I do try to be happy

Mrs_Boo_Boo

I couldn't just read and run. Agree with all the supportive messages. You are a star and don't forget that. Most people aren't considered attractive in a conventional way but hey who wants to be a clone? false breasts,fake blonde died hair,fake nails etc. We all have a lot to give and beauty comes from within. Confidence is much more attractive in people. I am lucky that I love all my friends for who they are and not what they are. I couldn't give a toss about anything else. If beauty was the only thing in life then 'ugly' people wouldn't get married. Just think lots of people play on their looks but what happens when these fade. so glad I have my personality. Concentrate on developing your confidence and the people who are mean will not even make a dent in it. Think of your inner strength as strong as you can and you can cope with anything. See a life coach or read feel the fear and do it anyway.
A sensitive and caring person like you with has lots to give.
Take care you are a valued member of society.
The way people have acted towards you comes from low self esteem on their part because they have to do someone down to make themselves feel better.Rise above this and it will never get to you again.

quietheart

Just wanted to say you sound like such a good soul, kind heart, good person etc. Such a shame that people like you get targetted by nasty insecure people.
It's their problem not yours, I'd recommend the dummies guide to cognitive behaviourial therapy - when you get in a mindset of negative thinking it's really good to stop your thoughts spiralling out of control.
Don't change!

ameliarate

It is so sad that there are people like this in the world. We must all feel extremely sorry for them because they must be so bitter and twisted inside that they can do such things to hurt someone deliberately.

Look inside yourself and know you are a far better person than them. Stand tall and proud and wither them with a look if they do something like this again.

MrsAnnie

pocketrocket wrote: »

I do have friends and nice people in my life but sometimes I think if these horrible people can say bad things about me then my friends must also think I look odd at times

I'm sure your friends are in your life to make you happy, to be supportive, to lift you up, not to judge your looks and appearance. I think you are being too hard on yourself. I do agree that there is a small majority of strangers that laugh at other peoples expense - but they are a small minority, who are ignorant and insecure and not worth the time of day. Unfortunately they can be very loud, in your face sort of people, but you have to rise above them.


When I was a child, I was with my mum in the supermarket and this lady approched my mum exclaiming how short my mum is. My mum, being the person that she is, very self confident, said right back ' I'd rather be short than rude like you!' The woman looked so ashamed and it wiped the jeer quickly off her face.


I say that to say that I would rather have a physical impefection than have a personality that is mean and offensive.

You need to embrace your inner beauty, this is what your friends see, and it is what truely counts in life. :grouphug:

Pee

There are some great replies here.

I just wanted to say that I feel for you. I was bullied as a child and sometimes it comes back to me and I can get very self consious. The trouble is that if people look inwards at themselves, they see the things which are a small part of how they look and focus on these, making them seem much bigger in their mind.

I got teased for having glasses, all those four eyes jokes. I got contcat lenses at 16 and my life literally changed. It is only in the last few years that I have started wearing my glasses again in public. Do you think people changed their attitude to me because I no longer wore glasses? For ages I did. I think it had more to do with my attitude changing once I was free of the glasses.

So doing something like that - dealing with the facial hair maybe - might help more than it really should, if that makes sense.

If it is everyone else, well, you can't change that. If it is how you view everyone else, you can change that and that can be a lot more empowering.

Please try not to worry about what other people think, easier said than done, those that are worth caring about are not thinking any less of you.

pocketrocket_2

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Bullies never pick on assertive people who exude self-confidence, just the ones they perceive as weaker than them, that's how brave they are. I think if you were feeling better about yourself and stood up for yourself they just wouldn't dare: they are just flipping cowards. As said before, document everything, keep notes and build a dossier as this will help you if you decide to take it further in the future.

Try and gain strength from your relationship with your partner. See, there is someone in the world who appreciates you and thinks you're wonderful. That's a truly precious gift.

I used to look strange and odd in the past and it is truly awful to experience embarrassment and shame at the way other people choose to behave towards you, but that's their problem, not yours. Tell yourself that you are loved and that you have value to those who care for you. Those workmates are sad and pathetic and you should try and not let them and their cruel and infantile behaviour colour your perception of yourself. Easy to say but hard to do, I know.

I'd definitely go and have a chat with your GP about being bullied at work and the effect it's having on your confidence. It'll be another bit of evidence in your arsenal as well. It's also possible that your GP might be able to refer you to an orthodontist for psychological reasons: be persistent if you think that might be an answer for you.

Every morning, look in the mirror and tell yourself out loud that you are a wonderful, worthwhile person who has value to those who deserve you.

Hi After a few days of feeling better with the lovely replies that gave me confidence there has come a bombshell the guy I have been seeing is back on the internet site where I met him under a different ID. My girl friend who is on the site too looking for a partner (he doesnt know her) said he has contacted her and isnt having much luck finding someone. She has seen a picture of him before and can confirm it was him, she said she is feeling very upset for me.

As you can imagine im not very happy and fear if I start crying again I will not stop and perhaps do something stupid he was the only thing keeping going and giving hope to me.

We went out yesterday and nothing seems different he was nice as ever and txd today to say he was missing me.

He took his profile off last year as he said he was happy to do so as he was with me now.

I cant trust him now and dont know what to do. Im so unhappy and feel like nothing will ever go right for me and wonder whats the point? im sitting here thinking I HAVE tried dating and no one was ever right until he came along, the only thing I can think of is maybe I have been distant in the last few weeks because I have been feeling low which I told him about.

Dont know why im posting I know I have to end it and thats what people will say is the best thing to do. Im so jealous of happy people hope its my turn one day. x

MadMac_2

Ah hun, just when things start to look a bit brighter more rubbish comes your way. Oh, so many of us have been there too! I really do send you a big hug and hope you can have a good cry and moan with your friends - do use them as support as you sound like you'll need it.

He isn't the only man out there and you managed to find him so there will be others to follow! Don't blame yourself for his failings, he just isn't worthy of you and that is the truth of it.

Do you feel able to tell him you have found out and see what he has to say for himself? Maybe a bit of honest and open discussion between the pair of you might help to answer some of those burning questions that are bound to hit you in the coming days.

Then decide what you want to do and if the best way forward for you is to cut your losses and move on, then do so with your head held high and make the effort to keep yourself busy and active. Who knows what is around the next corner?

Lots of people may seem happy, but we all have our deep dark secrets, some are just better at hiding them than others!

Keep talking and don't suffer in silence, x

pocketrocket_2

I dont know I want to phone and ask questions, but my friend who he contacted on the site said to leave it until im face to face with him, trouble is I cant wait until then

MadMac_2

I have to agree with your friend, face to face can be so much better as you can see somebody's reactions and body language can speak volumes! Can you not arrange to see him sooner rather than later?

pocketrocket_2

No im afraid I wont see him for ages thats if I can do it in the first place. I have been asleep for hours now trying to numb the pain