing around with the lighter!

TIGs

looby75 wrote:

Fair point! I got all that grief when my husband was still here too...it just seems more people seem more willing to voice it now I'm a single parent

I often feel very proud of myself how i manage to look after the kids, work 16 hours a week, manage to take them to dancing,cubs,football and whatever else they decide to do. You should be proud too as well as every other single parent be them mums or dads. We all do the best we can for our kids and we should all be very proud of ourselves.

:T :T :T Hurray for single parents :T :T :T

jellyhead

absolutely, it's hard work, i was single for a while before i met my husband.

it was my sister's boyfriend giving me grief about not having a job, no idea why but he seems to have a bee in his bonnet about me having a degree and not working. i said that i will work when the baby's older, i'll get a job in a shop or mcdonalds etc. but he said that was just silly. strange man, a job's a job and i'll take anything with child-friendly hours. he didn't understand me not wanting a career type job, or at least not wanting one until my children are older. it's my choice though, fair enough some women want a career and we all do what suits us, we're all fabulous and praiseworthy whatever we do

beautifulgorgeous_2

My dd is 17 and a young leader at brownies. she would love to spend a day or two with girls their age doing crafts and playing games to earn some extra cash. They could stay at home and be safe.

doddsy

TIGS - glad you've decided on a plan, and I am sure you are doing a really good job, that seems obvious from what you have posted.
My two girls are also very close although 3.5 years age difference. I didn't leave them alone when they were younger, not because they didn't get on, or I couldn't trust them, but because if there was an accident (and lets face it , they can happen if mum and dad are there too) I didn't want the oldest to bear any guilt or upset.
All the best
Doddsy

elona

Jellyhead

It sounds as if sisters boyfriend is not too bright, or else very blinkered and dogmatic in his thinking.

Bet you are glad he is not yours - lol

Kimberley

jellyhead wrote:

it was my sister's boyfriend giving me grief about not having a job, no idea why but he seems to have a bee in his bonnet about me having a degree and not working. i said that i will work when the baby's older, i'll get a job in a shop or mcdonalds etc. but he said that was just silly. strange man, a job's a job and i'll take anything with child-friendly hours. he didn't understand me not wanting a career type job, or at least not wanting one until my children are older. it's my choice though, fair enough some women want a career and we all do what suits us, we're all fabulous and praiseworthy whatever we do

It's got nothing to do with him :rolleyes: We all do our best and if other people don't like the way we bring our kids up then thats their problem not ours. Life is too short to worry about what others think. It's hard work being a single parent and if leaving a 13 year old on their own for a few hours means you can earn money to put bread on the table, then that is not a crime. Your child will not hold it against you nor will he/she grow up troubled, as long as they are loved, well cared for and happy then that is all that matters.

Some kids are bought up better in some single parent families then some who have both parents at home.

Single parents are damned if they do or damned if they don't, but those people who slag us off should really watch us at home with our kids rather then assuming this and that.

Most of us are not single parents by choice and people should start realising that as hard as it may be, we can do just as a good job as two parent families.

looby75

I don't want to get all gushy or anything but this is the first community I've found in a long long time that has such a sensible down to earth, mixed opinion, group of people posting on it.

I've posted on lots of message boards over the last 7 years or so and they have all had their high and low points which have been apparent pretty much from the start. So far I haven't found any real problems with MSE forums in the way of pettiness or back stabbing . Everyone I've come across so far has been able to state their POV intelligently and has been willing to listen to other posters arguments without taking it personally.

This thread has highlighted that. In all my time online I've never seen a working mum/stay at home mum/childcare/benefits discussion go on for so long without resorting to a total slanging match. :T :T :T

Ok public announcement over.......I'm off to find yet more intelligent people to talk to on here :A