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MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Would you give up a £50 train seat for a pregnant woman?

edited 12 May 2009 at 7:04PM in Money Saving Polls
630 replies 67.1K views
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  • MoneyMinzMoneyMinz Forumite
    31 posts
    NO
    being pregnant is a lifestlye choice
    an old person or disabled then yes.
    we already bend over backwards in this country for women that CHOOSE to be pregnant :mad:

    I fail to understand how anybody can have this attitude... Were they found under cabbage patches or do they not have mother's who brought them into the world?! If women or couples didn't "choose" to become pregnant, then the human race would come to a grinding halt surely? (then we wouldn't have to suffer anyone with this kind of attitude) Some people can be so ignorant :mad::mad::mad:
  • edited 13 May 2009 at 9:37PM
    Tiger_greeneyesTiger_greeneyes Forumite
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    edited 13 May 2009 at 9:37PM
    I think that some people seem to have forgotten that the original question states that "normally you'd be up in a flash" and that this is actually a hypothetical scenario. I've given up seats on buses and trains where you can't book a seat in advance. I did it because I have manners, not because I was made to feel guilty. I'm certainly not accepting anyone's attacks or innuendos that because I have a differing opinion to them, I'm automatically selfish, disgusting, ignorant or rude etc.

    I'd certainly never have the gall to make out that I was more important than anyone else because I had chosen to have a family. I also wouldn't try to take a seat from someone or try to win an argument by using the pregnancy to pull rank or by shaming people into agreeing with me.

    Imho, having a child is the most selfish (albeit not in a bad sense) choice anyone can ever make - it's something that you'd only ever do for yourself, not anyone else.

    I'm female and I'm cringing with embarrassment at how some other women are portraying our sex in this thread.
    Wedding date 31 October 2008 - MSE style of course :D
    Mis-sold endowment mortgage - compensation - £1,523.97
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  • blue_monkey_2blue_monkey_2 Forumite
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    Everyone is oging on about their pre-booked seat but I have only ever been on one train where I have been able to 'pre-book' a seat with a number.

    In the south you turn up, get on the train, there are no numbers on the seat. What do you do if you have 'booked'? Insist that someone gets up and gives you their seat as you have 'pre-booked'?

    As I noted earlier, I used to go from Hertfordshire to Hampshire on 2 different trains, a return jounery, sometimes 8 times a month, and while I could 'book' online there was never any train that had seat numbers.

    So what if you cannot book a 'seat'? And what if the only seat available was the 'reserved' seat. Would you give your seat up then?

    I can only hope that any of you not giing up your seat never have the misfortune to have a pregnant partner or to be incapaciated yourself and for you to have to stand.

    When I was 8 months pregnant (in the summer, my bump was not hidden) I fell down some steps outside Liverpool Street Station. I would like to take this opportunity to thank those people that ran past me (one even walked over me) for their concern but for not helping. I'd also like to thank the one man who helped me up, gave me my purse which had fallen from my bag and then called an ambulance. The 'walk on by, it's someone elses concern' horrifies me, I would stop to help anyone if they needed help, I would like to think that should I be in that same situation someone would do the same for me/my children/my husband.
  • aloisebaloiseb Forumite
    700 posts
    Yes, I would give up my seat, for someone pregnant or who otherwise seemed to need it more than me. Some things are more important than money.
  • Tiger_greeneyesTiger_greeneyes Forumite
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    Everyone is oging on about their pre-booked seat but I have only ever been on one train where I have been able to 'pre-book' a seat with a number.

    In the south you turn up, get on the train, there are no numbers on the seat. What do you do if you have 'booked'? Insist that someone gets up and gives you their seat as you have 'pre-booked'?

    As I noted earlier, I used to go from Hertfordshire to Hampshire on 2 different trains, a return jounery, sometimes 8 times a month, and while I could 'book' online there was never any train that had seat numbers.

    So what if you cannot book a 'seat'? And what if the only seat available was the 'reserved' seat. Would you give your seat up then?

    I can only hope that any of you not giing up your seat never have the misfortune to have a pregnant partner or to be incapaciated yourself and for you to have to stand.

    When I was 8 months pregnant (in the summer, my bump was not hidden) I fell down some steps outside Liverpool Street Station. I would like to take this opportunity to thank those people that ran past me (one even walked over me) for their concern but for not helping. I'd also like to thank the one man who helped me up, gave me my purse which had fallen from my bag and then called an ambulance. The 'walk on by, it's someone elses concern' horrifies me, I would stop to help anyone if they needed help, I would like to think that should I be in that same situation someone would do the same for me/my children/my husband.

    That's horrible blue monkey, I'd certainly have stopped to help. I tripped and visibly smashed my arm so badly that it was clearly broken into a sickeningly weird shape. This was in the Brompton Road (outside Harrods) at lunchtime in the height of tourist season so there were dozens of people around. Everyone except three women disappeared instantly. After what seemed ages I managed to get myself on my feet and noticed the three women standing ten feet away just staring at me. One asked if I was ok - my arm was bent, going black and three times the size of my other one. Some people are just plain stupid :confused: I picked up my shopping and staggered around the corner into work. I showed them my arm and said that I'd have to leave. One plank even rolled his eyes at me as he had a receipt he wanted me to type up :confused: Naturally I was fired :rolleyes:
    Wedding date 31 October 2008 - MSE style of course :D
    Mis-sold endowment mortgage - compensation - £1,523.97
    26.01.09 - I'm finally mortgage & debt free :j
    2009 wins: box of L'Oreal goodies: Liz Earle Cleanse & Polish: USB wireless modem: iPod Shuffle
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  • edited 13 May 2009 at 10:21PM
    TrialiaTrialia Forumite
    1.1K posts
    edited 13 May 2009 at 10:21PM
    Many of you on this thread seem to be far too fond of generalising. (Yes, I say many, not all.)

    How would the human race carry on if so many women didn't keep getting pregnant? Why don't you think about this instead - how many children are there in this world without a home who have already been born? Why do you deserve to contribute to the world's overpopulation problems by creating a brand new infant with half your DNA more than those already-born children deserve to have loving families?

    I would give up my seat out of politeness if I were not disabled, but only because it wasn't the baby's choice to be conceived. Either way it's a moot point because I do have a disability - more than one, in fact, albeit invisible - and so could not offer up my seat to anyone. Instead I get dirty looks and loud passive-aggressive muttering such as that from a certain parent 'way back up this thread (and by the way, you ought NOT to be setting young children that kind of disgustingly rude example when you have no idea of a person's circumstances!), simply because I am in my early twenties and I look healthy.

    Where's the fairness in that, hmm? Also, what makes this hypothetical pregnant woman so special that she can't go and ask the conductor if she can sit in a First Class seat? Nothing that I can see.

    I have plenty of humanity, but some of the people who have been posting self-righteous drivel on this thread disgust me.
    Homosexual, Unitarian, young, British, female, disabled. Do you need more?
  • plimsollplimsoll Forumite
    153 posts
    so many of those who wouldn't give up their seat keep saying "she chose to be pregnant" - er, how do you know???? you're assuming that as much as any of the other things that have been assumed (e.g. ability to pre-book). She may have been raped, the condom may have split, she may have been categorically told by medical professionals that she couldn't get pregnant and therefore not considered contraception necessary.... In any of those circumstances she may have wanted the baby once she found out, she may have found out too late for a "social" abortion, or she may simply have moral or religious reasons for not wishing to have an abortion....

    and conversely of course it could be argued that some disabled people "chose" to be disabled (in the same way it could be argued I chose to conceive my 2nd {unplanned} child - i.e. they knowingly took risks e.g. high risk sports that led to that outcome)... Does how they became disabled affect the likelihood of you offering them a seat? I suspect many of you that say you would offer to a disabled person but not a pregnant woman wouldn't even stop to consider whether the disabled person "deserved" a seat in the same manner as you're passing judgment on this poor pregnant woman.

    Incidentally, whilst pregnant with said 2nd child I frequently caught a bus which was buggy/disabled-unfriendly, and had to fold my pushchair & get myself & my toddler (who turned 2 around baby's due date tho baby held off for a couple of weeks) on a bus often with no help, sometimes also with the bus driver driving off before either of us was down the aisle never mind seated. I found that in general women of childbearing age were more willing to help, and elderly gentlemen. I also had some journeys where no-one initially offered me a seat when all full despite the fact that I was struggling to stand never mind hold my child (and I didn't have SPD or anything similar just the usual pregnancy aches & tiredness) although usually someone did. I also sometimes found that it was an elderly person who offered me a seat (depending how tired I was sometimes I accepted but I always asked if they were sure - and in fact that did usually spur someone else on to offer - and conversely I offered a seat if an elderly/disabled person got on and I was getting off at the next stop, or if I was on a buggy-friendly bus andwasn't feeling too bad - but if I had my toddler on my lap I did stay sitting for his safety).

    I now have the use of a car so rarely get public transport but I would offer a pregnant woman a seat yes (now having 2 children it would likely be a case of getting them to share a seat rather than pulling one on my lap to free one) because I know how much I felt in need of sitting down even on short journeys!
  • plimsollplimsoll Forumite
    153 posts
    Trialia wrote: »
    Also, what makes this hypothetical pregnant woman so special that she can't go and ask the conductor if she can sit in a First Class seat? Nothing that I can see.

    the train may be too crowded for anyone to be able to get through to another carriage never mind someone with a large bump, I've been on the odd train where you've had to grit your teeth if you needed the loo because getting off at your station was hard enough never mind moving when no-one else is
  • TrialiaTrialia Forumite
    1.1K posts
    plimsoll wrote: »
    the train may be too crowded for anyone to be able to get through to another carriage never mind someone with a large bump, I've been on the odd train where you've had to grit your teeth if you needed the loo because getting off at your station was hard enough never mind moving when no-one else is

    How does that mean she couldn't have boarded the train at a first class carriage at most stations, if she could see it was crowded through the windows? We are talking about a hypothetically able-bodied pregnant woman here, are we not?
    Homosexual, Unitarian, young, British, female, disabled. Do you need more?
  • Tiger_greeneyesTiger_greeneyes Forumite
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    Able-bodied but hypothetically completely unable (and seemingly exempt, thanks to her bump) to make decisions for herself, a complete victim and entitled to expect the rest of the world to give her special treatment as she's single handedly propping up the entire future of the human race, it seems. The only resemblance of this thread to the original question is that it's about a pregnant woman!
    Wedding date 31 October 2008 - MSE style of course :D
    Mis-sold endowment mortgage - compensation - £1,523.97
    26.01.09 - I'm finally mortgage & debt free :j
    2009 wins: box of L'Oreal goodies: Liz Earle Cleanse & Polish: USB wireless modem: iPod Shuffle
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