How do you move on after the loss of a pet?

lowis

So sorry you lost you doggie *hugs*

I'll be honest with you, it takes some time, you have lost a member of your family, something you loved dearly...and you will grieve accordingly.

I would suggest that you let yourself feel the pain, have a cry when you need to...never bottle things up. Talk to close friends who understand how you feel, talk about your doggie, reminisce...just don't shut things away.

He may have passed on, but he is still alive within you - through memories and remembered love. Put a picture up of him on your sideboard (or where ever), maybe light a candle for him every now and then, keep something that reminds you of him. If you are inclined maybe get your dogs ashes and keep them in the house somewhere special.

I lost Stormie last June and the pain at first was heart-wrenching...but everyday it gets a little better - only a little - but it all adds up until one day you can look at movies/pictures of your pet without crying and feeling the pain you feel right now...the tears DO turn to smiles...I promise you.

Take care...don't forget to look after yourself...that is VERY important x

emma12345

Thanks for all your replies, they have been a great comfort to me. It's shown me that you can move on eventually but it doesn't mean that you've forgotten them or left them behind. I will get a photo enlarged and put it on the wall and plant a rose in the garden with his ashes. I'll never forget him.

I know this will take a while and I think I've accepted he's gone now. I was constantly out in the garden or in the places he used to be saying "where are you, show me a sign that you're there" - don't know what I expected to happen, lol! But now I know he's gone and there won't be any signs. It hurts but you have to move on because what's the alternative? He hated it when anyone was miserable, always tried to comfort them and cheer them up, so he wouldn't have wanted this misery now. So I need to stop the tears and move on and I will eventually.

I've gone over the day he died again and again, could I have done anything differently? I wish I could live it again like Groundhog day and change the outcome, but I think in reality it was too late. Maybe it was his time to go, I don't know. But I do know if I have another dog in the future (and I probably will, this time is awful but we had 12 good years) then I'll take them to the vet for the tiniest thing, just in case.

When the children are at school and the house is empty is the worst time as I used to work at home with the dog by my side. Now I've started applying for jobs outside the home, hopefully if I get one that'll solve that problem.

Thank you again for all your replies, you are very kind.

Em
X

JennyW_2

Hello Emma. I'm so sorry for loss I too have a dog and dread the day I will lose him. He's 10 now so I hope I still have a few more years with him but it scares me how I'll cope without him.

Things will ease over time and I'm sure when the time is right, you'll get a new doggie to love and offer a comfy home too. Once a dog owner, always a dog owner

Have you thought about a memory box? You could place his collar, favourites toys, photos in here - anything really that reminds you of him.

Mutter_2

emma12345 wrote: »

Thanks for all your replies, they have been a great comfort to me. It's shown me that you can move on eventually but it doesn't mean that you've forgotten them or left them behind. I will get a photo enlarged and put it on the wall and plant a rose in the garden with his ashes. I'll never forget him.

I know this will take a while and I think I've accepted he's gone now. I was constantly out in the garden or in the places he used to be saying "where are you, show me a sign that you're there" - don't know what I expected to happen, lol! But now I know he's gone and there won't be any signs. It hurts but you have to move on because what's the alternative? He hated it when anyone was miserable, always tried to comfort them and cheer them up, so he wouldn't have wanted this misery now. So I need to stop the tears and move on and I will eventually.

I've gone over the day he died again and again, could I have done anything differently? I wish I could live it again like Groundhog day and change the outcome, but I think in reality it was too late. Maybe it was his time to go, I don't know. But I do know if I have another dog in the future (and I probably will, this time is awful but we had 12 good years) then I'll take them to the vet for the tiniest thing, just in case.

When the children are at school and the house is empty is the worst time as I used to work at home with the dog by my side. Now I've started applying for jobs outside the home, hopefully if I get one that'll solve that problem.

Thank you again for all your replies, you are very kind.

Em
X

Em, your post has floored me. The could I have done things differently? Please don't cut yourself up over it.
12 years is a good age for any dog. Whether the shock of finding your dog, or mine being long and drawn out is worse, I've no idea.

The emptiness I've found in the past is horrible. Stepping back off a chair when cleaning windows, thinking the dog was behind me.
Walking in and forgetting. Waking up and forgetting . It's all hateful. It does pass with time, but you never forget.
The forum members on the pet thread are incredibly kind, when they recognise true pet lovers.
If you need an ear, message me. x

ETA, Em, my life changed totally too on behalf of Jaffa. Stay at home etc, they take over your life. Now as he is so ill, change again.

Frugalista

emma12345 wrote: »

I know this will take a while and I think I've accepted he's gone now. I was constantly out in the garden or in the places he used to be saying "where are you, show me a sign that you're there" - don't know what I expected to happen, lol! But now I know he's gone and there won't be any signs.

Oh! But Emma there will be! When you stop hurting and grieving for him something will happen to remind you of him.

I had one little girl who loved music on the TV with brass bands, etc in it. She used to !!!!! up her ears and howl along with the music - she could do soft and loud - I used to say she could hold a tune :rotfl:. She was taken from me almost 10 years ago - but every time the theme tune for M.A.S.H. or The Antiques Roadshow comes on she's back here with me "singing" along for all she's worth. I swear I can hear her - and it makes me smile, because I know she's sending me a sign that she is still "around".

It's hard now - but it will get easier. One day you will be able to say "Do you remember ....." and smile at the memory :A.

YorkiePud_3

There'll be signs ... there always are ... but it will be at a time when it won't tear you apart to get them.

WolfSong2000

It's never easy losing a animal, as they're essentially part of the family. All mine are getting on in years now (eldest is 17 - but I swear he'll outlive us all! - middle one is 14 and youngest is 12). My "youngest" boy is now going deaf and blind...was heartbreaking when I tried calling him a few months ago and he couldn't figure out where I was calling from (despite the fact I was standing no more than 6 feet away at the time Had one PTS a few years ago (old age) and I couldn't even bring myself to be there when it happened (he died peacefully at home...vet is a neighbour, so Sam (dog) knew him. His "fanclub" was also present - family friends and neighbors.

Also lost a Springer Spaniel named Jasper last year to cancer...didn't own him, but my mother used to dogsit and he was a "regular", so came to be like part of the family...saw our place as a second home, so it was tough when I heard he'd passed away. He got more lethargic toward the end, but when he looked at you there was still that same cheeky glint in his eye a lot of the time...I'll never forget that look - or him running round the house with some underwear in his mouth (he loved underwear and socks) with someone frantically chasing after him. lol. .

Claire_xx

lab-lover wrote: »

My sympathies to you:sad:

Tell yourself he was well cared for and loved, had a good life, which is tons more than some dogs get.

Sorry thats the only words I can offer you.

Sending you a big hug

Id second this. Im sure you fussed over him and loved him and he will have had a fab life. Its so so sad. My cats are 4 and 2 and the youngest was born in my wardrobe and has always lived at my house. I would be devestated if anything happened to him xx One day you will think of the good times with him and smile Chin upx:A

CFC

emma12345 wrote: »

I've gone over the day he died again and again, could I have done anything differently? I wish I could live it again like Groundhog day and change the outcome, but I think in reality it was too late. Maybe it was his time to go, I don't know. But I do know if I have another dog in the future (and I probably will, this time is awful but we had 12 good years) then I'll take them to the vet for the tiniest thing, just in case.


X

Sweetie, 12 is a good age for a dog. You could have done nothing to prevent his passing. His time had come, as it comes to all our furry family members. Please don't either keep going over 'what if' or when you get a new pet, start being neurotic. Death is natural, and comes to us all in the end.

hethmar

Everyone does the what ifs, be it for lost pets or lost humans. You cant live your life what iffing. You can only do the best you can at the time and you have done that.

Hope you feel a bit better today xxx