How old before i can leave my kids on their own?

TIGs

busymumof3 wrote:

As I understood the post, the care is available, it is more a matter of the child saying it is boring or whatever. My response would be "I'm sorry but mum has to work and you have to go"

I just want to make it clear i would NEVER put my kids at risk i live for my kids, i go to work for my kids so they can have all the things other kids have,and this thread was only started as it was something i was considering/ thinking about this didn't mean i was definately going to do it.

I honestly believe my kids are sensilble enough to be left on their own but after advice from some really helpful people on here i have decided to send them to kidsclub for a little longer. I was looking for alternatives not pandering down to my kids cos they get bored cos like all mums i want my kids to be happy in what they do.

Poppy9

jellyhead wrote:

elise i read somewhere that the rate of child murder etc. hasn't risen in 30 years, it's just that there's more media coverage nowadays and we're more likely to hear of events that aren't local, children are no less safe now than they used to be when i was a lass.

I don't wish to be argumentative JH but I think children are at more risk but incident rates haven't risen because we are far more restrictive in their freedom so the opportunity doesn't present.

There are more cars on the road so the risk of an accident is higher. Baddies are also more likely to cover greater areas with cars.

As most of us adults have posted we enjoyed a great amount of freedom & responsibilty in our youth. We found our own friends and made independent arrangements for the day. Indeed I remember going to a park 20 min walk away in the morning and returning for lunch then back out again and home for tea. No mobiles, no money for the phone box, no sweets, no drink incase we were thirsty. Sometimes one of us came home in tears after falling off the spidersweb onto the concrete floor and scraping our leg. I know I was in primary school with this freedom. I walked to & from the school bus alone crossing a road with no lollypop lady/man.

I struggle to find a balance with teaching my DD responsibilty and awareness. I don't think I am doing her any favours to keep her too mollycoddled and protective but I worry about the worst happening.

Last week on the strike day they were off school. She wanted to go to the cinema with 2 friends. Like previous times I took them and made sure they had their tickets. Usually though I get their popcorn and go into the cinema to make sure they are seated etc before leaving (she has her mobile with her) to wander the shops before returning. This time though they wanted to be left in the lobby to get their own popcorn and go through to the screen themselves. I felt very proud of myself that I let them. I was tempted to sneak in to see if they were seated comfortably though;)

Poppy9

TIGs wrote:

......i have decided to send them to kidsclub for a little longer.

Have you tried asking your employer if you could work fixed days through school holidays i.e same no. of hours but over say 2 full days could you arrange a swop with another friend for 1 of them. I have done this in the past and it's worked really well. You may find there is a fellow employee in the same predicament as you so you could effectively job share for the school holidays.

busymumof3

Hi TIGs

Glad youv'e reached a decision about what to do. Wasn't getting at you personally. I just happen to feel quite strongly about this issue. It may seem as if I have it cushy being at home with the kids but believe me with three to entertain at the start of a fortnight's holiday it doesn't seem like it! I am also in the position of not having anyone to help out with the kids - only grandparent has dementia so it would be lovely to have someone to leave them with occasionally.

As I said, glad its decided now

sammyy

TIG, Maybe you could have a word with the organisers of the kids club and see if they can have some more interesting activities on the go.If they are taking kids your kids ages then they should be doing enough to keep them occupied really,afterall you're paying enough for the privilige.

diamondcatz

Just a thought for what it's worth have you been on the surestart page and checked what out of school/holiday clubs will be available might be something different you weren't aware of or some chilminders take the older ones for holiday/emergency care and the people I know who do this can tailor the activities to suit them. They may prefer the 1 to 1. Also a practical solution as when you have inset days etc they will if poss slot them in. Worth a look. good luck.It's difficult at that age I know

Quackers

TIGs wrote:

I just want to make it clear i would NEVER put my kids at risk i live for my kids, i go to work for my kids so they can have all the things other kids have,and this thread was only started as it was something i was considering/ thinking about this didn't mean i was definately going to do it.
.

And no-one thought any different It's obvious to me that it was something that was running through your mind and you just wanted some opinions and thoughts from other people.

Its good to know that we can come on here and get other peoples viewpoints to help with the difficult decisions us parents have to make. Its hard sometimes making decisions alone and discussing them here sometimes brings up things we'd have never thought of by ourselves!!

Whatever decision you make I'm sure it will be the right one for you and your family and everything will be fine

TIGs

Poppy9 wrote:

Have you tried asking your employer if you could work fixed days through school holidays i.e same no. of hours but over say 2 full days could you arrange a swop with another friend for 1 of them. I have done this in the past and it's worked really well. You may find there is a fellow employee in the same predicament as you so you could effectively job share for the school holidays.

hiya

I do work fixed days i work Monday to Wednesday half nine till three, i only work the 16 hours i need for tax credit so i have at least two days at home with them during the school holiday and it is already a sort of job share as someone else who is also a single mum works Wednesday to Friday the same.
As i work with handicapped adults i can't just take time off as their has to be so many staff in for the centre to run safely.

code-a-holic

Why not giving it a trial run - start off at a hour and se how it goes and extend gradually when conveniant.
I was first left in charge at home when i was 12, looking after my 10yr old brother and 3 yr old sister. It was in the evnings for a few hours after we had all gone to bed.
Although it worked perfectly for us. I dont feel i could leave my kids in charge of a 3 yr old once they are 12! (my eldest is 3 now and i would not be comfortable leaving him with a 12 yr old!)

looby75

busymumof3 wrote:

HI Spendless
My post was a general one and not directly in response to the opening one. Someone had mentioned leaving their child alone to go for a coffee and others to go shopping etc. I simply feel it is not acceptable under any circumstances at the kind of ages mentioned.

That would be me I sometimes pop round to my friends house (less than 2 mins away) after my son is tucked up in bed fast asleep, leaving him in the house with my extremely mature 13 yr old. She has a mobile as do I, she knows the landline number of my friends house and she knows not to open the door to anyone while I am out. Now maybe you wouldn't be comfortable leaving your children in those circumstances, and that is your right. BUT I am happy, knowing my daughter, knowing the village I live in (very very low crime rate) and knowing my lovely neighbours to leave her "babysitting" for half an hour. Every child is different and that is why (according to social services) that there is no set age for baby sitting in this country just a guideline.