advice please

galvanizersbaby

dipsy wrote: »

Thank you all for the time you have all taken to reply,

The question I was really asking was how to stop the verbal abuse that is happening in front of the children and what he could do to make sure they were happy - guess there is no easy solution to it ...

my questions were not about my living arrangements - my children wont be sharing a room as this is not practical son is 15 and daughter is 11 and so both need their own space and privacy.


thanks again

I guess paying some maintenance for the children would go some way towards this.
If their mother then complains about the father only making one visit a month then perhaps she would be more willing to meet him halfway with regard to travelling etc... after all as another poster said she can't have her cake and eat it and the same applies to the father.

Good luck - sounds like you may need it!

Savvy_Sue

dipsy wrote: »

The question I was really asking was how to stop the verbal abuse that is happening in front of the children and what he could do to make sure they were happy - guess there is no easy solution to it ...

TBH, I doubt if there is anything you or your ex can do to stop the verbal abuse in front of the children. If he paid maintenance she'd find some other reason for it.

Perhaps I'm being unfair, but in this kind of situation parents either act as adults or they don't. There are plenty of posters on MSE who (say they) bite their tongues in front of the children, even when the ex is a complete waste of space (and I'm not saying this one is). And that's the adult thing to do.

Too many parents are apparently incapable of this, and are prepared to let rip in front of the children. That's the childish thing to do.

He could apply to have them live with him, but that's going to cost money, which he doesn't have.

BTW, he could apply for one or more part-time jobs which could still leave him Fridays free for pickups. He could do that alongside any self-employment. I'm not saying that would be easy, but it is an option to consider.