I do try to be happy

pocketrocket_2

Hi yes I did have a face to face chat, at first I could not speak at all because I had so much to say if that makes sense? I didnt want to be there in the end I just wanted to be on my own at home, I felt there is no one to rely on but me, only me who can bring comfort. So all that came of that meeting was that he was so sorry and it was only because he wanted to 'chat' to other women cos he was 'lonely' ! of course im not dumb but I cant bear to keep thinking about it, I cant keep thinking how much of a failure I am in every part of my life.

well that was 2 weeks ago that I had the meeting we have met once again and it was as if nothing had happened and we got close again (not slept with him since find ing he was on net again) it was wonderful to be ok again hold hands, laugh and kiss, all this was last Sun.

Im sitting here now this evening thinking how stupid I am how desperate I must be to pretend to be happy with a guy who went back on the net to search for someone else after we had dated for 1 yr!! he could be sitting at home searching now! im so low again x

MadMac_2

Oh dear, well I'm glad you managed to talk but it doesn't sound like he's done much for your confidence levels. What a useless so and so! Did you think to tell him you are starting to do the same, wonder how that would go down.

Has the situation improved at work yet? At the very least I hope you have been documenting any notable events, just in case you take things further.

Anything that gets you out of the house will do wonders for your self esteem, so consider taking an evening or weekend class in something you are interested in (needlework or car maintenance, doesn't matter!) and do arrange to meet family or friends regularly, even if just for coffee.Make use of the support network you didn't realise you have!

Hopefully you will soon turn the corner and start to leave the black dog behind, x

pocketrocket_2

I have been to see my doctor as everything got on top of me last week so at least that is on record that im stressed in case I cant take life any more and need time off work, I didnt mention my relationship to doctor as I dont want to diminish my work stress in case it goes to a tribunal or something.

Sometimes I think I need to walk away from him and be on my own I think i would be happier in the long run as the fact he needed to go back on the net keeps going over in my mind, he must of had a need otherwise why do it? he cant be that happy with me?

Alot of things he says about it dont fit either I wont go into details but dates etc of when his new profile was written dont seem right.

Im trying to find other work also but in todays climate its not easy!

thanks for listening x

Nixxx

sent you a pm.

x