DFWette - Bills, Thrills and Belly Aches

Birdie85

Oooh, lovely treat Cinny! I bet that one hour will turn into 2 though!

Oooh, with any luck we'll be leaving at 2.30! I hope we do, I want to go home NOW! And it's kind of sad but I'm looking forward to sitting in the back of the car and reading! I'm pretty sure OH and I will be reading tonight, he's all hyped up on Harry Potter! He wands to go to a forest and pick a 'wand'! He's such a 10-year-old sometimes!

wendz86

My parents and OHs have never met either. I think our Dads would get on but our Mums are totally the opposite. My Mum is all mumsy and sweet etc and his Mum is the opposite, if anyone watches eastenders shirley reminds me of her lol. OHs parents aren't together and don't get on brilliantly either which is obviously a problem.

well done on the xmas pressies, you are really organised! I won't be starting mine till November,

Dinah93

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

Eh? Do you mean he'd be a great form of transport if it ever stops raining? Or am I missing a cycling subtlety?

Exercise if it ever stops raining. I'm feeling rubbish this afternoon, headache, streaming nose and sore throat, so excuse my gibberish.

Dinah93

So, read the whole thread at once, comments from start to finish:

1) No wonder you were feeling snowed under hon, £10 a week spends was madness, I see you're still allocating this, but seem to always be going over which is a big sign either your budget is too tight, or you need to get harsh and start drawing out the cash at the start of the week and locking the card in a drawer until the next week. Personally I'd go to £35 a week spends and £25 savings, instead of £10 and £50 and then you can increase your savings again once you've paid off your parents. I don't think you have a lack of self control as you seem to think, just that your budget is not sustainable long term, as you're not allowing yourself any freedom.

2) I know I've mentioned it before but your budget is really tight, if you are planning to move in with your OH have you conisdered getting a second job or going full time? Even on a £300 per month rent, with bills and on absolutely minimal cheap food (ie all packed lunches, meat only 3 times a week etc) you're looking at at least £340-£400 per person per month.Thats before any debts, mobile phones, petrol, insurance or car payments. I can't see how you'll manage it until you do tbh. If you had an extra £100 coming in a week you could have an extra £50 savings and £50 to spend and actually have a budget you have a chance of sticking to. Or are you doing that accountancy course this year which will increase earnings potential in the long run? I understand your job is in the family firm and they can't up the hours, but maybe you'll need to consider taking on a second job to get a bit closer to full-time hours and have a bit more money. A job somewhere else may be exactly what you need to feel more confident too, I was very shy until I took a job in a pub, rubbish job, but made me a much more dynamic, confident person, and the best thing I ever did.

3) I notice from a lot of your posts you seem to have issues with anxiety and a kind of drive to be the absolute best, but then a complete fear of failing at that which makes you panic, so maybe trying to set up the cupcake venture isn't the right route for you, as you might find it too stressfull? You seem to have got right up to trying it, then reality of what you were doing kicked in and you paniced it wouldn't work. If you feel able to handle it heck I'm 100% supporting you, just don't want you to put yourself under too much pressure.

4) I know you love your Cath Kidson Cinny, have you considered going on Etsy? I prefer the uniqueness of the vintage and kitch items on there, Kidson is absolutely everywhere you turn, plus some of them are a lot cheaper!

5) I thought you had to be 14 or something to have the HPV vaccine - can anyone get it? Also is it only to protect against that infection picked up through sex, ie I only need to get it if I break up with NIM?!

6) Can't believe you spent £17 on Shampoo!!!! Mine is £1 from Avon and its fantastic! No postage either as a lady at work does it, soak with hot oil (about 6 treatments per £1 bottle, and I have a lot of hair!) then double wash with the 2 in 1. I used to use the keristase stuff, which was fantastic, but about £45 for a shampoo and conditioner, and this is very nearly as good. Get the Body shop face mask tubs, about £7 for a tub, does about 10 masks, all natural and fair trade, lovely.

7) You've made me want iced gems now. Haven't had them in years and sooo not diet friendly.

8) Can't believe you prefer the south! I've never been to Doncaster but I hate the south, feel like its mile upon mile of bland, concrete jungle with the odd tree thrown in for good measure. Admittedly the south coast is nice, and over towards Devon, but the South East, you couldn't pay me enough to have to live there! We live on the edge of the north york moors, I actually really like the fact that Teesside has such a bad rep because actually there are some beautiful parts and I don't want Southerners finding out and moving up here and making it all expensive! I'd love to have a holiday cottage in the lakes one day, without a doubt my favourite place I've ever been.

9) Don't think you're average for liking Take That rather than Nine Inch Nails, honestly the amount of 'rebellious' teenagers liking metal and wearing black makes that much more mainstream than knowing how to bake a cake or having proper manners nowadays. In fact I think you're being more risky by saying you like an uncool group. Trust me, as a Christian teenager I was seen as much more wierd than anyone with a pierced eyebrow and pink hair!

10) Is this where the diet sinners hang out and talk about pizza?! You know now I know about the thread you can't pretend to be all saintly if your sig should really be reading -2/14

11) Be very, very careful of taking on car repayments if they involve him having to change his lifestyle in other ways. For one, he won't be able to afford to move out with you if its that tight already. For two, we said this with the gym and it just doesn't work - you still go out and just end up going over budget and not having as much to pay off debts.

12) I think you should do clothes for the 100 days Cinny, it seems to be the area you have most difficulty controlling yourself with, but its also a huge amount of money you could save. Plus if you manage my challenge you can treat yourself to clothes in your new size at the end!

13) If you're thinking of this as a joint car in a year, realistically its not the right car for you. It's not a car to learn to drive in, its quite big, insurance will be very, very high for a new driver and you won't be able to afford it. Driving is best done sooner rather than later, so you can build up some no claims and what have you and also if and when you have a family you can actually take them to school or go to the shops without rellying on OH. If you are both serious about moving in together he needs a car that is economical and in a low insurance group, not something a bit fancy.

14) Confused Cinny, how is it your 20month anniversary, I thought you'd been together 5 years?

15) Tete, if you enjoyed the book of 'My Sisters Keeper', you won't like the film. They took away the twists, the plot, the pace, everything! The movie ending is hollywood simplicity, the book ending is moving and intellegent imo.

16) Not in anyway wanting to make you feel bad Cinny, but does it not worry you how since getting the credit card you've gone from saving each week to 'won't be able to save until the end of August'? Now I don't think this is really down to you, simply that you want to do more things, and by no means extravagant things, than your wages allow. And to be honest you should be able to have a little weekend away and buy a peg bag if you want to, life isn't meant to be suffered through! Reading this diary in one sitting kind of scares me as someone who has lived away from the nest before and knows the cost, that if things are so tight now, something major has to change to enable you and Rich to move out. The fact that you've spent all your spends for the week within hours of getting it kind of shows this, again not to be mean because I think you're fantastic, but I would be absolutely staggered if you can go until next friday without spending anything.

17) My mum has refused to meet NIMs mum, says she sounds like a horrible woman and she doesn't know how she could make small talk with someone who is mean to her daughter for no reason! So, not much chance of most of them meeting tbh!

So, all caught up - no wonder my thread has been all quiet lately!

Tete_en_l'Air

Dinah I think you've missed your calling, you should be a life coach! Bless your mum sticking up for you against NIMs

zigmeister

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

Dinah I think you've missed your calling, you should be a life coach!

I agree! You'll make a great Mum

Cinny91

Crikey Dinah! You got an actual out loud 'oh my god' before I even read that reply! I have to take my reply into Word to type it out.

Dinah93 wrote: »

3) I notice from a lot of your posts you seem to have issues with anxiety and a kind of drive to be the absolute best, but then a complete fear of failing at that which makes you panic.

You've hit the nail on the head! That was a big thing with the cupcake stall, but then even if I didn't suffer with anxiety I don't think I'd would have been able to do it. Still, I have the stall at the old folks home at the start of next month, which is properly all systems go.

Dinah93 wrote: »

5) I thought you had to be 14 or something to have the HPV vaccine - can anyone get it?

You did, I think, I just got a letter out of the blue for the vaccine. I think it covers strain 15 and 16? You could contact your surgery and ask though, worst they can say is no!

Dinah93 wrote: »

6) Can't believe you spent £17 on Shampoo!!!!

Shhh! I know, it was a bad move. Even more so that I got sent 1.5ltr of the stuff, not helped by the fact I couldn't get through to them at all about returns. I'm completely switching to Avon once I've shifted all the Tigi stuff (which could be next summer!) But when I bought it, thinking I'd actually get a duo, it worked out much cheaper per ml than high street stuff. That's my excuse!

Dinah93 wrote: »

8) Can't believe you prefer the south!

I think it's just because I don't live there, and when I do go I go to the very pretty parts! North is just as lovely. The midlands is just so... boring! Pretty, but completely dull sometimes.

Dinah93 wrote: »

10) Is this where the diet sinners hang out and talk about pizza?! You know now I know about the thread you can't pretend to be all saintly if your sig should really be reading -2/14

Pizza?! Nooo, must of been a typo. I meant to say 'salad and grilled chicken breast' I'm sure.

Dinah93 wrote: »

12) I think you should do clothes for the 100 days Cinny, it seems to be the area you have most difficulty controlling yourself with, but its also a huge amount of money you could save. Plus if you manage my challenge you can treat yourself to clothes in your new size at the end!

You've talked me into it! I think I have a right list now - Clothes, Cosmetics, Perfumes, Chocolate and Toiletries.. what am I going to buy?!

Dinah93 wrote: »

14) Confused Cinny, how is it your 20month anniversary, I thought you'd been together 5 years?

Offically it's 20 months, we've known each other for 5 years and dated on and off. I managed to pin him down in 2007!

Dinah93 wrote: »

16) Not in anyway wanting to make you feel bad Cinny, but does it not worry you how since getting the credit card you've gone from saving each week to 'won't be able to save until the end of August'?

It does, but then at the same time it doesn't (confusing I know) The balance on it is completely for my parents birthdays and 25th anniversary. Which only works out as £30 for each thing, so when I look at it like that it isn't bad at all! But then problem is that I'm not just paying my share off (if I was it would be paid off next week) but I'm paying my sisters share off too as we aren't *too* sure when she'll get paid next, and I just want this cleared as fast as I can otherwise I'd leave it until she could pay it off herself. It's a pain but my parents are worth it, so I don't mind cutting back in other places (admittedly, not so well this week)

Dinah93 wrote: »

Reading this diary in one sitting kind of scares me as someone who has lived away from the nest before and knows the cost, that if things are so tight now, something major has to change to enable you and Rich to move out. The fact that you've spent all your spends for the week within hours of getting it kind of shows this, again not to be mean because I think you're fantastic, but I would be absolutely staggered if you can go until next friday without spending anything.

I haven't spent all my spends.. I've spent about 4 times it! The only problem this weeks spends were it was gift buying. Both things were on sale so it was more worth while getting them now then when they go back up to full price/sell out, or at least that's what I'm telling myself.
As for when me and Richieboy move out, we talked it over properly and we want to be bringing in 1k each before we move out, so plans are on hold until we do! OH has just started his training at work so he should be up to 1k in afew years, and I'm planning on doing the accounts course this year, then once that's finshed (in about 2yrs) I should be earning about the same. It's just a matter of us both slugging on until we're earning more, we'll get there!

And go your mum for standing up for you!

Thanks for your long post though! I agree with Tete, you need to be a life coach! Made me think about things abit differently. If anything it just makes me want to get this bloody credit card paid off so I can get back on top of things even more.

On another topic, just done my Boots diets, taken in 786kcals today (13.5g of fat) and burnt off 572 kcal. That's before tea though! Not been hungry at all though which is weird.

ETA: Birdie, your OH sounds so cute with the Harry Potterness! It can get a bit worrying though, when OH read the Twilight books I got a call from him one night and he didn't even say hello just 'I've been narrating my life like I'm in Twilight!' sempt so chuffed with himself, then decided he wanted to be a vampire. It's my fault, I bought him the book.

Dinah93

Feeling appauling, apparently I've been talking complete gibberish for the last 2 hours (see cycling comment earlier, but worse), but had to come on to check you weren't mad at me that I'd been harsh when I didn't mean to be. Did tell NIM you spent £17 on shampoo though and he literally fell off the bed. Good plan on the £1k each a month thing, I think you'd be fine on that if rent is only £300ish, so it'll be a small place with low bills, council tax etc.

Cinny91

Dinah I could never think you were being mean! Hope you're feeling better soon. Sorry if NIM hurt anything on his fall. If it helps any my hair smells like peppermint rock!

Feeling glum over money, way overspent today and have that sickly feeling I haven't felt in ages. Just keep telling myself, I'll get paid again next Friday and can start fresh.
Thinking of listening to OH for a change and taking a little break from the MSE forums, then I can spend all the free hours that I won't be on here drawing up new plans, sorting out next months spreadsheets and getting properly back on top of everything ready for the new month! Ho-hum!

When we move out we'll be moving into one of my families properties, so rent will be £50 a week, which works out at £220 a month I think?!

Dinah93

Do you find you can focus off the forums? I find I don't really think about my money when I don't have a sig to update or have anyone to tell if I buy things! Maybe go off the forums except for your own diary?