DMP Mutual Support Thread (Part 6)

Northstar68

bigmommamuppet wrote: »

Hi Northstar,

Just wanted to send you a dodgy looking hug :grouphug: .... We all have good days and bad but honestly it does get better, trust me. The letters and the phone calls will stop it takes a couple of months.

No one knows apart from DH so we have the constant 'secret' but again it gets easier when you find ways on doing things on a budget. I had been thinking over the last couple of days what's changed for us since March and to be honest not that much or it's for the better, therefore I'm going to give you some examples to hopefully let you see how life gets back to normal after the 1st couple of months of constant hassle.

1. We hardly get any post anymore and I'm don't dread going home to see what's lying on the mat.

2. I still get my hair cut every 6 weeks but only get it coloured every 12 therefore saving £260 per year plus I have someone come to the house.

3. I started by crimbo pressies shopping in Oct with the help of the this board (grabbit boards etc) and have nearly finished and have still managed to buy everyone something even though its a bit less than usual but I don't think they'll notice.

4. We eat and drink well (3 for £10 wine) when before we spent £6-7 per bottle so again don't notice the difference.

5. Clothes shopping now done at tesco, primmies and asda instead of Next, GAP & Monsoon:eek:. Kids get those type of clothes from Ebay for a fraction of the cost.

6. And we're planning a cheap holiday for next year 1 week in the sun, easy jet type flights, S/Catering. I have started to do a neighbours ironing to put towards our hols. Could have put it towards the debt but I think we need to keep our sanity and as we're in the for the long haul we need a bit of respite once in awhile.

Take Care

Becks

Thank you so much Becks, I feel much better now, so pleased I posted instead of moping about! I suppose we are in a bit of limbo isn't it, the in between period of token payments and creditors hassling to the start of the DMP and everything settling down.

Good ideas you have there..........OH loves his wine, I knocked it on the head in a ruthless 'WE CANT HAVE ANY TREATS' rant to which he responded by buying cheap lager and now he has a beer belly :eek:

We havent had a holiday for 3 years now and are desperate for a bit of 'away' time, fingers crossed we will also do something next summer.

My mum and brothers have been clothing my girls this year, and my friends for their birthdays and that, godsend.

Hair - we also get ours done at home, just cuts, every 10 weeks or so.

As for Chrimbo...........I should have thought of it earlier but what with all the Notification of DMP letters and the hold ups I have been distracted, plus loads of pressure at work and my mum's operation last week (she's doing fine now)...it's been hard!

I am checking out other boards now for further ways to save money, any good ones you find let me know. I'm on page 110 of the saving pennies one, another 70 odd pages to go I think!

Thx again, loving the dodgy hug btw :rotfl:

pwally2

Hiya Northstar!!

Hang in there!!! It can be a nightmare when things start on your DMP but believe me it will get better as others say!

unfortunaltely I have one creditor still harrassing me but letters going out today to them and to Financial Ombudsman and Trading Standards have had enough.

This thread is a massive help and support I cant beleive I had my head buried in sand for so long so glad to be facing up to things now

As for Christmas I think so much is now too commerciallised I cant believe the day after Bonfire Night not even before Armistice Day had gone that Santas Grotto was in the town centres!!!! To me and again I dont have kids so might be different also served in Armed Forces for a while and worked Christmas day 7 yrs on the trot so dads with kids could have the day off but ot me Christmas doesnt start till Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve and then its all about being with loved ones and shouldnt matter what gifts you get or how much you spend.

Rant over!!!! Hope everyone has good weekend!!!

the_tooth_fairy

Hope wee miss Bailey is ok. Let us know how it went, chick.

saskia1

NS68 - hun just want to say hang on in there!!

as everyone else has said - it does get better.

I actually don't stess about my debt anymore - well not like i did 5 months ago when EVERTHING went on the ole cc's. & then thinking of what cc to use for food / hubby calling me to see if he could use bank card - utter madness.

We know our credit is shot to pieces - the only thing i do have a little niggle in my head about is the fact that my car finance finishes in feb (yay - £100 more towards dmp) but i travel 50 miles a day and will need a new car within the next 6 years at least. so i think about how i'm going to do that

but x that bridge when i come to it.

like Becks - we eat well, still have treats (tonight is monthly takeaway!!!)
& last pay day bought myself some fab boots from Next. (like Becks - it was Monsoon - now i love New Look & H & M - wish i had a Primark nr me!

as for xmas - have squirreled away £250 for presents so i know thats a lot more than some so i feel grateful for that.

anyhoo - off to pour a glass of £3.99 Pinot Grigio! the bottle now lasts all w/end!!!!!

hugs to us all

xxxx
sas

Northstar68

the_tooth_fairy wrote: »

Hope wee miss Bailey is ok. Let us know how it went, chick.

Hey TTF, how are you? I was wondering how you were doing this week.
I'm sure Bailey will be along this weekend to keep us posted.

xxx

Northstar68

Thanks so much everyone, I hope I have clicked thank you to you all.
It's true I was feeling like s*&^ this morning, it comes and goes in waves and I think sometimes that I just dont need this debt problem now.

My story goes a lot deeper and I havent talked about it here yet, maybe later, but in a nutshell I have an awful lot of anger and resentment towards my OH and I try so hard for the sake of the children to put a brave face on it all and sort everything out because 'for better or worse' and all that. (He's not the organiser/letter writer/phone call maker in the house) so it was walk away or help him get it sorted and because we are linked his debt is my debt also. (I must stress at this point that I am no angel of course)

But it's been a long time and I am tired of it all now......well, this is what I tell myself sometimes on the low days but then I put a plaster on it and get on with the day because that is what I simply have to do.

So today was one of those days, it all got too much again but your posts have helped me so much so thank you again :T

P.S. While I sit waiting for news about our DMP and if we are going to make the plan at all let alone on the 1st December I decided I must get cracking with the reclaiming of the CC charges and PPI thing too. So that will keep me busy for a while.

Twit_Head

Northstar68 wrote: »

Hi Everyone,

One day I feel ok, then the next day I feel so down about this all.
Letter after letter from the 13 creditors, not even leaving 2 days in between letters when I check the date. Demands for this, demands to phone them immediately or else, I think not!

None of them have acknowledged receipt of my Notification of DMP letters or token payments (which have been cashed), 2 out of 13 letters are still on their way having been sent on the 29th Oct....so that is a pain....then the hold ups with the start of the DMP......and the rain, the endless rain.....sometimes it's hard to keep thinking positively!!

It's really really hard to keep a brave face on it, apart from my parents and brothers no one else knows what's going on and all my friends are talking about Christmas,going out, presents,buying new clothes, everything and I'm pretending everything is hunky dory!

Having a winge....sorry but thank you for listening!!!
Big hello again to returners and newbies.
PMA PMA PMA PMA :D

Hello Northstar and all other very new newbies
So feel for you with the self-employed situation. Must be so difficult to budget.
However as other people have said, it really DOES get better. You're going through the stomach-heaving, not sleeping bit at the moment but horrendous though it is it really will pass (I lost a stone in weight through the stress before I started my DMP) And as I've said before (and Geoffmr1 so wisely also) you will learn to cope with it and grow in confidence.
I'm a bit further on than you and being hit by 25% interest + double charges from one creditor but it sure ain't keeping me awake at night now! My DMP is 19years :eek: but they can't have any more than I'm giving them.

As for holidays/breaks away - Travelodge £9-00 cheapo rooms are great. Subscribe to :money:weekly e-mail if don't already for a heads up on the release of the next batch of bargain rooms. Also watch 'The Sun' for £38 for 4 family caravan holidays. Not exactly a world cruise on a luxury liner but a break away to recharge your batteries.
A big hug to you all but remember this is just the start of your new life

'Twitty'

Northstar68

Twit_Head wrote: »

Hello Northstar and all other very new newbies
So feel for you with the self-employed situation. Must be so difficult to budget.
However as other people have said, it really DOES get better. You're going through the stomach-heaving, not sleeping bit at the moment but horrendous though it is it really will pass (I lost a stone in weight through the stress before I started my DMP) And as I've said before (and Geoffmr1 so wisely also) you will learn to cope with it and grow in confidence.
I'm a bit further on than you and being hit by 25% interest + double charges from one creditor but it sure ain't keeping me awake at night now! My DMP is 19years :eek: but they can't have any more than I'm giving them.

As for holidays/breaks away - Travelodge £9-00 cheapo rooms are great. Subscribe to :money:weekly e-mail if don't already for a heads up on the release of the next batch of bargain rooms. Also watch 'The Sun' for £38 for 4 family caravan holidays. Not exactly a world cruise on a luxury liner but a break away to recharge your batteries.
A big hug to you all but remember this is just the start of your new life

'Twitty'

Hi Twitty!

Lovely to hear from you! I just posted another message around the same time that you wrote.
Thanks for the heads up about the rooms, I had heard about them before but just didnt have the energy to look into it. Hopefully in the New Year eh!
I hope you are keeping well and yes life, cash only, I love the freedom of it! It is a huge relief actually!

xxxxx

Twit_Head

Northstar68 wrote: »

Thanks so much everyone, I hope I have clicked thank you to you all.
It's true I was feeling like s*&^ this morning, it comes and goes in waves and I think sometimes that I just dont need this debt problem now.

My story goes a lot deeper and I havent talked about it here yet, maybe later, but in a nutshell I have an awful lot of anger and resentment towards my OH and I try so hard for the sake of the children to put a brave face on it all and sort everything out because 'for better or worse' and all that. (He's not the organiser/letter writer/phone call maker in the house) so it was walk away or help him get it sorted and because we are linked his debt is my debt also. (I must stress at this point that I am no angel of course)

But it's been a long time and I am tired of it all now......well, this is what I tell myself sometimes on the low days but then I put a plaster on it and get on with the day because that is what I simply have to do.

So today was one of those days, it all got too much again but your posts have helped me so much so thank you again :T

P.S. While I sit waiting for news about our DMP and if we are going to make the plan at all let alone on the 1st December I decided I must get cracking with the reclaiming of the CC charges and PPI thing too. So that will keep me busy for a while.

Hi
Saw we had cross-posted. Would also just say don't let your anger eat you and all the good things away. 'Mea culpa' to be sure but I am here partly because of supporting unwaged loved ones and being the strong one through the bad times (scuse me - am I having a good time now?? :rolleyes:)
You can and will be strong and work this through for the good of your relationship and family

'Twitty'

smcshane

saskia1 wrote: »

NS68 - hun just want to say hang on in there!!

as everyone else has said - it does get better.

I actually don't stess about my debt anymore - well not like i did 5 months ago when EVERTHING went on the ole cc's. & then thinking of what cc to use for food / hubby calling me to see if he could use bank card - utter madness.

We know our credit is shot to pieces - the only thing i do have a little niggle in my head about is the fact that my car finance finishes in feb (yay - £100 more towards dmp) but i travel 50 miles a day and will need a new car within the next 6 years at least. so i think about how i'm going to do that

but x that bridge when i come to it.

like Becks - we eat well, still have treats (tonight is monthly takeaway!!!)
& last pay day bought myself some fab boots from Next. (like Becks - it was Monsoon - now i love New Look & H & M - wish i had a Primark nr me!

as for xmas - have squirreled away £250 for presents so i know thats a lot more than some so i feel grateful for that.

anyhoo - off to pour a glass of £3.99 Pinot Grigio! the bottle now lasts all w/end!!!!!

hugs to us all

xxxx
sas

Hi Sas,

Just wanted to say, as long as you get your car serviced as it should be then a car should last more than 6 years. I too drive over 50 miles a day for work and have a 12 year old diesel which has nothing wrong with it, just passed MOT with flying colours.

I also had a Honda that was 16 years old and had done 180,000 miles and still nothing wrong with it, unfortunatley the body was starting to rust around the perfect engine. I did sell that to a mechanic who did it up and now takes it to car shows.

All I'm saying just give it a bit of tender loving care it may last longer than you think.;)

Sx