Not coping very well.

mr_&_mrs_2

Hang in there Pup and keep talking & posting on here....it will help

gratefulforhelp_2

thepup wrote: »

Hi

I just need to vent a little.

At the point where I can no longer meet minimum payments to my creditors and it is playing havoc on me already.

If I could find a job I could meet the payments but can't get work no matter how hard I try.
Seems my only option will be to go bankrupt and I would rather do this myself sooner rather than try to cope with it later when creditors are hounding me.

My wife tells me it won't come to that and that work will come along but it looks so unlikely at present.

I am already suffering from depression and this is adding so much stress and pressure to me, I am barely eating or sleeping, and isolating myself away in my room most of the time.

I really don't know how much more I can take.
Been put on Citalopram by my GP but I am still constantly anxious to the point of physically shaking.

I dread having to tell my kids that we'll pretty much lose everything.
I ordered concert tickets for my daughters birthday but no doubt if I go bankrupt the receiver would reclaim the funds as tickets aren't due to be sent until August.(I know it seems a minor thing but my daughter will never forgive me).

I am just so worried, stressed and depressed 24 hours a day and every rejected job application sets me back further.

Dunno how much more I can take and I doubt my marriage would survive bankruptcy.

Sorry for this rant, just hoping getting it out will make me feel a little better.

Would appreciate any ideas for coping strategies.

God bless, you will get good help here and that is a good drug! Give it time to kick in...

ETA all fab advice. It may be better to soft-pedal your expectations for a new job until you have these things sorted. Take the pressure off yourself. Hugs.

fiveyearplan

thepup wrote: »

Hello again everyone.

I am still so stressed and anxious.
Don't leave my bedroom unless I absolutely have to,and feel such anxiety and lethargy/irritability all the time.
However I am still hoping against hope to find a job in time to avoid the bankruptcy route. Why? you will really feel immediate relief from stress if you do go bankrupt - you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.
Had an interview yesterday that went well but I fear my references may scupper things.
I am continuing to search hard for work so at least I can say I am trying.

I have a GP appointment on Monday re my stress and depression though I doubt medication will change as I have only been on Citalapram for 2 weeks.

Anyway, just wanted to thank you all for the supportive words and let you know that I haven't completely given up hope yet.

Have you spoken to any of the debt charities? I know I felt so much better after speaking to them because I had found a solution and way forward (for me it was BR). I certainly don't regret going bankrupt. Please don't get caught up in the stigma - bankruptcy is the new black!

thepup

Hi FYP.

There are lots of reasons I wish to avoid bankruptcy, besides the obvious.

Computers/big screen tv were purchased by credit cards and I suppose they would be taken away to pay towards debt.
So my kids would lose their sources of entertainment/pleasure.

We live in a rented house and I fear the landlord could have us removed, though we have never had any rent issues or anything.

The forms seem so complicated, just looking at them scares and confuses me, plus I am a useless record keeper and don't have half the bank statements etc I would need.

These may seem minor reasons but to me they are not, given my state of mind at present.

Of course it may get to the point where I have no choice but til then I will keep hoping and searching for work.


One has to keep trying.

P.S. I have assumed a DRO would not be possible because computers/tv's etc would be counted as assets over £300......plus if I were to get a job the DRO would be cancelled anyway, so that route seems rather pointless.

I am going to try National Debtline this week......CAB seems overly busy.

Thanks for the support everyone.

skylight

Pup - on your first thread, you mentioned about losing everything.

You live in rented accommodation anyway - so you are not going to have your home taken. Exactly what do you and your OH think that you may lose? Perhaps we can put your mind at rest with these things.

You are NOT going to lose the TVs and computers. They have a next to nothing secondhand value so ORs are not really interested in them. When did you buy them?? NO-ONE comes round your house. NO-ONE turns up to take anything nor to come and value anything.

skylight

I can understand why everything is on top of you at the moment - what you are going to lose, confusing forms, no financial records. With depression this makes things worse. OH is on anti-Ds too, and I find that taking him through one step at a time helps. Don't try to deal with everything, in fact try not to think about it all either. Little steps will get you through this.

skylight

thepup wrote: »

Computers/big screen tv were purchased by credit cards and I suppose they would be taken away to pay towards debt. Unlikely. Very unlikely. These items have a pathetic secondhand value. And ORs are only interested in anything they can realise a decent return on and doesn't end up costing them more to collect/sell/commission etc. These will NOT go unless they are very, very new.
So my kids would lose their sources of entertainment/pleasure. They wont lose them. But your kids should find another source of entertainment anyway!! Although if yours are anything like my teen, prising her away from Facebook/MSN is a very hard task!

We live in a rented house and I fear the landlord could have us removed, though we have never had any rent issues or anything. If your LL has never had any issues with you, then why would he want to kick you out?? He would be a fool to, rental voids etc it would cost him more in the long term. Most LLs do not care about being BR - they just want the rent paid and property looked after. Besides - do you really think that your LL would care about you if he were to declare BR??

The forms seem so complicated, just looking at them scares and confuses me, plus I am a useless record keeper and don't have half the bank statements etc I would need. Don't worry about this. We can help. All statements the ORs can get. All you really need are the account numbers and its not the end of the world if you do not have those.


One has to keep trying. Of course. We all do. But there is also a time when you may just have to call it a day. YOU ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN MONEY. xx

P.S. I have assumed a DRO would not be possible because computers/tv's etc would be counted as assets over £300......plus if I were to get a job the DRO would be cancelled anyway, so that route seems rather pointless. This also depends on your total amount of debt.

I am going to try National Debtline this week......CAB seems overly busy. Remember that they can only give you advice. They may suggest several options to you but you have to decide which is best for you.

Thanks for the support everyone.

Little steps.


And remember - YOU ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN MONEY. xx

thepup

Thank you for your reply and reassurances.
At present my total debt is more or less £10-000 which I think I can manage to service ok if I find work.

Hence my desperate search.

I know I have to seek advice as it is one of the terms in applying for bankruptcy, but I see only 2 options......find a job quick or bankruptcy.

I was concerned about computers and stuff because, as they were bought within the last year or so they will obviously be seen by OR on bank statements etc so I assume these things would need to be listed in the assets part of the bankruptcy form.

Individually I don't think anything would have a resale value of more than £200.
But if I didn't list these items surely the OR would question it?

Dodger61

What ever you think, most of us have been through similar experiences, we are here to help. There is always hope so never ever give up. Wouldnt even mention the tickets. Although their certainly have been exceptions, most of the ORs are decent people doing a difficult job, they are not there to persecute. Be strong, we are here for you.

Merry_Gentry

thepup wrote: »

But if I didn't list these items surely the OR would question it?

If it's not got a resale value of over £1,000 the OR will have no interest - apart from a car. You may be questioned about the purchases in the last year but the honest answer is that you were working so thought you could service the debts. Please, get some professional advice and start on the road to a frest start - it really will help.