Husbands ex-wife is living the life of luxury!

catenorfolk

But at the end of the day, I bet when the boys are 19 and if someone asks would you rather have had £20,000 or dad being with you, I can pretty much guarantee they would rather have forfeited every penny just to have dad!

Its tough now, but look years ahead.

GPBF x[/QUOTE]

But then if the father is not visiting because he has to help support his kids then he isnt a very good dad, but i dont think that was a point raised on the original post anyway so is irrelevant!

Gloomy_Past_Bright_Future

catenorfolk wrote: »

But at the end of the day, I bet when the boys are 19 and if someone asks would you rather have had £20,000 or dad being with you, I can pretty much guarantee they would rather have forfeited every penny just to have dad!

Its tough now, but look years ahead.

GPBF x

But then if the father is not visiting because he has to help support his kids then he isnt a very good dad, but i dont think that was a point raised on the original post anyway so is irrelevant![/QUOTE]

I didn't mean dad just visiting them, I meant they would forfeit the money to have dad living with them. The daughter they have together has so much more than the boys the OP just doesn't realise it, its not all about money where children are concerned.

catenorfolk

That so true, for many families, but then that isnt really relevant because if the father was still living with them this topic wouldnt have arisen!! lol
I would have preferred to stay married in a happy relationship and not have to fight my ex to support our children. I really dont think anyone wants this!!

catenorfolk

And my ex has a partner that object to the fact i get £20 a week for two kids. She feels that I should manage my monies better!!! lol bearing in mind that I work and bring up the kids and do all their washing and running around and all the other chores that we have with kids. I wish i could find myself a lovely wealthy guy that loves me and my kids and wants to help me have a life we all envy

kelloggs36

chase maintenance from your ex for your daughter - he too has a moral and financial responsibility towards her - that is where your anger should be, not at the PWC who has done nothing wrong, and your partner is doing the right thing by his children. Be proud of him, but direct your anger at your ex who pays nothing - try and force him to!!!!!!!

catenorfolk

Well said Kellogs

Blonde_Bint

I thought my post was a great one, does no one agree obviously not or you would have agreed. no pedigree you lot thats the problem lol;) you listen to old mother binty this time she got it right

catenorfolk

Blonde_Bint wrote: »

lol. I get where you are coming from with this. OK let me give it a shot. How about looking at it like this. Just like everyone says you and your nrp are paying your fair share of the childrens up keep but the ex doesnt need it so shes saving it for them, look at it like this in years to come the children are going to have this money FROM YOU for something they want or need this is your contribution. This is the point in time you will feel good about your contribution

and dont even think about what she does or doesnt have doesnt make any difference to your life one way or the other what she has in her life doesnt change yours one bit, so feel good that your contributing to your (step) children :j

Thats a better way to look at it, thats the way I see it, how does that make you feel? any better. dont boil and stew you should feel good about it. I understand the 2 that live with you cant have a stash in 10 yrs or so I get that but perhaps one day you could put some money away for them or encourage them to open accounts and save their pocket money eg if they can save 5 pounds pocket money mummy will match it but only to put in their bank to save up for something special :j

YOU SHOULDNT FEEL BAD YOUR DOING A GOOD THING but I understand completely where you are coming from. but feel GOOD about it while your doing it. x

Very good way to put it, well done

Blonde_Bint

Thank you, I like to know when I got it right If i'm only told when I get it wrong then I only know how to say the wrong thing lol

smug your lovely you are

julesuk71

Thank you all for your comments, some nice, some not so!! But you all have your opinion and that is why I posted - I needed to hear it from people who dont know me

Thank you Blonde Bint - you hit the nail on the head, and after talking with my mum yesterday, she gave me the same advice too!! So, now I am going to look at it this way - when the boys are older and are asking Dad for uni fees, a new car, etc.. etc... he can then turn around and say that they have savings for that, that he has contributed to.

There are lots of maintenance issues regarding my older daughter that I do not wish to go into, but I really cannot get any maintenance for her. My husband has taken her on as his own and is looking into adopting her officially. I feel REALLY blessed to have found such a wonderful man who loves her as much as his own.

I dont feel jealous about the ex having more money etc... etc... I just dont like that fact that my girls get ALOT less than the boys, and my husband bleats on about them all being equal - yes, equal in his heart, but definately not financially! - but I just have to get over it , I know!

Thanks again for all your messages, sorry if I rubbed anyone up the wrong way, Im really not a bad person, just had a few issues in my head that I needed to sort out!!!!

Right, onwards and upwards - time to be happy