A new start for Mooloo

Savvy_sewing

Sorry to hve kept you reading all monday! grandma, I hope you didnt go back to the old thread. Mind you if you had then you would know the best part of the last 2 years. I used to post on Hypno's thread when I first started. I was dealing with my bankruptcy then!
I am exhaustedbut I really dont think that I want to go to bed.
DS wants the computer soon. So i will then.

Savvy_sewing

I better go, or when DGD wakes up, I will be too tired and it will make it harder.
Thanks for actually just being on the thread when I needed an ear, so to speak.
x
Tomorrow is another day, the start of another phase of things. Head up,shoulders back, and ask questions after questions!!

Savvy_Sue

mooloo, please try to write down exactly what you would need in place in order to care for your DGD for this time.

Off the top of my head, money, and lots of it - for nappies, food, heating, extra travel, childcare.

You really cannot cope with a 2 year old 24/7 in your physical condition. However, if they were to arrange a childminder for the days - which they can do! - then you and biggest might manage it.

But if they did not have you to dump on, what would they do? Ask them that. They would arrange foster care, and they would pay for it. And they would pay for contact with twin1. And you need their help in order to help them!

It will be a couple of days before I see anyone to ask whether what they have done is normal or not - I know that they do sometimes have to remove children at very short notice, but you begin to wonder why, when you've all been muddling along for so long, it's suddenly such a crisis.

Savvy_sewing

Hi, I had a fitfull night,but at least once settled DGD slept till7.45am.
We have just finished breakfast.
DS starts his Apprenticeship on Monday at 9am.
Things change so fast!.
We have his final signing off of YOP this afternoon. So I will have to take DGD with me.
The SW brought her with about 6 tops, but no cardigans or jumpers. Which is not very suitable for a house with no central heating. Luckily I have a small dressinggown here.
I tried to post earlier,but the computer went into configuration and lost it all.!
I am aware that I couldnt cope well with a 2 year old, for longer then a few days. Without help.
I am going to suggest that as DS is going to stay at his friends tonight, that I bring Twin1 back with us tonight. She can then do everything, and I can just suppervise.
There is unfotunately not much room for her to be able to stay here (and she would loose her tenancy. Also, it would mean a complete return of 2 years ago, when I ended up overcrowded with both mums and babies backhome with me. And I had to sleep inthe livingroom.
Part of me is worried about them, part is also selfishly worried about myself.
I agree that if I had not had her, they would have had to put her with a foster carer. But that is no consolation, and would have been even worse all around.

I better go, I have alot to sort out today. The start of a lot to sortout no doubt.
Think I will also be needing to find DD a solicitor.

floss2

Mooloo wrote: »

......The SW brought her with about 6 tops, but no cardigans or jumpers. Which is not very suitable for a house with no central heating.....

And they wonder why social workers have a bad reputation - do they pack for their own children or themselves like that?

Mooloo wrote: »

......I agree that if I had not had her, they would have had to put her with a foster carer. But that is no consolation, and would have been even worse all around....

It may not have been worse - you would not be worrying about being able to care for DGD, and worrying abut Twin1, and worrying whether you will end up with all of them living at home again with you and worrying whether you will have enough money to live on.

shaz_mum_of__2

Mooloo ask the social worker about section 17(?) money there are pots of money to help families stay together and you must ask for it or your situation will only get worse. Good for you for thinking about your own needs and keep thinking about them . These pots of money can pay for furniture as well as living expenses also SS can pay for nursery places for respite so ask about that too


Good idea to get legal advice but try to work with the SW i know it will be hard as you have had no joy in the past but things will go much smoother if they are on your side

Can't think of anything else , i am off on my french mini break soon (2pm) and will catch up when i get back on tuesday hope the weekend goes well for you and your health doesn't deteriorate. Try and stay positive and dont be scared to ask for help or money from the SW.

Jo4

Mooloo, I just don't know what to say. I cannot believe they expect you to look after her with your health but I suppose it is better that she is with her granny than a foster carer. Your poor little granddaughter probably doesn't know if she is coming or going, one minute she is living at home and the next she is living at her grannys'. If it doesn't rain for you it pours!

Savvy_sewing

I have had a long day. DGD is stood infront of me, watching some CBBies. And is mesmerised. so thought I would just post while I am still able.
My upperbody feels like its done a fewrounds with a boxer. As all the muscles are aching terribly. (mostly due to working in the shop and tension!).
DS didnt go to college as mentioned.(I think) he came with me to see Twin1.She was in a mess when I arrived. Looked very unkempt and was worried about everything.
The social worker rang me to tell me that.......nothing has been sorted, and that the family agreement that I signed the previous week, was going to cover us, andthat as far as she is concerned I am now the Sole Carer for DGD until they can get Mum into a place called Westgate. (I am to investigate what that will entail.).
The worker in the flats, has broken the news that TWin1 cannot keep her tenancy, as she has not got he daughter living with her. I had already read the tenancy agreement and pointed out that she has 4 weeks notice for termination of her tenancy. And after the realisation that that would be around Christmas, and what was the reality of them starting a care programme then i thought was slim pickings. She agreed that I was only being realistic and that after a conversation on the phone they have agreed that Twin1 has unil 1st Week in January before she has to go. They will draw up a letter accordingly.
Twin1 is heartbroken at the moment. The worker is going to go in in the morning at 9.30 and start the backlog of washing, (Hiding in the cupboards), and work on keeping Twin1's spirits up.
I spoke to the Social worker, and said, I need help with Heating my home, etc as I need hot water for the baby, (I use the shower mostly). and that I will need to put heaters on, as I cannot use the other open fire. That I also need to be able to afford the things DGD needs. And Fuel to take her to and from her mothers.
I also said that she needs to be in some sort of child care facilities to giveme relief as of my spondylosis.
She said she would have a word with her manager.
Meanwhile, tomorrow, we are to contact Family Welfare, and ask for a solicitor for Twin1's rights etc. etc.
Twin1 and DGD are to be placed in an assessment centre, for about 12 weeks. But then we will have to find her further accommodation after that time isup.
(Hopefully with DGD!).

Ds starts his Apprenticeship on Monday.
Biggest of Mooloo will have DGD from SAturday morning until Sunday evening, until I can collect her, and I am going to drive down to Oxford (and collapse no doubt!) to see my BF. I miss him,havent seen him for nearly 2 weeks. Seems a life time ago.
How my mum ever coped when my dad was away on active duty for 9 months is beyond me.
I am pleased to say that this afternoon, DS was released from his YOP scheme and he can now move on without any further reparation work etc etc.

Its been a long day.
Time to bath DGD, and then get her settled for bed.
(I did ask Twn1 if she wanted to come with us,but she is determind to get the washing etc sorted out.).

Iappreciate all the advice, the hugs, and the thoughts. It does help, as my friends are few and far between. I really only have one friend. Its all the moving I have done.So those on here are prescious to me. I dnt feel so isolated then.

Savvy_Sue

floss2 wrote: »

And they wonder why social workers have a bad reputation - do they pack for their own children or themselves like that?

To (try to) be fair, it may never have crossed her mind that anyone would be living without central heating, although she really ought to have checked this out before now! And even somewhere WITH central heating, long sleeved tops are often needed for going out!

floss2 wrote: »

It may not have been worse - you would not be worrying about being able to care for DGD, and worrying abut Twin1, and worrying whether you will end up with all of them living at home again with you and worrying whether you will have enough money to live on.

I did think that myself. However, that's with my logical head on, and if it was one of MY grandchildren I probably wouldn't think that way.

However, in temporary foster care, frequent contact with the birth family can be the norm, and if it's appropriate it should be arranged and facilitated - bus fares or even taxis paid for etc. And I can't for the life of me think why it would NOT be appropriate in this case.

taka

((((hugs )))) mooloo. You have so much to take in (and on) at the moment... I'm glad you have spoken to the SW about your needs in order to help look after DGD. I hope you have good news soon - or at least news on when twin1 + DGD will go to westgate for the assesment. Thinking of you... I hope you feel in less pain tomorrow. xx