Marathons, Money and Motivation

CAFCGirl

no got in contact with payplan but they were really unhelpful and ive got to say i was really disappointed in them, basically said that until i get a new job or am on benefits they cant do anything.... even when i asked what we could do for now, she had nothing to offer me...... was really p*ssed off to be fair.....

He just has this idea that" well if I havent got the money, i cant pay them can I?" like thats enough of an solution...... and my point is he is now 25 yrs old and needs to be thinking about the future and our credit rating, and yet somehow he thinks we'll get a mortgage in like 2 years time and everythings hunky dory.... sometimes he is too much of a teenager in a lot of ways, but i cant be a "mother" to him, we;re supposed to be equals in a marriage..... and I just dont see why i have to do and be responsible for everything.....
i know it doesnt help that i have this weird feeling that something is wrong with me so im trying to take care of myself and him when what i could really do with is some time to just focus on me.....

He also tried that betting scheme as well.... despite me telling him that when he reached £50 on dooyoo he could use that money, because basically it wasnt money that we would miss, and he had earnt it, he used £50 out of his bank and i know he did it in desperation but of course, despite me telling him it was a con, he did it anyway and lost £50.....

Then he took my ebay items to the post office, used a card I told him specifically not to use because Im at my limit, and he used it and now i'm going to get charged on it!

doodledo_2

Awww hun why do you think something is up with you? Sorry to pry and bet you have already said but I have missed it, what a crap friend I am

He is just taking no personal responsibility. As an outsider I get the feeling he is thinking you worry for no reason and it will all sort itself out. My ex was like that, he thought i moaned for the sake of it, and thought everyone had debt. It was only recently after our split when we paid off the debts he finally clicked how different life could have been if we were debt free :mad:

CAFCGirl

its just a sense.....

clearmydebts

CAFCGirl wrote: »

its just a sense.....

If you feel there is something wrong with you then you really need to get it checked out.

I hope someone on here will be able to give you some debt advice on what to do next? It does sound like you are banging your head against the wall with your DH. At 25 he should defo be taking responsibilty for his debt. I hope he wakes up and gets his lightbulb moment soon as you seem to be shouldering a lot of the burden and responsibility.

Any word from the fire service for him? How are the up north plans coming along?

CAFCGirl

no not yet, he was supposed to hear on friday in regard to how his phone interview went..... but he hasnt heard yet....

but he has been on a forum site that other applicants and fire service are on.... and noone has heard ........ either good or bad news....... so thats something.....

up north plans arent really doing anything at the moment, working this weekend on clearing out some junk, would like to ebay some more and make a bit of money back on it, but unless its free listing, i dont really think its worth it.....

lynzpower

Honey can you get a load of stuff together to do a car boot sale before the car is repo'd

I think you need to find a way of getting some cash quick, this seems like a good way as you have to clear out a lot of stuff quickly. good monery can be made.

really feel for you darling xx

CAFCGirl

unfortunately our area is really carp for them, and any of them that were happening seem to have ended now....

CAFCGirl

got a very heartfelt apology in the middle of the co-op earlier

savingholmes

Hi cafcgirl - sorry you are having things so rough. Glad your OH apologised. He does need to face up to the debt. In terms of this sense something is wrong with you - would it help to see your GP? Would antidepressants help to lift some of the burden? I am on them - I am stable now but I have stayed on them as i like being stable.

CAFCGirl

i dont really believe in a-d's..... to be honest.

I just need to know there is some proactive way to cope with this, and although DH did apologise saying he was really sorry we were in this mess because it was his fault, leaving the police, increasing the debt, trying that stupid betting scheme despite me telling him it wouldnt work.....and not doing *anything* to help the situation....... but hes said sorry so now im thinking yeah thats great to apologise but you need to DO something.....

Ive told him we need to literally sell most things, and just learn to survive on basics, so his x-box can go, one stereo can go, one tv can go... These are things that can be replaced once we have money and can afford to pay cash for them, and things we can survive without until then....

Im also going to try and go through each room this week and organise what could potentially be taken to a bootfair, we went for a walk earlier and have found one that is open for a few more weeks so might give that a try next weekend but again ive told him he needs to take charge of that.....that is if we still have a car come friday since theyve now sent notice that its going to be repossessed!