Husbands ex-wife is living the life of luxury!

Zara33

:eek: OMG you mean she ain't spending all that child support on special brew, shocking stuff!

She married a wealthy man and you married her ex, move on if not it will eat you up.

kazwookie

I would suggest you start looking at the father of your first child to cough up, to help bring up this child.

You have said he doesn't want to know, well maybe the CSA will make him

stokefan

Zara33 wrote: »

:eek: OMG you mean she ain't spending all that child support on special brew, shocking stuff!

She married a wealthy man and you married her ex, move on if not it will eat you up.

come on we all know thats exactly what every pwc does :D;)

DUTR

kazwookie wrote: »

I would suggest you start looking at the father of your first child to cough up, to help bring up this child.

You have said he doesn't want to know, well maybe the CSA will make him

CSA make him know or make him contribute?

poet123

£300 pcm is not a huge amount for your husbands half share of bringing up 2 boys. It is fair that he pays it regardless of whether the parent they live with needs it for day to day expenses. She is being quite fair in saving the moneyfor them imo. Your problem lies with the equity between the 2 girls, well I assume that the rest of your husbands salary goes toward their upkeep? so they are not losing out in that respect, they are losing out because the same amount is not saved for them. One of them is losing out because her father is not as responsible as your new husband, and presumsbly because you have not insisted the CSA extract money from him.

Do that now, and maybe you can save that money for 1 child and somehow over theyears begin a savings pot for the other child you have together.

This issue is not a problem, it is you who has the problem with the fact that his exwife married into money. You have to move past that and get the monies due to your daughter.

sdooley

are you being unjust? depends on how much you and your husband earn?

If you're on 20K between you, then £300/month is a hell of a lot and in the circumstances you should maybe discuss reducing it with your other half. Not fair to deny your own kids when other half's are well provided for.

If you're on 40K each, then even if they have more dosh it's not right to begrudge your other half contributing.

In between is a sliding scale - up to you really but you can't help how you feel. Even if you acknowledge to your other half nothing might be able to be done, it can only help to talk to him about how he feels.

Zara33

stokefan wrote: »

come on we all know thats exactly what every pwc does :D;)

of course we do lol, i'm surprised social services haven't been round to see me yet *hic*

Blonde_Bint

julesuk71 wrote: »

I just have to get this off my chest, so thought I would see if I am being unjust in the way I am feeling!!

My husband has 2 young boys from a previous marriage, it was an amicable split between them, she had the house and contents!! She gave him £80,000 to help him 'start again'!

To cut a long story short, we met a little while later, brought a house together, had a baby (who is now 2), oh and then got married! I also have a daughter from a previous relationship (no maintance is paid - as father doesnt want to know!!)

So there are 4 children in total!!

Ok, so this is where I get bitter - his ex wife remarried a guy who is doing very well for himself financially, they both have posh cars, personalised number plates, holiday's abroad, weekends away all the time, lovely house etc.... etc... oh -and cosmetic surgery!!!!!!!!!!!

We pay her £300 per month for the boys - this apparently goes straight into a savings account for them - she doesnt even need the money!!!

We have the boys over at our's quite alot, we try to have days out where we can (very expensive with 4 children!). We dont have holidays together , again too expensive!

I am just sooooooooooooo upset to know that in 10 or so years time, those boys will have a nice sum of £20,000 each ! Any our girls with have NOTHING!!! :mad:

My husband wants to class the children as the same - but I cant see that this is going to be very fair when this time comes!!!

What I want to know is, am I being unjust in how I am feeling, or should I just try and forget it and just live with it?!?

Thanks!!!

lol. I get where you are coming from with this. OK let me give it a shot. How about looking at it like this. Just like everyone says you and your nrp are paying your fair share of the childrens up keep but the ex doesnt need it so shes saving it for them, look at it like this in years to come the children are going to have this money FROM YOU for something they want or need this is your contribution. This is the point in time you will feel good about your contribution

and dont even think about what she does or doesnt have doesnt make any difference to your life one way or the other what she has in her life doesnt change yours one bit, so feel good that your contributing to your (step) children :j

Thats a better way to look at it, thats the way I see it, how does that make you feel? any better. dont boil and stew you should feel good about it. I understand the 2 that live with you cant have a stash in 10 yrs or so I get that but perhaps one day you could put some money away for them or encourage them to open accounts and save their pocket money eg if they can save 5 pounds pocket money mummy will match it but only to put in their bank to save up for something special :j

YOU SHOULDNT FEEL BAD YOUR DOING A GOOD THING but I understand completely where you are coming from. but feel GOOD about it while your doing it. x

Gloomy_Past_Bright_Future

OK, in 10 years time the boys will have £20,000 each, that makes them what 9?

So in 10 years time the daughter you have together will then be 12, and then *should*, get the £300 per month that your OH was paying for the boys, so that is £3600 per year for 7 years (if she was to get the same till she was 19), 3600 * 7 = £25,200!!

She ends up better off!, and your daughter with your ex, you need to chase him for the money.

But at the end of the day, I bet when the boys are 19 and if someone asks would you rather have had £20,000 or dad being with you, I can pretty much guarantee they would rather have forfeited every penny just to have dad!

Its tough now, but look years ahead.

GPBF x

catenorfolk

When you met him i am sure you knew what he was paying towards the care of his kids, so you had a choice then. The fact that you are struggling with another child is not the PWC's problem. Anyway if your ex doesnt pay towards the upkeep of your own child, then why should you expect the pwc's new partner to upkeep her children when they have got a dad already that can help support them. she is just very lucky that someone has taken her and the boys on and is able to afford to give the boys a life that we may all dream of. And the fact that the mother saves the money for her shows what a thoughtful mum she is!!. Green eyed monster comes to mind!!!!