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Snaggles

Toto wrote: »

You can also make a call to the doctor who diagnosed Ryan, I assume he saw a consultant at the hospital. He/She can make various referals for you and it does help to speed up the process and get things moving. Sorry, I know it's a lot of phone calls and is a bit overwhelming. But there is help out there, you just need to know your rights and know who to go to, sadly this information isn't given out when it should be.

Thank you. And thanks to everyone else who has made suggestions or made kind comments. xxx

I've spoken to Parent Partnership who have told me it's an illegal exclusion because we haven't had a letter. I'm sure the head will say he didn't get chance to give me a letter though.

They will ring school and arrange a meeting for Tuesday afternoon to try and find a way forward. I've agreed to that, although as far as I'm concerned the relationship with the school has completely broke down, and I think they are actively trying to manage Ryan away from the school.

In the meantime I can apply to other schools, however he wont be able to start now until after summer apparently, and if he doesn't go back to his current school in the meantime, I could be prosecuted.

I can choose to un-enroll him and home educate him, but I would have to give up my job, and I'm not sure that's the right decision for the sake of the 2 months until the summer holidays.

I rang the schools and families people, who put me in touch with the exclusions team - there was no-one available but are ringing me back this afternoon. I'm going to ask their advice on sending him back to the school.

For now though, I'm just going to sit here and try not to cry, and make things as normal as possible for Ryan so he might take his winter gloves off and come out of the cupboard.

Toto

I should go and weigh in I suppose I've certainly been eating less on these pills and some of my clothes feel a little looser, but not much. Trouble is, there is a big bar of chocolate in the fridge and if I haven't lost anything much I might lose the willpower and eat the lot.

scorgeous

Snaggles wrote: »

Thank you. And thanks to everyone else who has made suggestions or made kind comments. xxx

I've spoken to Parent Partnership who have told me it's an illegal exclusion because we haven't had a letter. I'm sure the head will say he didn't get chance to give me a letter though.

They will ring school and arrange a meeting for Tuesday afternoon to try and find a way forward. I've agreed to that, although as far as I'm concerned the relationship with the school has completely broke down, and I think they are actively trying to manage Ryan away from the school.

In the meantime I can apply to other schools, however he wont be able to start now until after summer apparently, and if he doesn't go back to his current school in the meantime, I could be prosecuted.

I can choose to un-enroll him and home educate him, but I would have to give up my job, and I'm not sure that's the right decision for the sake of the 2 months until the summer holidays.

I rang the schools and families people, who put me in touch with the exclusions team - there was no-one available but are ringing me back this afternoon. I'm going to ask their advice on sending him back to the school.

For now though, I'm just going to sit here and try not to cry, and make things as normal as possible for Ryan so he might take his winter gloves off and come out of the cupboard.

Thinking of you Snags, and I hope it does get better for you x

boredofbeingathome

Snaggles wrote: »

Thank you. And thanks to everyone else who has made suggestions or made kind comments. xxx

I've spoken to Parent Partnership who have told me it's an illegal exclusion because we haven't had a letter. I'm sure the head will say he didn't get chance to give me a letter though.

They will ring school and arrange a meeting for Tuesday afternoon to try and find a way forward. I've agreed to that, although as far as I'm concerned the relationship with the school has completely broke down, and I think they are actively trying to manage Ryan away from the school.

In the meantime I can apply to other schools, however he wont be able to start now until after summer apparently, and if he doesn't go back to his current school in the meantime, I could be prosecuted.

I can choose to un-enroll him and home educate him, but I would have to give up my job, and I'm not sure that's the right decision for the sake of the 2 months until the summer holidays.

I rang the schools and families people, who put me in touch with the exclusions team - there was no-one available but are ringing me back this afternoon. I'm going to ask their advice on sending him back to the school.

For now though, I'm just going to sit here and try not to cry, and make things as normal as possible for Ryan so he might take his winter gloves off and come out of the cupboard.

The education dept will have to provide a home tutor, his educaton is a legal requirement and if he has problems going back to school then they should have a system in place for this. The exclusion team should be able to sort this out for you.

Sorry you are going through it and can completely understand why you lost your temper. It does sound like micro managing from what i have read and it is a poor attempt on their part too. Hopefully a decent plan will be put into place for you.

Toto

Snaggles wrote: »

Thank you. And thanks to everyone else who has made suggestions or made kind comments. xxx

I've spoken to Parent Partnership who have told me it's an illegal exclusion because we haven't had a letter. I'm sure the head will say he didn't get chance to give me a letter though.

They will ring school and arrange a meeting for Tuesday afternoon to try and find a way forward. I've agreed to that, although as far as I'm concerned the relationship with the school has completely broke down, and I think they are actively trying to manage Ryan away from the school.

In the meantime I can apply to other schools, however he wont be able to start now until after summer apparently, and if he doesn't go back to his current school in the meantime, I could be prosecuted.

I can choose to un-enroll him and home educate him, but I would have to give up my job, and I'm not sure that's the right decision for the sake of the 2 months until the summer holidays.

I rang the schools and families people, who put me in touch with the exclusions team - there was no-one available but are ringing me back this afternoon. I'm going to ask their advice on sending him back to the school.

For now though, I'm just going to sit here and try not to cry, and make things as normal as possible for Ryan so he might take his winter gloves off and come out of the cupboard.

Well done :T

Getting the parent partnership people on board will help no end. They will make sure that the school know what Ryan's rights are and the school will have to meet those needs. It is not acceptable for the school to treat Ryan as a child without special needs, which frankly is what they are doing.

I would really put pressure on social services, they will try to pass you on to other departments. But, Ryan has special needs and he is entitled to a children with disabilities assessment. Don't be afraid to tell them how hard it is for you and if sometimes you struggle to cope. They are so overworked they will only help people who shout. But, Ryan won't get a statement without them and they have a duty to ensure that he is in the right school and his educational needs are being met.

It isn't just schooling they can help with, they can get him various therapies and support from the autistic/AS team who can help him with learning to cope with day to day situations, avoiding the meltdowns. They can organise respite care, not only does this give you a break but it gives Ryan a chance to do things like visit someone elses house for tea or for a day out, things that non special needs kids get to do with their friends.

So, do speak to the exclusions team but also make sure it's clear that you want the disabilities team to get involved too. If you get little joy with them, as I have said your hospital consultant or even your GP can push a referal through for you.

Snaggles

boredofbeingathome wrote: »

The education dept will have to provide a home tutor, his educaton is a legal requirement and if he has problems going back to school then they should have a system in place for this. The exclusion team should be able to sort this out for you.

Sorry you are going through it and can completely understand why you lost your temper. It does sound like micro managing from what i have read and it is a poor attempt on their part too. Hopefully a decent plan will be put into place for you.

I feel really crappy about losing my temper. I was annoyed that the secretary tried to fob me off and basically lie to me, and then she put the headmaster on the phone, who kept talking over me, so I did get a bit cross and said 'No, I want you to listen to me and answer me', but he continued talking over me. At that point I wasn't really angry, just frustrated - I raised my voice only because he was talking over me, and I wasn't shouting or aggressive, but he hung up on me!

So that did make me angry, and things just went from bad to worse when I got to school and he started telling me I was 'damaging' my son by arguing in front of him (actually, I would rather let Ryan see that I care about him enough to stand up to someone for him, and get a bit angry on his behalf). If I'd punched him, or called him names, or behaved threateningly, that would have been entirely different.

He asked me to leave school premises and when I said 'no, not until you have given me a reasonable explanation for why you excluded him for swearing but not for violence', he said 'If you don't leave I will call the police and have you forcibly removed' (he must have suddenly forgotten that his concern was only for Ryan.....guess seeing his Mum dragged away by the police wouldn't have been damaging at all... :mad:).

I know I should have kept my temper, but I didn't swear, I wasn't abusive, I wasn't unreasonable, I didn't make any accusations, I was just loud, and not prepared to leave until he had explained himself.

God, I really hope this does bring things to a head and Ryan gets some help now.

boredofbeingathome

It is easily done, especially when we are involved with our children..emotions run riot.

It sounds like the head was in defensive mode too as he hadn't a reasonable explanation and probably has a whiff of what is coming!

Horrible situation to be in, but i would try and remain calm and state that you won't be fobbed off with unreasonable explanations. Let the exclusion team or liason officer deal with it and write everything down about the events as you remember them, in the order it happened in. It helps focus the mind and will provide a basis for the team to question the school's procedure and how they provide for Ryan.

If anything they will have to re think their policies and how they deal with situations such as this.

sallyx

Snags I can't offer anymore advice but just wanted to send you a massive hug...oh and one for Ryan too. The education system is a joke at times and that Headmaster should be ashamed of his behaviour!

jinky67

Make sure you tell them everything hun.

Trying to get him to school, how it affects Tash as well, that you are now a single parent and that you are struggling a bit because of that.
They wont think you are a bad parent. And you are not. You are trying to do the best for your family and everyone of us can see that.

He, and you, both deserve far more help than you are getting at present.
As Toto says keep on at them.
Yes, it will be tough, but we are all here for you if you want to rant and rave or cry or just have a laugh.

BIG HUGS for hun xxx

Toto

Snags I went through all of this with my son, he has fragile x syndrome but was never bad enough to get any help. That's what the school told me anyway.

It wasn't until Amber was disgnosed that our rights were made clear (and not by anyone in the educational system, I would like to add) So, my boy suffered through his primary years with no help, being moved from school to school. I once had an experience like yours today, I called the headmaster a wart on the @rse of the educational system, funnily enough we weren't asked back into that school :rotfl:

You have done the right thing, it is perfectly obvious that the school don't want Ryan there. Not because of him, I am 100% sure he is a lovely lad with an awful lot to offer the school, just by being him. The trouble is, mainstream schools have targets to meet and kids like ours don't do the school tables any good, they don't look good on paper.

This school isn't right for Ryan, and to be honest I would be reluctant to send him back there. But, it is unreasonable for the exclusions team to expect you to put your son in a school where he is clearly not being understood or helped. At the same time, you should not have to give up work, puting your family into financial hardship because of the failings of the school.

You might want to think about what you want for him longer term. Do you want him in mainstream school or would he be better in a school for kids with mild/moderate learning disability. Only you know what would be right for Ryan. I am very pro special schools, I think the government pushing kids into mainstream isn't always the right thing to do. Sadly the places are limited in special schools, but they are focused on the individual kids needs and not 1 special child amongst 30 others.