I do try to be happy

rosered1963

Hi there.

There will always be evil and vile people in the world. I agree with all the other posters' advice. A visit to your docs may be a good idea - it can't hurt. Also, give yourself some tlc - a nice haircut and looking after your skin can make us feel so much better inside as well as out. Bullies can pick up on insecure and vulnerable people, so do whatever it takes to get your confidence back. I don't mean to be shallow, but what about having a night in with a girlfriend and doing makeovers for each other? You are young and should be proud of yourself inside and out.

I am tall and a a size 18 with big boobs! I do stand out in a crowd but I project confidence and if anyone did look at me funny in the street, or say anything, I would just let it go over my head. Who cares what a tiny minority of ignorant pigs say? Take care of yourself and have confidence. Don't tolerate any workplace bullying. The behaviour you have been putting up with makes my blood boil.

MadMac_2

People can be so, so cruel at times and if you are feeling low anyway, you just cannot brush these things off easily.

I can't say much more than has already been said on here, but will say yet again do please document the 'special' treatment you are receiving at work. It is totally unacceptable and if you don't feel able to tell them how unacceptable and inappropriate their treatment of you is, you might consider using a third party to do so - are you a member of a union perhaps?

Please remember that you are just as important, precious and worthwhile as the next person and deserve to be treated as such.

Talking to someone who will listen can be truly invaluable. There is help out there for you.

Please feel free to rant as much as you need to on here, we're here to help if we can, but support you whatever, x

never_enough

I'm so sorry you have to put up with this behaviour. The problem is that if you're feeling miserable you project, that which sets yourself up as more of a target for these pathetic bullies. It's a horrible cycle. There's already been some good advice here, I hope that you're in a position to follow some of it.

I have PCOS & was really scarily hairy. It made me miserable. I had laser hair removal which has made a huge difference. It was expensive, but the benefit on my confidence was worth it.

BitterAndTwisted

Bullies never pick on assertive people who exude self-confidence, just the ones they perceive as weaker than them, that's how brave they are. I think if you were feeling better about yourself and stood up for yourself they just wouldn't dare: they are just flipping cowards. As said before, document everything, keep notes and build a dossier as this will help you if you decide to take it further in the future.

Try and gain strength from your relationship with your partner. See, there is someone in the world who appreciates you and thinks you're wonderful. That's a truly precious gift.

I used to look strange and odd in the past and it is truly awful to experience embarrassment and shame at the way other people choose to behave towards you, but that's their problem, not yours. Tell yourself that you are loved and that you have value to those who care for you. Those workmates are sad and pathetic and you should try and not let them and their cruel and infantile behaviour colour your perception of yourself. Easy to say but hard to do, I know.

I'd definitely go and have a chat with your GP about being bullied at work and the effect it's having on your confidence. It'll be another bit of evidence in your arsenal as well. It's also possible that your GP might be able to refer you to an orthodontist for psychological reasons: be persistent if you think that might be an answer for you.

Every morning, look in the mirror and tell yourself out loud that you are a wonderful, worthwhile person who has value to those who deserve you.

vik6525

I didnt want to read and run, but I just thought Id let you know that you sound like SUCH a lovely person, and your original post moved me to tears.

If you need a chat, or a rant, then PLEASE pm me....


(((hugs)))

Paparika

Get back at the work colleagues and indeed if you have a chance again with the females, point and shout at them, 'oh my god have you seen the size of that spot, looks all pussed up to me, oh that's skanky' or tell them one boob is lopsided.

males, just look at them and ask if their mum got them dressed this morning...


How horrible that people still laugh at others like this. they all sound very childish.

Big hug to you no one person is perfect, if they are don't let them stand by the fire they may melt with the plastic surgery.

Odette

I disagree with the above poster, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, etc. Be the change you want to see in the world, although I agree whoever is being so childish and mean really deserves a taste of their own medicine, thats really just getting down to their level.

Like bitterandtwisted said self confidence is really a tool you need in your arsenal here I would say.

pocketrocket_2

Can I just say thank you to everyone who left a reply to my post. I have been reading them over a few times these past 2 days to give me a boost and it has helped me.

I hate the fact that I had to write it in the first place, I spent the day yesterday with my partner and im finding im not as forth coming when it comes to holding his hand, kissing etc, in a way im punishing myself for being who I am, now I feel guilty for behaving this way yesterday with him as he is so nice to me and I kept making excuses for not going out as I dont exactly feel sexy at the moment.

I do have friends and nice people in my life but sometimes I think if these horrible people can say bad things about me then my friends must also think I look odd at times and I try not to go out, but that has been a long term thing from being a child when the self harm started.

Well all I want to say is im trying, it will be a long time before I give up totally and not go into work, calling in sick is so easy to do but it becomes a vicious cycle where I can become more scared to face the world and stay off work for a longer period.

Take care everyone x

MadMac_2

No doubt you will have good days and bad days, but lets hope the good days start to take over.

You are an eloquent, articulate and intelligent lady - believe in yourself, hold yourself with pride and the confidence will hopefully start to follow.

Take care of yourself too x

BitterAndTwisted

pocketrocket wrote: »

I do have friends and nice people in my life but sometimes I think if these horrible people can say bad things about me then my friends must also think I look odd at times

Honestly, most people have something about their appearance which is odd, even if it's a tiny thing and sometimes that's the one thing about them which makes them attractive: most of my friends are odd-looking and that's part of why they are my friends (joke). No, you're friends and the people in your life who like and respect you don't even think about your appearance for the most part. Once people accept your friendship they accept you as you are, "faults" and all. Very, very few of us in this world are conventionally beautiful and if there were none of us slightly-less beautiful folk around what would the beautiful people have for contrast? They need us more than we need them.