Just want to be debt free

kadiya

Well, I'm definitely Adult number 1
Problem is though, he acts like a 14 year old most times...huffs and puffs, rolls his eyes, argues back if I ask him to do something. So when he actually acts like an adult, it's quite a shock to the system!
It wasn't like this when we first met...not even by a long shot.
I wish that it was just depression that affected him, but it's a whole host of problems that even CBT failed to help with, so he is now in therapy...kind of :rolleyes:
I have tried to "follow the rules" as set down by the psychologist, but he finds it easier to be the way he is than make some definite change, because that takes work and effort.
He has even admitted as much :mad:
It's causing problems now though. I've done my part, more than my fair share, and find it hard that I'm not being met half way. I don't see what more or how much more I can do, and have told him as much.
We came close to breaking today, because I can't handle much more.
Alls I want is my home to be nice and clean, my kids to be fed, clean and clothed and my husband to get off of his bottom and pull his weight and get the bits of DIY and gardening done without me having to beg or shout.
I'm in nesting mode.
And thats all I want.
I dont want perfect or perfection, I just want stuff done.
As for help, funding was cut in my area, so there is very little available now :mad:
Stupid government funding ~mutters to herself~
I'm now off to find milk because acid reflux is an absolute killer

kadiya

loupee wrote: »

Hi,
Just wanted to say I've just read your whole diary and really admire what you are doing, it cant be easy!
I only have my boyfriend to worry about. He took my last 3 pounds off me to have a Starbucks before work, he really isn't getting the grasp of 'spending less money' and he's a chef so he lives it up on steaks and such like at work, it'll be a shock to the system when he's in the army. I take a packed lunch with, had to have a cereal bar instead of a sandwich today cos the bread had gone mouldy :mad: but a client brought us in samosas which cheered me up no end.
Anyway, just a completely random story for you there!
But thats me :rotfl:
Anyway I'm looking forward to seeing how you get on. You can do it, and you know it! Just stick by what you are already doing, you know the long-term benefits, even if the rest of the family haven't caught up yet!

Lou x

LOL nice to meet you Lou
And don't worry, I do random REALLY well :rotfl::rotfl:

kadiya

It's just too hot :eek:
Well, update for today:
I had to start a dispute with an ebay seller yesterday :sad: I've never done this before and it's really unfamiliar territory for me.
I've been waiting 31 days now for the item that I bought from them, and it's been excuse after excuse as to why it hasn't turned up. I've had to do the running round because they are really pants at comms, but instead of trying to work it out with me, I just got demands to close down the dispute and that they had sent me loads of messages...they had sent me 4 in reply to my messages.
It's awful, because I have never had problems with ANY seller on ebay, and them starting to get abusive last night meant I didn't sleep well. I don't do well with confrontation at the minute...can you tell :rolleyes:
I've been advised not to close down the dispute until the item has turned up, because if I close it and the item still doesnt turn up, I can't complain again. oh well, I dont really knnow what else to do

Other negatives for today:
The heat
Spent money today on the following ;
Nappies/wipes
Food for Dinner (It's too hot for corned beef hash )
Garden Rake
No Nails
Wood Glue
Paying bills
Beer for MOTH
Schloer for me!!! (I got a treat!!!can you believe it!!!)
Paint Rollers
Paid for Kleeneze stuff MOTH ordered :rolleyes:
The lawnmower finally gave up and died...RIP
My house is a tip

Positives
I got the fan ALL to myself today
We did a budget today!
The outstanding bills got paid
The bills full stop got paid
Had a letter from the Sure Start place to say I will get my grant tomorrow :T:T:T
I got a lie in this morning :j

AM so happy that the grant will be in the account tomorrow.It will pay off quite a chunk on the overdraft, which means I can call the bank and have the overdraft reduced :j:j
I have finally managed to find someone who will come and stay with us over my due date too, which is a big relief.I was figuring at this rate I would have to go into hospital by myself, and to be honest, thats not what I want to do. I'd love to have a home birth, but don't think I would get NHS support for them considering my circumstances :rolleyes: so I need to have someone here to look after the kids while MOTH and I head into hospital. Either way, it's quite relief to know there will be an extra person here for a week :T
Am really proud of MOTH today.
He was the one who went out and bought the stuff in that we needed, and he didn't go nuts...which is what he would normally do...he's go out with the card or cash and would come back with bags of stuff that dont even vaguely resemble what we need at all. I think a little of what I said might have made it's way through all that stuffing in his head :rotfl:

Might go through a cashback site to order a new lawn mower through the catalogue. It would have to be quite a cheap one though, as we are poor AND MOTH is well known for breaking gardening tools:mad: Since we have been together, he has broken 4 hedge trimmers, a rake, a spade, a lawnmower (how we ended up with the handmedown lawnmower) and thats just the big stuff :rolleyes: :rotfl:
Heard from a friend yesterday that she is moving house and apparently it is beautiful.
I was really happy for her, she will be moving in with her boyfriend and it will be a great new start for them both, as well as her daughter

But do you think it's ok for me to admit that I'm just a little bit jealous?

So, thats me for today! My youngest has just been singing the cbeebies bedtime song and it's time for kisses, cuddles and bed!
Then I'll get to spy, erm, I mean read other peoples diaries for a bit

kissjenn

You must be frazzled. It's too hot up here.

I'm Scottish - I DON'T DO HEAT...make it stop.

I bought something recently off Tesco Direct through Quidco...they've lots of discount vouchers at the moment.... Gardening and DIY

Get £5 off when you spend £30 on Gardening > or DIY >
£5 off

Enter the eCoupon code TD-KLYY in the direct checkout. Place your order by Sunday 5th July 2009

And you get you Quidco cash back. Worth a look.

Or really really free - any on freecycle?

kadiya

oooh, thanks for that Jen!I'll definitely go and take a look at that one!
As for freecycle, would love to, but have got no way of picking anything up, and they keep changing the rules on there too...long story, but it just isn't worth the hassle lol
I am frazzled, I'm not scottish and I still DONT DO heat. It kills me every time.
Secretly, I'm looking forward tot he rain this weekend...lets hope that the weather man was telling the truth about the rain, otherwise he will have to go into hiding...

kadiya

am soooo tired and in pain.
Not as much rain as the weather man promised, but it feels a bit cooler this evening which is a plus.
NSD today which is good, and I had lots of help putting food together tonight, so by the time my body had enough there was very little left to do and MOTH was able to take over.
Very pleased about the sure staart money going in, it took the overdraft down lower than £700 which I was thrilled about, so I really need to get all my bits of paperwork and stuff together to see what it is that I owe on catalogues and stuff now, especially as we bought some extras on the catalogues not too long ago.
Think I'll do it when I have more energy though, I just don't have enough to exist, never mind think.

Pinky15

Hi there - just thought I would say well done! you sound like you are making good progress in getting organised. i have 3 little ones and god my house is always a tip. I feel like giving up some days. i also have started meal planning myself to cut down the money we spend in this area. take care x

kissjenn

Time to kick back and relax. MOTH is enjoying his new found skills, keep encouraging him to improve them by lots and lots of practise

Did you know that a husky's tongue is so long it can wrap right round a FAB lolly ... I had the choccie bit and held the stick while she had the strawberry ice ... happy husky.

kadiya

Hi Pinky :)nice to meet you!
I know what you mean about giving up on the cleaning. It's pretty much a thankless task.
Mind you, saying that, my oldest did the dishes and a load of washing for me, and MOTH has told me that even though he is "ill" he is going to cook tea for us tonight!:j
They are trying to be good to me, especially MOTH as he is quite worried about my health. Woke up this morning with the shakes...I've no idea why or how, but hey, last trimester is always the most fun

You are right Jen, MOTH is definitely starting to feel more confident around the kitchen. It's funny, cause we have been together 4 years, and I KNOW he would make a great cook. He's definitely got Bolognaise down to a fine art :rotfl::rotfl:
I cant believe you only ate the chocolate bit from a FAB lolly...that my trick
I'll bet your husky was definitely one happy doggy yesterday! (but by heck thats a big tongue!)

Fire_Fox

Just read through your diary and had a couple of thoughts on the food situation. Firstly do you have a slow cooker? You can use it to make meals from cheap cuts of meat or dried beans padded with lots of cheap veg, the preparation is five minutes then the food is left for hours with no chance of burning. There will be no excuse for OH not to cook ...

Secondly your shopping list contains an awful lot of prepared food and an awful lot of sugary stuff. That won't help your energy levels, nor your OH's mental health. I know from personal experience and as I work in healthcare. I hope you don't mind me saying that - I didn't realise myself how much we were spending on chocolate, crisps and desserts until I put it down in black and white.

Lastly I notice that you are buying all your toiletries and cleaning products from the supermarket - do you have a pound shop, Home Bargains or Bodycare? I didn't realise quite how cheap they were until I went into Boots the other day to spend a voucher and came away shocked at the prices and empty handed! :rotfl: