I do try to be happy

pocketrocket_2

Hi

Hello im probably just trying to get stuff off my chest and rant but im actually really down. Today I was shopping in Tesco and someone pointed me out to her grown up daughter as they passed me I looked around and they were both giggling at me I got cross at this and started shaking so I just stood there as they disapeared, im not sure why they laughed at me. Its not the first time, once I was boarding a bus and one woman looked at her young child and they both started giggling at me, I know it was because of my teeth as they were a bit goofy looking so I had an expensive set of veneers put in few years ago.

At work a couple of work colleagues once kept faxing pictures of animals to me it didnt actually click straight away but after the 3rd pic I realised they all looked like furry toothy animals (I had bad facial hair which I got rid of too), I rang the colleagues up to ask why they were faxing these but they said they thought I would like the pictures and I didnt want to make a fuss or complain as I would only make things worse and fear my bossed laughing too, another time I heard one work mate say to another that I needed a shave.

I used to self harm a few years ago like bang my head on walls and rub and scrape skin off my face.

Dont get me wrong I do have people who like me but when I get a set back like today out shopping, I feel like hiding from the world and fear my depression coming back. I posted a few days ago about 'marrying a divorced man' and think sometimes he would be better off without me (he has not asked to marry me by the way).

My teeth ar better but not 100% perfect and even one of my bosses sticks his teeth out as a funny face when he speaks to me and only me he doesnt do it to anyone else.

Im a nice person and sometimes want to be horrible to people to make myself feel better I guess, but its not in me to do it.

I did try to commit suicide when my dad died when I was 24 my mum passed away when I was 7. Im late 30's now and just very tired of life sometimes, I was ok but today has set me back. Oh and I walk fuuny bit like a duck so someone once ANNOUNCED over the tannoy at work 'quak quak' as I walked out of his office. There have been many times people have commented on my appearance and walk not just what I have mentioned above.

So you see I may have had enough of coming home and closing the front door only to start crying. I dont beleive in feeling sorry for myself as I know im healthy etc and other people are worse off than me.

Can anyone please give me any tips on how to feel better? Thanks for reading x

BeenieCat

Your colleagues/bosses are bullying you, isn't there anyone more approachable at your workplace? I was thinking someone in HR?

If you feel bad about your appearance then there is things you can do, but it sounds to me like you've had dental work already and i assume you're keeping the facial hair under control?

Could you save up for laser treatment or whatever it is they use for unwanted facial hair?

I know you shouldn't have to do this but it would help your own confidence. I'm sure you feel isolated and lonely due to your parents death, but the way you're feeling why not go to your GP and explain your being bullied which is causing your mental health to suffer, he may refer you for some treatment (for the facial hair, and possibly even the "walking like a duck").

jess1974

I don't know what to say to you, only that there are some very nasty people in this life, you sound like a nice person and you most certainly do not deserve this treatment.

I think your colleagues are very childish and spiteful, i think you feel worse because your mum and dad are no longer with you. I lost my parents 9 years ago, so i know how much it hurts. I am now 35 but still miss them sooo much, its like a permanent ache that never goes.

Please try to ignore these spiteful, thoughtless people, you are a good person who deserves to be happy and loved...

Take care Jess xxxxxx

BeenieCat

I hope one day something inside you might click and you'll turn around to those bullies and show them up in front of their mates, which they would NOT be expecting.

tincat

I'm almost hesitant to believe that this is true, because if it is it shows that there are a *lot* of evil b@st@rds out there who have no consideration for anyone.

However, you sound extremely down, and I would recommend that you document, document, document everything that anyone at work does which could be considered harassment. Every fax, every incident of making fun of you, every time your boss does the teeth thing - keep dates, and a record of who was there.

You may find after a time that you will have enough to bring on a lawsuit for whatever its called when your work makes your working life unbearable, win lots of money, and have the last laugh.

I hope your situation improves and good luck.

pocketrocket_2

Thank you for your replies everyone, I did stand up to one guy at work who decided to poke fun of my teeth (pre dental work) and my feet at the same time, he did it again a second time and I confronted him I said if you do it again I will report you, he kept saying sorry but I never spoke to him again he left the job a few weeks later (nothing to do with me though). I didnt feel great as you might think about confronting him, it only made me miserable that I have to do it in the first place.

The hair is under control I used to bleach it only but now wax and its clear.

I have been to doctor on and off about being depressed mainly about parents death I have never mentioned the bullying.

I wish I had this insight about reported colleagues but never did anything, the guys who faxed the pics have left my work place too. Only my boss remains and the guy who announced the way I walk to people.

Please dont misunderstand me I am normally a cheerful person but some people do get me down, I never poke fun at people for how they look so why do these ADULTS do it? I can understand kids being funny but not this.

elsien

Are you absolutely sure that it's you they were laughing at and not just having a laugh and a joke as they walked past?
The reason I'm asking is because a friend of mine with depression can think that people are looking or talking about her when it's just coincidence. The feeling comes and goes depending on how well or ill she is feeling.
Can you ask your doctor to refer you for counselling - it does sound as if you could do with getting your feelings about work etc out in the open, and it might help you to not feel bad about dealing with the people who are picking on you. With the best will in the world doctors are a bit limited in how much time they can give you.

debs2327

hi ya hun i really feel for you and can relate totally as my confidence has always been very low due to bad conditioned teeth i have polycistic ovaries so i get lot of facial hair , im a size 18 , and i too also lost both my parents when i was 16 (17 yrs ago )so have been depresed on and off throughout and im very shy twards new ppl face to face so dont really have a lot of friends , but since me and my partner decided to get married i decided enough is enough so

so ive been going to dentist to sort my teeth out i was shocked as its only taking about 8 appointments and £199 ,
ive been having my facial hair waxed regularly so its loads finer , if i cant afford it i use the tweesers myself takes longer but just as effective if you have the facial hair you could go see you gp as it could be an imbalance of hormones ,
i bought some decent make up like proper brands and must say it does make a difrence ,
i havent managed to loose weight but walk with my head up now and im looking forward to wearing my wedding dress on my day and feeling beautifull ,
hope you feel better soon hun , but have a word with gp about facial hair dont be embarassed cos they are really understanding about it it took me 10 yrs to go about mine to find out it was medical reasons xx

whitewing

If you're quite hairy, have you been checked out for PCOS? (A friend of mine was diagnosed with it last year)?

As that is hormonal it may account for how you're feeling too in part.

There's some more info here (but I'm not sure about the quality of the link):

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Polycystic-ovarian-syndrome/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Probably worth ruling it out.

pocketrocket_2

elsien wrote: »

Are you absolutely sure that it's you they were laughing at and not just having a laugh and a joke as they walked past?
The reason I'm asking is because a friend of mine with depression can think that people are looking or talking about her when it's just coincidence. The feeling comes and goes depending on how well or ill she is feeling.
Can you ask your doctor to refer you for counselling - it does sound as if you could do with getting your feelings about work etc out in the open, and it might help you to not feel bad about dealing with the people who are picking on you. With the best will in the world doctors are a bit limited in how much time they can give you.

Hi yes im 100% sure as they looked right at me when the mum gestured at me to her daughter and as I stood there afterwards as they walked off down the aisle they turned to look back at me while the daughter was still laughing, I think it embarresed them to see me looking back at them.

calleyw

It is a sad fact of life when you don't look like everyone else people stare or pass comment.

It just proves how insecure they are. As they reflect there own insecurities back to you.

You say you have suffered from depression and I think that is a key factor here.

My husband had a stroke a couple of years ago and suffers from depression and he goes through phases of saying people are staring at him, he does not walk normally and has non-functioning hand. I just tell him that is because I am just so gorgeous that they can't stop looking at me :rotfl:

I would suggest that you pop along to you dr and have a chat.

I do feel for you as life is so cruel just look at someone like Susan Boyle because she did not look all groomed they already had her down as a loser. Changed there tune now.

I have always had the belief that people take me as I am. If they don't like what they see they are the ones missing out not me.

I wish all the best and strength to get over this period in your life.


Yours

Calley