How do you move on after the loss of a pet?

Topbird

It's never easy getting over a pet that has passed. Its also made harder by non-pet owners not quite understanding.

My dog died suddenly 5 years ago, completely out the blue and it was so hard. I thought the best thing to do was get a placement so I kind of 'borrowed' one of my mums dogs (she shows and breeds them so has plenty!) but the hardest part was not having her in the house but walking her. We bumped into people that we acknowledge over the park and people noticed that it was a different dog, or commented on the fact they hadn't seen us for a few days - having to explain that my old firl had died was so tough. Oooh bringing tears just typing it.....

Anyhow, the dog I borrowed.... she now lives with me! But it took a while.

I made a collage of photos and hung it up above her lead and ball, which still remain there. I had her cremated and planted a rose bush with her remains. The plant died, but I replaced it using the same soil!! I laugh everytime I water the 'new' one.

Sending hugs and love your way Emma. You never get over it but it becomes easier to cope with.

xxxxxx

Mutter_2

"Non pet owners", Topbird. A house is a home with pets.

Fleago

I agree with the others, you need to have time to grieve, Emma. To be honest, you never get over losing a beloved pet, you just learn to live with them being gone. I've got a lot of dog shaped and one cat shaped holes in my heart.

With my last dog to die, I knew that it was likely because he was being booked into surgery and if the vet found what he feared he would, he was going to phone me to confirm our decision to just let him slip away under the surgery anaesthetic. So on that last morning, I took him out for a walk in the park and we sat in the sun and I brushed him for what I knew in my heart was the last time. I kept the ball of his fur from that last grooming in a little bag and it was several years before I could bring myself to get rid of it.

I look at our current three and know that I have to face the pain of their deaths at some point; I can bring myself to tears just by thinking of it. But I comfort myself by acknowledging that as terrible and awful as the pain of losing them will be, it is the price I have to pay for their years of devotion and the unconditional love they have given me. And for all of that, the terrible pain is a small price to pay.

So Emma, mourn your best boy as he deserves, cry for him when you have to and when you feel low because the house is empty, be still and quiet and you will still hear his tail thump on floor, or his bark of joy to see you, breathe in deep and you will still smell his own doggy smell, put your hand out and you will still sense the feel of his fur, for although he is gone from you physically, he still lives on in your memories, where he will stay for the rest of your days.

Take care,

Fleago

lostinrates

I'm so sorry emma12345.

Its so individual, not just t the person, but to the different pets one person might have. I lost one ''pet'' some 8 years ago and I can't stand to see her pictures still, nor to here her name. I wasn't with her at the time, and that mkes it worse. Sometimes I think I see her...I always wonder if she was just ''kept'' by the people taking care of her for me and not dead...even though rationally I know she did die, the vet confirmed it, but I didn't see her. I feelI failed her very badly. I had her mother too, and I feel I failed her mother, in letting bad happen to her baby. I can't even face ''replacing her'' wih the same breed/type, I can't look at photos.

Other pets, who I have loved as much its been different with. My childhood cat for example, was a true friend: we'd been together as babies together, till I left from university. She waited till my first midterm break then died. When DH and I decided toget a cat I knew I wanted one of the same breed, and colour, as her, because she was perfect and perfectly beautiful to me. We got two, in fact. but the one who looks most like her is also the one who is my cat soul mate. It doesn't hurt at all that she is so similar to the one who came befoe her, and the former cat's photo is always to hand: the first cat opened my heart to all those who will come after her.

My point is, that the two deaths affected me very differently, though I loved both animals very dearly. You have to just do whats right for you and know that they loved you too and that you did what you could in their life, and at the end, to provide the best for them. Much of howe I cope 'afterward' is wht I did ''before''.

eamon

Some years ago I lived with my sister and she had a dulux dog. He died of luekemia (went from fit & healthy to really ill in a matter of a few weeks) and the house was so dead and empty. You get used to having pets and all their associated bits & pieces. After about 3 months my sister couldn't take it no more and acquired a Westien pup.
My first cat vanished (I believe that he was cat napped, beautiful markings etc) within months I had a new kitten, couldn't put up with the empty house. I now have 2 cats and will probably always have pets until I am longer able to look after them.

CFC

emma12345 wrote: »

Hi, I lost my dog yesterday evening, he had been slowing down for a while, had arthritis, but I still didn't expect to find him in the kitchen that way. Probably a heart attack. He was 12.

Does anyone have any tips on how to get over the loss of an animal? The house feels so empty and lonely without him, I miss him so much. I had him since he was 3 months old and he was very much part of the family. I work at home and don't even want to be in the house, it feels too lonely now.

How do I stop crying and get a grip?

Em

You can't just get over it. It takes time. 12 years is a very long time to be part of your life. It's normal to cry and miss him. Frankly you'd be a bit of a monster if you had a pack animal for 12 years and then weren't upset when he went. Of course you miss him. Having a pet you have a hostage to heartbreak - because we generally outlive them.

Sooner or later you'll want another dog, and you'll probably get one, and that new one won't replace your beloved old boy in your heart, but he'll be loved for himself.

hethmar

Im so very sorry to hear of your loss. As others have said, take comfort in the fact he would have known he was much loved. So many many dogs never know that care and love.

You will get over the worse pain, you will one day be able to smile when you think about things he got up to but at the moment you cant believe that because I never do and Ive lost 6 dogs in my lifetime. Each and every one of them are still in my heart, even if it is something like 40 years since my first childhood dog died.

Try to keep busy, dont dwell on the pain because it wont ease it for you. One day when you feel able, look at all the other poor little devils stuck in pounds and rescues and give your love to another one that needs you.

God bless xxxx

MrsE_2

emma12345 wrote: »

Hi, I lost my dog yesterday evening, he had been slowing down for a while, had arthritis, but I still didn't expect to find him in the kitchen that way. Probably a heart attack. He was 12.

Does anyone have any tips on how to get over the loss of an animal? The house feels so empty and lonely without him, I miss him so much. I had him since he was 3 months old and he was very much part of the family. I work at home and don't even want to be in the house, it feels too lonely now.

How do I stop crying and get a grip?

Em

I lost Ted (red persian) in October last year, suddenly, the vet thinks it was a heart attack too.
I have tears in my eyes now reading mutters & your threads.
You don't get over it, but you remember to fun more than the pain after a while.
In the beginging its all pain, now I remember lots of good times & occasionally something triggers the tears.

meerkat2007

I'm so sorry for your loss, Emma. All you can do is let things take their course - you will stop crying when you no longer need to cry. You've lost a member of your family, and you need to grieve.

Deep_In_Debt

It takes time and sometimes things make you remember but you may learn to smile but there is nothing wrong with shedding a tear or two. I lost my beloved cat 5 years ago and I still miss her. This might sound weird but I use her name as password on my computer at work and home etc and whenever I logon, I think of her with a smile as her memory lives on in me.

A year later, I got myself a couple of rescue cats who I love dearly; they've not replaced her but they give me a different focus now.

There is no time limit on grieving - we all do it in different ways. I send you my wishes.