Very worried about my brother - *updated 30th May...*

Savvy_Sue

Skimmed this, not sure how old your brother is?

some suggestions: your local council may have an outreach team for homeless people, if that's a problem in your area. Their job would be to link up with anyone sleeping rough, especially the very vulnerable (which your brother sounds!) and 'encourage' them to lead a more settled life.

Then, if he's under 25, you may have a Foyer which might be able to work with him and help him 'settle'.

Finally there are Emmaus communities around the country. These can be very good for people who don't quite 'fit', as long as they are prepared to work for the good of the community.

busiscoming2

What a worry for you all, my first reaction on reading your post was Aspergers or Autism, the apple question flagged it up for me. I don't know a great deal about the conditions except that people with either (amongst other things) take what is said literally. Would he see someone to try and get a diagnosis?

gabyjane

Hi well i'm the other sister and i was interested to see the replies. Like my sister i am not entirely sure what aspergers is but will too look into it. I am lost really as what to say as my sister has explained it really well. The fact i see him more makes me worry too as i see and hear him doing things that i just cannot understand..the apple example was a good one and he does this a lot,it is very frustarting when you are having a conversation with him as i particularly forget what we were first talking about! We were out in the garden the other day and i was saying about my work issue to him..most people just comment but he had to know everything about the man in question..where did he live, what exactly did he do, what was his home life like, was he married..the questions go on and it is like this with everything! Like my sister said nothing is black and white and he looks into everything very very deep..i look at my gas bill and think 'ah ok pay that' (well actually i think robbing gits and begrudingly pay it but hey!) he will have prob taken every days readings and examined every part of it after deciding wether it is justifiable to be paid..this is why i'm not sure he would ever cope in a house. Yesterday i said to dh that he should pay to stay on a proper campsite, there is one near us..it would be cheap, he would be safer in my eyes, he would be able to cook as elec etc and i will metion it to him but i can guaruntee that he will have an excuse..we will see..i will report when i ahve seen him!

Thanks for the repies btw..and thanks freaky for posting this! x

looby75

I haven't got anything practical to suggest but I didn't want to read and run

My one of my sisters is a bit like like your brother, maybe not quite as bad as she has a flat a son, but she does struggle with the "normal life" and as we always joke needs to know the inside out of a fart lol She can be incredibly frustrating to talk to at time. I would love to put her and your brother in a room together because she's got an excuse for everything we suggest to her too, it would be an interesting conversation lol

Anyway I hope you manage to get through to your brother and that he is safe. I know it can be a worry.

LilMissEmmylou

If you watch waterloo road on the BBC there is a girl with aspergers in it, it might give you an idea of how their minds can work.

I would be inclined to inform the police of the story of people following him etc just in case it is true and something did happen to happen to him.

whitewing

I wonder if he could be schizophrenic? I agree that from bits of your post that it could be mental illness.

I also know that when things get written down they can take on a life and direction of their own, so one would have to at least have met your brother before deciding if the points we're choosing to focus on are valid.

ellissa

Like others on here, the first thing that comes to mind from 2 things that you mentioned - the apple thing and the sandwich questions - is that he could be on the Autistic Spectrum. These 2 things are classic 'Aspergers' but saying that, Aspergers/Autism are so complex that these 2 things alone do not mean he has these conditions.

louise540056

ellissa wrote: »

Like others on here, the first thing that comes to mind from 2 things that you mentioned - the apple thing and the sandwich questions - is that he could be on the Autistic Spectrum. These 2 things are classic 'Aspergers' but saying that, Aspergers/Autism are so complex that these 2 things alone do not mean he has these conditions.

Totally agree- I work with special needs children and it sounds very much like he could be on the Autism Spectrum somewhere- it all sounds so familiar!

I really feel for you both- it must be so worrying

RosaBernicia

Some of what you have described sounds similar to a relative of mine. He's on mental health benefits and at one point was diagnosed as schizophrenic - we don't know if that's actually the case as he won't talk to anyone in the family about his healthcare any more (very long and depressing story).

Regardless of the name of the difficulty, it sounds like he's frightened. Perhaps it might be worth talking to an info line at one of the mental health charities such as Mind (www.mind.org.uk ) or Sane (www.sane.org.uk) ? They might be able to suggest further information or help - for you in dealing with the situation, even if he won't see anyone.

I hope he is safe and that things work out for you all

Rosa x

Sparky09

While he clearly has a few issues, I disagree he sounds mentally ill just because he doesn't want to live the normal life of working until you drop, just to put a roof over his head, pay bills, and hand 20% of earnings over in tax. If I did not have a child, and more to the point had not fallen in love young and been trapped in to the life mentioned above, I would of liked to live free like your brother.

I'm not sure how long until, and I'm sure I would have grown bored of the lifestyle by late 20's, but if your brother claims to enjoy it, thats fair enough. Sure he will enjoy your possessions when he visits, but its healthy he can live with out them. Upon recently moving, I sold or got just got rid of all my possessions except a minimum amount of clothes, and my wife raised eyebrows but I realised I just didn't need them to make me feel content.

As for the apple comment, I thing this can really go two ways. Some people who answer like this are called deep and insightful, instead of weird! Personally I would call them a smart alec, and just find them annoying, but some people are applauded for this behaviour.

As for the gang of 50, surely they must be kids? Kids roam woods in big packs to play, and I'm sure if they see what they percieve as a strange man they will invent all sorts of stories and target him, but I'm sure their harmless. 50 is clearly exaggerated, but he's probably a little embarrassed to say hes being targeted by kids, so a bigger number just seemed appropiate.

I can understand why a relative like this would cause you a lot of concern, but if hes happy in his little world I wouldn't worry about it, I'm sure he'll grow out of it eventually and if not, at least he experiences a feeling of freedom that most 'normal' people go a whole life time with out finding.