Help pls! teenager drinking & driving, what do I do?

Emmzi

too embarrassed to sign on?!?!?!

she's taking you for a mug.

and you are letting her.

next time, shop her for drink driving and let her get a conviction she's not going to get a job, not the way things are going right now, so no need for a car.

while she is on her hols, pack her bags for her.

When she comes back
a) dole
b) 4 job applications a day
or
c) off to shelter to discuss what she does now she is homeless and will have to stay in a hostel

Maybe indukgent aunt will take her, maybe she won't, but unless she finds a footballer to marry, she's going to be a burden for as long as you let her

Penny-Pincher!!

A good friend died being knocked over by a drunk driver, so I have zero tolerance for anyone who chooses to drink and drive. It's a shame she wasnt pulled over by the police and breathalised (sp)

Your DD is taking you for a ride. I think you are correct and whilst she is away next week, you need to consider what you are going to do about the situation.

Can she move in with the rich auntie?

PP

RedBern

tough one - agree she needs a bit of a wake up call, if she wants to be treated like an adult she needs to start behaving like one.

Perhaps a way of preventing this in future is to give her a lift out to her friends if she's going out drinking and then she doesn't take the car with her at all. That doesn't solve the root of the problems, that is her selfish stupid behaviour, but may stop serious consequences.

Pollycat

Protogenia wrote: »

She doesn't work (is currently looking, somewhat half heartedly), she jacked in a college course approximately 12 months ago and hasn't done much since.
My "rich" aunt pays her £10 an hour for doing a few chores a week and that is how she pays for petrol and alcohol. The car was an eighteen birthday gift that went in her name (in the vain hope it would help her get to and from a job). She doesn't sign on as its "embarrassing" and has paid £20 board in the past two years.

Protogenia
it sounds (to me) that your daughter needs a slap in the face with a big dose of reality!
She sounds idle, selfish and is now knowingly breaking the law - and in such a way that may have serious (and possibly fatal) consequences on innocent people.
The drink/driving HAS to stop - either willingly by her or forcibly by you.
Could you honestly live with yourself if she killed someone?

Maybe you have spoiled her in the past but you're probably realising that it hasn't done her any good.
To let her get away with paying £20 board in 2 years isn't giving her the life coaching that she'll need if she ever moves out of her cushy home.

I'd have a strong word with your rich aunt and get the money that is paying for her car stopped.
She'll then have no alternative but to start looking for a job seriously, instead of half-heartedly.

squidge60

well i would tell her she wil lose her licence blah blah blah when she gets caught and after that i would let her decide for herself at 18 you have to let them decide and be responsible or take the punishment.stops any arguments and puts the ball in their court i have found it works

DrFluffy

You could involve the police - go to your local station, tell them you suspect (but don't know) she's been drink driving, and ask them to help drum in the importace of sobriety at the wheel. It might be enough of a shock to sort her out, without actually shopping her to the police.

Paparika

A very young (18) work colleague was into her drinking and made the mistake of driving (attempted) home, hit a bollard and tried to turn the car around to park it back in the pub to leave it there, she made such a mess of turning the car around, another motorist saw her and called the police.

She spent the night in the cells, was up in court Monday morning, lost her licence for 5 years and had 6-8 weeks wearing a tag, cost her, her job, her boyfriend, and loss of respect from a lot of people.

She couldn't sell her car for the amount she wanted, not sure if she did sell it.. and i had to remind her that when she is able to drive again she would have to declare the drink driving, and probably would not be able to afford the insurance.

Her whole life was ruined in a matter of months just because she thought she could get away with it.

Protogenia

Thank you all for your responses, it feels as though a small ray of light is peaking through due to your objectivity, empathy and understanding.

I have read through all the answers and will do so a couple of times before opting for the best plan of action. I will let you know what I decide and the outcome.

A HUGE thank you again...you don't all know how much your words have made me feel proactive and more positive about resolving the situation rather than being a worry wort.

X x

Paparika

You know what kids are like, we are old (as parents) what do we know and they have to make mistakes, admittedly some are just darn stupid and will screw their lives up in the process and then its all our fault as parents, we can never win.

Shame you can't pop her down to the local A & E on a Saturday night and show her the drink drivers and tell her how damn lucky she was.

Another poster said take her car keys away, I love it :T

I've only been driving for 3 years but i will never ever ever drink and drive, if i am out the car stays home or we park it up and collect it the next day.

There is no excuse to drink and drive. Good luck to you and the tantrums your about to get from her

blue_ashleigh

Are there things that you do for her or things which you pay for which she uses?

Cooking, washing clothes etc. - you could stop doing them for her completely.
TV, internet, mobile phone... - if you can stop them/ her using them

I'm not sure turfing her out will solve the problem, but if you can make her realise she needs to grow up (get a job, sign on, be responsible!) maybe she'll stop behaving spoilt and realise her actions have consequences. (Obviously sit down and tell her you're doing this and why!)

Depending on how far you want to go you could pop one of her tyres so she'll have to find money to fork out for a new one... (not that I'm suggesting this is the best idea ever or promoting destroying property!)