Very worried about my brother - *updated 30th May...*

piglet6

((Hugs)) to Gabyjane and Freakyogre - your brother is lucky to have you both and you should feel proud of your efforts to help him through his problems.

He is in the best place now (at least he is safe, and nobody can "get" him while he is with the police). Don't feel bad... I understand to an extent - a close family member had a breakdown a couple of years ago, and after accompanying him to hospital to admit himself (a secure mental unit) I cried all the way home because I felt that I had let him down. He was an inpatient for 4 months and I visited every day (and spent a lot of my journeys home afterwards in tears...) but it was for the best - he is 99.9% recovered now, and we have come a long, long way.

You haven't lost him (although it feels like you have at the moment) - in reality, you've probably started on the journey to getting him back again, and it will get better and be worth it in the end.

Piglet
x

freakyogre

I see my sister has updated on this and I just want to thank her for staying calm this evening, without her there I really don't know what i'd have done.

I got home around midnight and had a call from a social worker and am absolutely furious.

He sounded really vague and was clearly having more than one conversation. He basically asked if my brother could stay with me tonight? I said that was ok, but I didn't live local and to be honest wasn't happy about him being let out on his own tonight. He said that wasn't a problem, he could bring him to me, but they needed a place to access him.

I asked him what my brother had told them as both my sister and I were concerned that he wouldn't tell them the full story and we couldn't get this information to them. He said that he had told him a few things, but didn't seem like he wanted to tell me. I said that I understood data protection etc. but we had just found our brother on a bloody cliff edge, so to me letting him out tonight is NOT a good idea.

I then heard my brother in the background and the SW said to him "But they're worried about you (name)". The SW asked him if he could tell me what he had told them and my brother said yes.

He has told them that he is being chased/followed by this group of people and that he ad no intention of commiting suicide tonight, he was just looking around (bear in mind he was 1ft away from a cliff edge which leads down to a quarry). He said they needed somewhere to access him as didn't want him sleeping on a park bench tonight? (again, sounding very much like they want to let him go tonight).

I was quite abrupt with the SW and said to him that my brother had NOT told him the full story and told him the details of how he had told us he can hear peoples thoughts and this is why we wanted to get this information to them. I mentioned the instances last night and the SW sounded a bit surprised, so I asked him if my brother had told him any of this? He said that no he hadn't. I said that this is WHY we are so worried and it is more serious than perhaps they think.

I said that if need be I would come back and get my brother, but as I work full time, he would be on his own all day in an area he doesn't know. The man made it sound like I didn't want him here!! I asked him why he couldn't stay there until the assessment had been done and he said that wasn't possible?! I said to him that if they were thinking of letting him go tonight, to please let either me, my sister or my dad know as I really wasn't happy with him on his own. He then said, "your brother wants to speak to you, is that ok?" I said that was fine.

I asked if he was ok and my brother said he was fine. He said sorry for doing this to you all. I asked him what he had told the SW and he said about the group, I said that you haven't told them everything though have you? He said no as wanted to simplify things, I said that they need to know this so they can help. I said to him, you need help.
He said that he would sort it out and not to worry and he's speak to me soon. Then hung up.

The SW had phoned from a witheld number so I have no idea what the hell is going on now. I phoned my sister straight away and told her what he'd said and was half expecting a call back from the SW which didn't happen.

Surely even if he has just told them that this group is after him and they believe it, they wouldn't be willing to just let him out now? Surely even more so if someone has been found on a cliff edge, you don't just let them go!

She has since spoken to him reitterated why we are so worried, but his attitude is that they can't keep him there unless he wants to?! Surely the whole bloody point of this is to get him looked at properly and see what the problem is. He said that he would speak to him again and see if he agreed with being kept there.

My sister has just phoned back and my brother has agreed to be kept there. The man said he would stay there for (up to?) 3 days. Thank god. I hope they can help him, I really do, but he is very clever and we are just worried that he will just convince them that he is ok. We have no idea what happens now, so I suppose we just have to wait and see.


I have calmed down a bit now, but am frankly horrified by the SW's laid back attitude. He didn't seem to take in what we were saying at all.

I am terrified that my brother may now be scared, possibly thinking that we have done this to him and like my sister said, it feels like we've lost him. Even if this does get sorted, I don't think it can ever be the same again. I don't know if he knows we phoned the police for him, or it was just a coincidence they turned up, but I worry that he will never trust us again if he thinks/knows it was us.

BitterAndTwisted

When he's less unwell I'm sure he'll understand how much you all care about him and his welfare

ebaybaby

Im so sorry for both of you.
Sw's have a lot to answer for sometimes, you should have asked the SW was he prepeared to take the blame if he let him go and your brother went off and done something "silly".
You are doing the right thing, Im sure in the future your brother will understand exactly why you have both tried to get him help.
Good luck to all of you, you will be in my ptayers tonight.

CelticStar

gabyjane wrote: »

Assuming you havent read my latest post i have updated the situation. If you have that is a very inappropriate post at this time.

Obviously we cross posted and my post was my advice based on previous posts, that is one of the drawbacks of posting on forums unfortunately. I understand that you are under intense strain and distress and, naturally, no offence or inappropriateness was intended. I will now amend my post so that it does not cause any further problems. I'm very sorry to hear about your brother.

gabyjane

Hi Celtic star i am sorry if i snapped proably posting replys last night was not a good idea as not in a good frame of mind.
Sis you were very brave last night and please don't ever think you did wrong, if you had not come back to me when you dropped him off the worst was inevitably going to happen..he is now safer than he has been in a long time and we have to think like that.
As my sister said i was straight on to the hospital after my brother hung up, i got hold of the SW and i agree with my sister when i say he was the oddest person i have ever spoke to, he sounded sleep deprived..unsure what he was asking/talking about..he slurred through the conversation with odd gaps of silence etc..it was a very frustrating conversation and i urged him no to let him go..i also went through the storys we have told and he seemed a little bit more concerned but still not quite sure..
I got the call back saying around 3 days and we are now just playing a waiting game for them to tell us what they have found out. The voices in my brothers head will probably not be told to them..he knows that others will think he is mad and he may not tell them due to this..i am not convinced this will do much good but have to stay hopeful..will keep updated.

Twinkles08

This must be such a stressful time for you all.I hope that your bro gets the help he needs.You haven't lost him,he's just unwell at the moment.We had a fright with my dad althou it was for different reasons-he was a alcoholic and got the dt's.He heard voices and had extreme paranoia,he thought the police were trying to kill him (infact they were trying to find him to help).He is 99% ok and recovered from this with the help of medication.Obvi it's different but I understand how frightening it is to watch and hear this strange behaviour from a loved one-big huggles to you both x

tori.k

welcome to the nightmare which is the mental health system...
They work on a drug them up shift em out to the CPN policy,..there isnt enough bed's space so if someone isnt lucid enough to want to help themselves, they will be "too crazy for the nut house" (as my friend stated the first time she was sectioned and sent home) get on to your MP as soon as possible if you are not happy with the care he is getting,
the system is failing its all about policy not people...but so many people like to brush it under the carpet when it comes to metal health issues..im counting the days to my friends inquest when the hospital has to answer...as it would never of happened if she recived the care she should have been getting

gabyjane

Tori i think you may be right tbh. I rung them this morning and asked how he was getting one, was told he was fine, getting dressed and was about to see the doctor..they would call me..i left my mobile and went out for the day. sister text me to see if anything had happened and i said no but would ring them as soon as home as it had been hours. I rung and was told he was awaiting the doctor..i said that that was this morning and why had no one rung me?
I keep getting told he is fine etc and he is eating, drinking etc which is all good but i want to know what they are saying..doing. I realise they have lots of peopel to deal with but a bit of commmunication all helps.
I was given his direct line and tbh as awful as it may sound i just can't ring him..i'm scared he will hang up or tell me he hates me, play a laughing game down the phone and tell me he's got them all where he wants them etc..i just can't do it and have worried all day and felt guilty..am relying on them calling me now if not ill be on again first thing.

JEMJAR

gabyjane and freaky ogre, my thoughts are with you both, this was the hardest most frustrating part we had when my mom was ill. Getting a diagnosis out of someone is a nightmare! You don't say what kind of doctor was supposed to be seeing your brother but you really need to get the dopey sw to arrange for a psychiatric assessment, we hounded our doctor for weeks and all he kept saying was she was depressed and she needed to take her antidepressants!! needless to say she wouldn't and until she was sectioned and until she had a proper evaluation we were helpless. If this can be/has been arranged I think it is unlikely your brother will be able to pull the wool over their eyes. Hope things are progressing for you, you are in my thoughts