Not coping very well.

thepup

Hi

I just need to vent a little.

At the point where I can no longer meet minimum payments to my creditors and it is playing havoc on me already.

If I could find a job I could meet the payments but can't get work no matter how hard I try.
Seems my only option will be to go bankrupt and I would rather do this myself sooner rather than try to cope with it later when creditors are hounding me.

My wife tells me it won't come to that and that work will come along but it looks so unlikely at present.

I am already suffering from depression and this is adding so much stress and pressure to me, I am barely eating or sleeping, and isolating myself away in my room most of the time.

I really don't know how much more I can take.
Been put on Citalopram by my GP but I am still constantly anxious to the point of physically shaking.

I dread having to tell my kids that we'll pretty much lose everything.
I ordered concert tickets for my daughters birthday but no doubt if I go bankrupt the receiver would reclaim the funds as tickets aren't due to be sent until August.(I know it seems a minor thing but my daughter will never forgive me).

I am just so worried, stressed and depressed 24 hours a day and every rejected job application sets me back further.

Dunno how much more I can take and I doubt my marriage would survive bankruptcy.

Sorry for this rant, just hoping getting it out will make me feel a little better.

Would appreciate any ideas for coping strategies.

restofmylife

So sorry to hear about your troubles but I promise the support on here is A1, have you spoken to CCCS or National Debtline as yet? Try having a talk with your other half when kids in bed tonight and voice your worries - it is not your fault that you cannot find work at the moment and I am sure the support will be there, it is easy to stay in your room because you are finding things tough - but a problem shared and all that. It is an extremely stressful time for all concrned but you both need to support each other. If all the debt is only yours maybe you could go BR and OH buy Beneficial Interest in your house?? Lots of us on here have gone BR and the relief afterwards is immense but I do advise to speak to Debt Charaties first and of course your OH.
Good Luck with everything I know it doesn't seem like it at the moment but things do get better once you decide what route you want to take...

ROML

mr_&_mrs_2

Your situation is the very reason we decided to go BR...

My O/H was made redundant and couldnt find enough work to cover our monthly outgoings.

We didnt want our marriage & family in such a state that we were living an unhappy life...

We made a decision to live a happy life!

We left our house, moved into a rented house, we have very little money BUT we have left all the stress behind and boy what a difference its made....

Good luck with whichever way you choose to go...

This forum has been a godsend to me ...... I have recieved nothing but great support & advice ....

I hope some of that has helped you....

thepup

Hi

The debts are in my name alone and our home is rented.
Lately I have had to resort to borrowing from my loan just to meet minimum payments so no doubt that will lead to a BRO.

Also I am useless at keeping records/statements etc so the receiver wouldn't be impressed when I fail to produce statements etc, and I can't afford to pay for replacement copies. Half my acounts are online and I have no printer to print statements etc off.
Would that be a problem or would the receiver be able to acquire what he needs himself?

gettingbetter

thepup wrote: »

Hi

The debts are in my name alone and our home is rented.
Lately I have had to resort to borrowing from my loan just to meet minimum payments so no doubt that will lead to a BRO.

Also I am useless at keeping records/statements etc so the receiver wouldn't be impressed when I fail to produce statements etc, and I can't afford to pay for replacement copies. Half my acounts are online and I have no printer to print statements etc off.
Would that be a problem or would the receiver be able to acquire what he needs himself?

the reciever can get hold of any statements he needs to
i was useless at keeping statements aswell
i tend to keep everything now

keep posting the only stupid question is the one you dont ask

kas xx

Merry_Gentry

thepup wrote: »

I dread having to tell my kids that we'll pretty much lose everything.
I ordered concert tickets for my daughters birthday but no doubt if I go bankrupt the receiver would reclaim the funds as tickets aren't due to be sent until August.(I know it seems a minor thing but my daughter will never forgive me).

She will forgive you and she will understand. Children see far more than we realise - they know when we're stressed, when things are bad, and they actually want to help.

Once you have gone through bankruptcy, your money will once again be your own. And you can treat your daughter to something (within your budget) and she WILL forgive you.

You are doing this for the sake of your mental health, and for your family. Hold onto that. :grouphug:

debt_doctor

thepup wrote: »

Hi

The debts are in my name alone and our home is rented.
Lately I have had to resort to borrowing from my loan just to meet minimum payments so no doubt that will lead to a BRO.

Also I am useless at keeping records/statements etc so the receiver wouldn't be impressed when I fail to produce statements etc, and I can't afford to pay for replacement copies. Half my acounts are online and I have no printer to print statements etc off.
Would that be a problem or would the receiver be able to acquire what he needs himself?

Hi,

So many of us have been in that sort of position. Its often when all sources of borrowing are exhausted that it suddenly dawns what situation people are in.

Youve recognised it, and now your going to deal with it , with help from those on here.

Maybe its time to put up your inc / exp on here so we can have a look ?

Rented acc. and low income could be a good thing right now.

DD

mr_&_mrs_2

Well said Merry...

Never did i ever think we would sink.....but we did......now its time to face it.....sort it & live again...

The Pup, your O/H & family should soon realise whats important...

I think you need to gather the family together and let everyone know whats going on....

We did this, we are a family.....we are in it together, I would hate to think that my O/H was in such a state that he didnt feel able to 'look after us'.....he did that very well for many years....now he's not able to do so..

Its time for us all to come together & work through it...

thepup

Hi

Thanks to all who have replied thus far.
I tried to make a CAB appointment and they said they are booked solid until July!!!
I will have to get over there on the "drop in" day.

Will have to sit down with the wife to sort ot the income/expenditure thing.
One thing I am starting to convince myself of is that if I do have to declare bankruptcy I can't be more stressed and unhappy than I already am.

I will try ringing National Debtline and see what they say.

Mr&Mrs.....the wife is fully aware of things but still trying to convince me we can avoid bankruptcy.
I don't want to involve the kids til absolutely neccessary. My eldest is bright, no doubt she understands the stress I am under, just that she probably doesn't understand the implications of it all.

My wife says she is more worried about my mental state than the debts.

philnicandamy

I'll not repeat what everyone else has said..BUT your not alone we've all been in the dark place your in n ow & there is a solution & a way out of everything...it sometimes takes a little time
I've suffered with severe depression & been on various meds as well as councelling...people are out there to help you...the support here is fantastic so if you ever need to get anything off your chest post away here...it helped me a ton

Deciding on how best to tackle a debt problem is a horrible thing to face....but you dont need to go through it alone....and IF bankruptcy is the solution to your problems it'll be the best thing thats ever happened.....i'm 2yrs down the line now since bankruptcy & i'm a whole different person than what i'd been.....and life is good...and will be for you eventually

for now the most important thing is ....your health....your family (they WILL understand & support you)....I totally understand what you've said about not telling people & wondering how they'll react....its a bloke thing! we dont like opening up to talk to anyone when we've problems

(oh & welcome....by the way!)

mr_&_mrs_2

I think once you & your wife sit down and go through all the debt you will begin to feel a little better....

Debtline were fantastic, took a while getting through but the advice was second to none....who knows, you may not need to go down the BR route..

Take care of your health first & foremost

Good luck