How do you move on after the loss of a pet?

bestpud

Sorry you've lost your dog too.

Mine died (well we had him put to sleep) just before Easter and I still haven't put his beds away, and I still look in his 'upstairs bed' every morning and wonder why he's sleeping downstairs.

I have put his bowl away now and I've just today thrown away his medicine but his lead is still hung on the hook.

I just tell myself it will take as long as it takes and it's natural to mourn a member of the family. He'd been ill for a while so we knew it was coming, and I thought that would help, but in reality I think it hurts just as much however they go.

He was 12 too and it helps to know he had a good life with us, as I know he was happy with his life. I'm glad you can take comfort in that too.

I hope you find a job if that is what you want to do.

Do you think you will get another one? I ask as my children would like one but I'm dragging my heels, mainly I think because I dread going through this ever again, and I can't imagine another dog in his place iyswim.

A quick thank you to soubrette too, as she has helped me enormously over the last few weeks, but she already knows that!

Keep posting Emma - there are some great people on this site and feel free to pm me if you want to chat anytime (I don't come on this board very often).

hethmar

I always say never again, but think about those little souls sitting in pounds and rescues all over the country, desperate for a warm bed and a cuddle.

The pain is what you have to pay for many years of love and happiness - its a price that ultimately is worth it.

YorkiePud_3

I think the thing to remember is that you will NEVER have another dog, cat, bird, hamster etc who will be the same as the friend you have lost.

If you are thinking about getting a pet to do the same things or who will be the same as one who has gone, then don't buy one because you will be disappointed.

I have had so many wonderful animals, all of them different. Each of them had such wonderful characters and gave so much to my family in different ways.

The last but one was a chihuahua who was my shadow. He wouldn't even eat his dinner until I sat down and waited for him to eat it. He lived his life around me, laying there staring at me till he fell asleep.
He was a rescue and I think took his cue from me in every situation so I had to do everything with him in mind ... just to make sure he had the best life I could give him.
Don't get me wrong, I didn't mollycoddle him, but I definitely had to put more work into him and looking after him than I have had to with any other pet.
I think that is why we became the closest of pals ... why he latched onto me more than anyone else in the family.

So having that relationship, it was devastating to lose him nearly 3 years ago now ... then I heard about a breeder who was trying to get rid of some 5 week old pups .. (terrible, eh?) ... I was in time to rescue one of them (the chap in my picture thingydufer under my name).

It's been hard this time round .. I suppose, and it hurts me to say it, I suppose at first I thought and probably expected that I was going to have another little shadow who was going to be good as gold and wanted to spend so much time with me, playing and going for walks ... this little guy I have now is sooooo independent and if he doesn't want to be with you, he'll take himself off and lay down wherever .. maybe another room.

If my previous dog was a talkative chat show host, this one would be Greta Garbo ... I've just never felt any sort of closeness with him at all.

I could cry just re-reading what I have just put ... don't get me wrong, I love him to bits and if he was hurt or needed help, I'm there ... but I just haven't got the attachment with him as I have had with my other pets.

I think part of it is me being silly, expecting there would be ... but no, every animal is different, and if you want one, as I say, to do the same things, or expecting them to have the same temperament as a lost pet, then take some time and think it through if you would be able to accept a pet who might be so different.

It's been a hard lesson for me to learn ... *S* ... but I am still struggling a bit to be honest! We'll get there, though ...

Miroslav

I have the 'what if's '

I keep asking myself 'did I do something wrong?' 'did I give her too much painkiller or not enough?' 'Did I feed her the right diet?' 'Did I protect her enough?'

The truth is, all of us loving pet lovers, do our very best. So many animals are mistreated and unloved. We did our best and it WAS good enough. Our pets appreciate everything we do for them.

denice37

my thoughts are with you emma, and i agree with all the comments here, give yourself time to grieve and cry, he was part of your family and bring yourself comfort knowing he had the best life with you and maybe in the future you'll feel ready to share that love with another animal. Best wishes.

hethmar

I think Yorkie, that one of the reasons for getting a mature dog is that you can see their personality. Pups are all playful but then they change as they become adults. Im sure you love your little one, but I understand that his personality doesnt fit yours, as your previous boys did but may be his independence would suit another person perfectly. I wonder if you would consider a companion for him (and you )

Thats why getting a rescue who is already developed is often the best idea. I ADORE my little Diggs, as soon as I met him at the rescue I knew he fitted with me perfectly, he is with me all the time and when he lays next to me at night I can feel the love coming from him - he will open his eyes, just look at me, give a sleepy wag of his tail and go off to sleep again. We are soul mates. My darling Ralph, we had as a puppy who was born disabled and due to be pts. I love him to bits but he does not interact with me like Diggs does. Luckily his personality fits well with my husband who doesnt need affection as much as me and he is daddys boy.

Mutter_2

Emma, are you coping? xxxxx

Miroslav

Thoughts are with you Emma.

lab-lover

How are getting along Emma? xx

Been thinking of you now and again.

mrcow

I've lost a few pets over the years. All bunnies. And all very hard to take.

I'm one of those people who tends to loop in the disbelief>anger>despair>acceptance cycle and just gets stuck. Although each time I go through it, it becomes a little more bearable.

It just takes time to come to terms with what has happened. How much time - no one can say. There is no rulebook. If there was, perhaps we'd not suffer so much.



Just always remember that grief is the price that you pay for love.

You grieve because you have loved and because you have been loved.

No matter how hard your loss is, no one can ever take that from you.