Just want to be debt free

kadiya

Afternoon
Just a quick catch up, because I'm not feeling very well
Everything is ok here (other than me), finally got Gas and Electric yesterday (yay) and today would have been a no spend day if MOTH hadn't needed to go to the doctors and chemist.
Total Spend for today has been £7.28, which is really good considering how much would have normally been spent by one of us having to go out (it all amounts to taxi's too :S)
Confession though, we ended up with a takeout last night. I was so poorly, and MOTH had a panick attack about having to cook on his own. Paid for by cheque because we knew it would clear by Monday, which is when we have some money int he bank...
On the plus side though, we would normally spend £25+ on the 5 of us, but instead we or`dered what we knew we would eat without leaving a lot of waste, which brought the cost down to £17.
I am pleased by that, but was bitterly dissappointed at having had to order out at all, and to be honest, the food really didn't taste that great and left me feeling thirsty for the rest of the night.
Luckily MOTH has agreed it was rubbish food compared to what we can eat at home, and will be cooking tonight to make up for it

kissjenn

One way to look at it is the disappointing takeaway may actually be a huge cost saver if MOTH is now craving home cooked food and wants to make it. What a result for £17!

kadiya

LOL
What a really good point Jen!Could have cost a heck of a lot more to learn that lesson too

[STRIKE]1)Bacon, eggs, hash browns, beans and sausage, fruit smoothie
[/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]2)Hot dogs, chips, spaghetti, fruit salad[/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]3)chicken Chow mein, fruit crumble[/STRIKE]
4)Pasta bake (cheese and bacon),salad
5)fish fingers, chips, sweetcorn/carrots, fruit smoothie
6)beans on toast, fruit pie
7)Tacos w/ onion rings, "trifle"

In the end I had to cook the main meal (chicken chow mein)last night but between MOTH and Oldest, they managed to throw together a fairly decent crumble.
It was all very yummy!
NSD today, which is quite good going for us
Managed to get MOTH to put up another curtain rail today so that the children can have the set of new curtains put up in their room.
Sometimes it feels a little bit like an exercise in futility because we want to move, but until we have the money/somewhere to live, we may aswell make where we are nice and comfortable.
Think it doesn't help that I wanted everything perfect for when the boy is born.I know that isn't really going to happen, but if I can just get the family motivated enough to get most of the basic painting or DIY done, then I will be satisfied with that
On the downside, the little ones have driven me up the wall today. One has managed to pull down a shelf (although I didn't get mad, cause the walls in this house are pretty bad), another destroyed the porcelain feet from off of a doll, so thats had to be binned.:mad:
Then there is all the rest of the stuff.
I think they aren't coping with the heat, just like I'm not, so it's no wonder really :rolleyes:
Well, time to get on, got a list i want completing before the end of the day:D

kissjenn

Pasta bake is yummy and hopefully nice and easy for you, so feet up time. MOTH can't burn the salad!!

kadiya

The pasta bake last night WAs yummy, and doubly so because...
I DIDN'T MAKE IT!!!!
One small step for Kadiya, one GIANT leap for MOTH

kadiya

bit of a rubbish day today
went to get the girls some summer clothes this afternoon only to find out we hadnt been paid and are seriously overdrawn
~sigh~
Put MOTH in a foul mood for the rest of the day that he has only just snapped out of.
The two youngest got hold of some bottom cream and spread it everywhere...over themselves, in their hair, over my bed, up my walls...
I sometimes wonder what the point is...?
Middle child never goes to sleep when it is bed time, no matter how much we do in the day, messes about or stands on the window pane to mess in the window instead.
We've tried everything and it doesn't work.
I'm told it is the terrible two's, but this has been going on since the child was very young, and I just keep being told to provide a stricter routine/more discipline/ to let them get on with it/ kids will be kids.
Makes me feel so sad as the child always seems to be getting into trouble, and I'm quite ashamed to say that sometimes, they provoke very strong negative emotions in me.
I know I'm rambling, but there is no help, no back up, no break.
I'm tired and upset. I'm sure thats all it is.
Perhaps tomorrow will be better.

kissjenn

You are having a rotten time.

How are you felling today?

kadiya

Hey Jen x
it hasn't been a great day to be honest, alls MOTH and I have managed to do is argue about EVERYTHING and the fact that he is given a lot of leeway because of his 'conditions' but I can't even get the most basic of respect sometimes...
A lot of people look at us as a family and it always comes out that people find me scary, because I can give an opinion, and that I must wear the trousers in my relationship. Truth is, I've been carrying this family for nearly four years, with no back up, no family to help, no friends to call on.
So when he wants something, which usually involves money, I say yes, because I want him and the kids to be happy...but ultimately I've managed to make a rod for my own back, because now we are in debt and it doesn't keep anybody happy for long.
The person who always goes without is me, and the few precious things I've had have all been trashed by either him or the children, until I've been left with nothing.
I know this is just pathetic, and I'm moaning and whinging about things that could be changed, but I have tried soooo hard to change things for my family...introducing routines, making meal plans, creating budgets, all of which MOTH is involved in...but after a few days noone is bothered anymore and I feel degraded and useless and worthless.
I'm tired of feeling this way.

On a positive note...the little ones have been better behaved than yesterday...
Small steps eh?

loupee

Hi,
Just wanted to say I've just read your whole diary and really admire what you are doing, it cant be easy!
I only have my boyfriend to worry about. He took my last 3 pounds off me to have a Starbucks before work, he really isn't getting the grasp of 'spending less money' and he's a chef so he lives it up on steaks and such like at work, it'll be a shock to the system when he's in the army. I take a packed lunch with, had to have a cereal bar instead of a sandwich today cos the bread had gone mouldy :mad: but a client brought us in samosas which cheered me up no end.
Anyway, just a completely random story for you there!
But thats me :rotfl:
Anyway I'm looking forward to seeing how you get on. You can do it, and you know it! Just stick by what you are already doing, you know the long-term benefits, even if the rest of the family haven't caught up yet!

Lou x

kissjenn

kadiya wrote: »

Hey Jen x
it hasn't been a great day to be honest, alls MOTH and I have managed to do is argue about EVERYTHING and the fact that he is given a lot of leeway because of his 'conditions' but I can't even get the most basic of respect sometimes...
A lot of people look at us as a family and it always comes out that people find me scary, because I can give an opinion, and that I must wear the trousers in my relationship. Truth is, I've been carrying this family for nearly four years, with no back up, no family to help, no friends to call on.
So when he wants something, which usually involves money, I say yes, because I want him and the kids to be happy...but ultimately I've managed to make a rod for my own back, because now we are in debt and it doesn't keep anybody happy for long.
The person who always goes without is me, and the few precious things I've had have all been trashed by either him or the children, until I've been left with nothing.
I know this is just pathetic, and I'm moaning and whinging about things that could be changed, but I have tried soooo hard to change things for my family...introducing routines, making meal plans, creating budgets, all of which MOTH is involved in...but after a few days noone is bothered anymore and I feel degraded and useless and worthless.
I'm tired of feeling this way.

On a positive note...the little ones have been better behaved than yesterday...
Small steps eh?

Small steps my friend and remember you're doubley tired at the moment and that would drag anyone down. MOTH needs to be adult number 2 (you're obviously NUMBER 1 ) and not child number 5. It's very hard and we're all inclined to chivvy them up because it's easier than trying to get them to accept that actually they're an adult who needs to so suck it up and get on with it.

Depression is as difficult for the partner as the person with depression imho. You want to grab them by the scruff of the neck and scream "You think I'm enjoying myself stop whining all day" but we're meant to be more loving and sympathetic. I get to the "Ok you have depression but you can do things to help mitigate your symptoms and follow medical advice. You don't get help then I'm not prepared to live like this so choose." But you are probably far nicer than me :o:o

Can your health visitor find any help for you so you have a bit of a break?