When to start dating again?

Threebabes

Taye wrote: »

Ok im home and running around the house like a maniac did i forget to mention i invited him over for some supper/late tea once the boys went to bed.. eek!!! everything is a mess and i have NO CLUE what to cook.

I figured since we where going to give this thing a go then i might as well give him a baptism of fire. Seriously if the state of my house scare's him off nothing will...

not quite sure what the hell he'll make of my sharing a bedroom with the boys, my stockpile or the general state of my house eeek... i have a massive hole in the celing of my living room where the boiler burst last winter and holes in all the doors loving reminders of my Ex.. joy of joy's!:o

im not sure this is such a good plan after all. But as someone said i guess he really needs to know exactly what he's letting himself in for and at least when he see's the state of my house he'll know that my explaination of my finances are not exagerated and it's not that i secretly live in a palace and can afford childcare when ever the mood takes me.

Phew ... ok please tell me this wasn't a totally awful plan?!

No its not an awful plan. He has to accept you for the way you are, holes in ceiling incl.

Enjoy your evening.

Heath84

Relax I think it will make him realise everything you have said is true about finances etc and the reasons why you live for your kids!
Have fun
xx

Quackers

Its not an awful plan.

If he is right for you then he will accept you for who you are

Just try and relax and enjoy the evening.

Dont stress about stuff - easier said than done. But do try and relax and enjoy the evening.

I am glad things are back on track Taye.

Really pleased for you.

But I worry that you are now going to pin all your hopes on Dave. I agree with others - it would be a good idea to try and get involved in some other social groups too?

I really hope tonight goes well and you both have a good evening

kate1976

Oooh I am so excited and happy that you invited him over, I really hope it all goes well tonight!

Don't worry about the state of your house, you should see mine!! :eek: I don't think Dave will care one bit about it, he's probably just pleased you've invited him over!

Now relax and have a fantabulous evening and thank you for making me smile!

gwen80

Hi

I've been following this thread for a few days now and it's had me totally hooked!

I think Dave sounds like a lovely fella. Take your time, get to know each other, 'date' and try and have fun.

While I haven't suffered the abuse you did at the hands of your ex, I'm far from loaded and my house needs loads of work doing to it. My life isn't 'perfect'. However, I started dating someone a few weeks ago. Panic stations set in - what about when he comes round to my house, what will he think, he'll run a mile, why would he want to be with me?????

I've also been single for a while and the thought of jumping straight in is very, very scary. While I'm not really scared of being close physically, I definitely am scared of letting my guard down and letting somebody get close to me emotionally. I've been trying to tell myself to just take it one date at a time - which sometimes works!

Reading this thread has been so useful though. To know, I'm not the only one out there who wants to be in a relationship, but perhaps has to work up to it and take things slowly. To know, that its not strange to worry about being accepted as you are and that if he's a good guy and it's meant to be, he will.

All the best with Dave and please keep this thread up to date as I'm enthralled!

Gwenx

jinky67

Taye wrote: »

Ok im home and running around the house like a maniac did i forget to mention i invited him over for some supper/late tea once the boys went to bed.. eek!!! everything is a mess and i have NO CLUE what to cook.

I figured since we where going to give this thing a go then i might as well give him a baptism of fire. Seriously if the state of my house scare's him off nothing will...

not quite sure what the hell he'll make of my sharing a bedroom with the boys, my stockpile or the general state of my house eeek... i have a massive hole in the celing of my living room where the boiler burst last winter and holes in all the doors loving reminders of my Ex.. joy of joy's!:o

im not sure this is such a good plan after all. But as someone said i guess he really needs to know exactly what he's letting himself in for and at least when he see's the state of my house he'll know that my explaination of my finances are not exagerated and it's not that i secretly live in a palace and can afford childcare when ever the mood takes me.

Phew ... ok please tell me this wasn't a totally awful plan?!

No it wasnt

i was wary of inviting my fella to my house......its a state as well:o

But he didnt care, I didnt care, he was there for me and not the house.
In fact we ended up laughing about it:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Errata

Good friends don't notice and certainly don't judge. It's good if people in a relationship can be good friends as well as 'romantic' partners in crime.

What business is it of his where you sleep? Don't tell, don't show. I sleep with the dog sometimes, but I woudn't be sharing that information with somone at the first opportunity ! If at all.

BrokeBrunette

Taye, I'm really pleased that things are going ok for you. Don't panic about the state of your house. If Dave is going to be put off by your circumstances then he isn't the man for you. I've got faith in him though.

He sounds like a total star to me. Just go with the flow, give him a nice cuddle later and I think he'll just be happy to know you like him.

Everyone likes affection and he's no different.

Have a lovely evening, keep calm and don't forget to update us at the earliest opportunity, because we'll all be waiting :D:D:D

Taye

I just wanted to say thankyou to everyone your input has really ment the world to me, i know things might not work out with dave but i would never have gotten this far without all your fingers in my back pushing me along.

Also i just wanted to let you know im not ignoring advice about "get out there and socialising" it's something i'll look into, i guess i've known for a long time that spending my evenings cooped up in my house isn't healthy for me of my boys i guess sometimes though you need to hear it from someone else so i will make an effort to find some sort of social event that are dumb enough to let me tag along.

thanks everyone * group hug *

Right back to panicing!!!!!!

Sausage and Bean Chilli pasta bake sound ok for tea?? i know he likes mexican and although not really mexican (more made up by me haha) but it's quick and easy dump in the oven and forget sort of meal??!

Quackers

Taye wrote: »

I just wanted to say thankyou to everyone your input has really ment the world to me, i know things might not work out with dave but i would never have gotten this far without all your fingers in my back pushing me along.

Also i just wanted to let you know im not ignoring advice about "get out there and socialising" it's something i'll look into, i guess i've known for a long time that spending my evenings cooped up in my house isn't healthy for me of my boys i guess sometimes though you need to hear it from someone else so i will make an effort to find some sort of social event that are dumb enough to let me tag along.

thanks everyone * group hug *

Right back to panicing!!!!!!

Sausage and Bean Chilli pasta bake sound ok for tea?? i know he likes mexican and although not really mexican (more made up by me haha) but it's quick and easy dump in the oven and forget sort of meal??!

*wipes eyes* :o

I'm sooooo happy for you Taye.

And glad that you are taking the snippets of advice that you want to on board.

I think you are cooking the perfect meal - something you can bung in the oven & spend time together is ideal

Have fun :j:j:j

And try and have a big cuddle on the sofa - aaahhhhh, nothing like a nice snuggle together