The ultimate incentive worked! Now onto phase two

roomontheend

Birdie85 wrote: »

I've got the tiniest pile of work myself Cinny, I'm dragging it out as much as I can but it'll run out very soon!

Stop showing off, things are so busy at school at the moment I think it's a treat if I get to have a pee. lol

Flower08

No its not £100 a month, its something to do with the fact that he started the contract a month earlier than his old one should have finished. Not really sure, he explained it and it kinda made sense but then i switched off!!
The only good thing out of it is orange have told him he wont have another bill for 3 months.

Dinah93

It's only ten more days of not seeing each other much. I guess I don't really feel like we don't have much time together as all the time we are both off work we're together, we're never even in different rooms. Plus when I'm driving about for work I always have my phone on loudspeaker so we can chat. I guess having time together is all well and good, but what's the point if you're just sat at home? I can't sit and watch tv, a film is my max sitting still time, and there is only so much of the rest of a day you can fill up being coupley (ahem!). We've got the theatre on wed, should get some time this weekend, then thur-monday we'll be with one another non stop when we're in Ireland. After that iy'll be fine cos we'll have every evening and weekend.

Urgh, I'm a bit peeved at money today. Would feel better if we'd got some money in from somewhere, anywhere, to up our £20 a day challenge so I felt like we were getting somewhere. I'm really looking forward to having weekends together soon. Trying to do NIMs MS reports tonight so he only has to check them and make a few changes when he gets in.

Birdie85

LOL sorry ROTE!

Sorry your day is all sucky and horrid Dinah, things will settle down money wise soon, it is just a temporary setback!

Good news workwise, my boss has agreed that horride scary nail lady is a nasty bully type and is going to be sitting at the empty desk between us for the rest of the week to see what she gets up to and to give her 'what for' if she steps out of line!

OH seems to be in a sulk with me, he's just skulked off to the bedroom to watch TV even though I'm not watching anything in the living room! We have been contemplating getting married somewhere in the Caribbean but I'm not entirely convinced about it because a) it's a lot of money to ask people to pay so they can come with us and b) I don't really want to go on holiday with both our families together. His family are OK in small doses, by which I mean a meal but even that can drag on too long IYKWIM. I just voiced these concerns (not about how little of his family I can cope with!) to OH (who in the past has stated very clearly that he does not want to go on holiday with my family, but that's different!) and now he's taken the hump because I 'hate' his family and don't want them at my wedding! If this is what I get for being honest and wanting to have a genuine discussion about what we want and what we can actually do then I'll just shut up and let him organise it all! I just want it to be special for me, this is my wedding and I don't want to feel like I can't relax because his brothers are always lurking about expecting OH to entertain them, he is the ring leader so I know it'll happen! And they won't fit in there and I know it is very snobby to say so, but I know that they'll embarrass me. Urgh... don't know what to do!

Dinah93

I think it's a fair comment Birdie, and you need to be comfortable on your wedding day. When you talk to him later maybe throw in other reasons like 'I've been thinking about it and the more I do, the more I feel like I'd be missing out if I couldn't have all our friends to celebrate there with us'.

Personally I'd find it quite stressfull getting married abroad, I'd rather have abroad for my honeymoon and do the celebration with everyone around me. You both have a right to have imput into how the day is, but that shouldn't be at the expense of one another. Give him a bit of time to calm down and I'm sure it'll work out.

Is there any reason he doesn't want to get married at home?

Flower08

Birdie - i think you are being perfectly fair. In my experience most people go abroad to marry to get away from celebrating with all their family and friends - to avoid the hassle. I know thats the reason my parents married abroad. It would be so much more stressful if you wanted everyone there with you, trying to arrange everything in a different country.

Im sure if you talk to him he will understand

x

Birdie85

I think he has some issues with not being 'good enough' in people's eyes. He really cares about what people think about him, whereas I couldn't care less. I said we can do a really cheap wedding here then go away for a brilliant honeymoon on our own and he just turned his nose up at having a 'rubbish' wedding. I know what his problem is; his friends have wealthy parents and when they get married it'll be in fancy hotels and castles, not in a registry office so he wants to be able to say 'We're getting married in the Caribbean, you can come if you can afford it' and feel like something special.

For me it just feels like whatever I do isn't going to be right and keeping everyone happy already feels like it is weighing me down and we've barely started planning! I have to say that his brothers are going to be a pain in my backside wherever we get married, but I can't decide if it'll be better dealing with them in paradise or if they'll just taint it for me!

Dinah93

He thinks very little of his friends if he thinks they'll think like that! I have never felt less of my friends who get married somewhere basic, my next wedding in about 3 weeks is in a registry office with a buffet at a social club, too small for people even to bring their other halfs, but I feel really chuffed that she invited me to share her special day, and I love seeing my friends as happy as they are on their wedding day. Tbh I respect the people who pay for their own wedding, usually it is what they want, not what their parents want as well. Lots of fancy things doesn't make the day better, having your loved ones there does.

Keep his brothers on familiar territory, less to go wrong! The idea of planning a wedding scares me too, but remember why you're doing this, go in there and give him a hug. Life's too short to argue.

Birdie85

I just went in to see him and fuss over him and I just got his fake smile 'fine' face... gah, I'm in the dog house!

He really has got inferiority issues, I think he got it from his Mum...thanks a lot MIL! I haven't been to any weddings recently, but I'm sure that I'd rather go to small, happy affairs than big flashy shows of fake wealth!

Dinah93

Lol okay, its his turn to make an effort now then! Flashy weddings are impersonal anyway. Give him some time, I'm sure he'll come around. Could all his family afford to go to a foreign wedding anyway?

Bawling my eyes out at 'The Bucket List' atm.