Thinking of serperating frm my husband

Oldernotwiser

Given the figures on your initial post, who are you assuming will be paying the mortgage?

athensgeorgia

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Given the figures on your initial post, who are you assuming will be paying the mortgage?

Me, i was thinking of extending my mortgage and fixing it again so i'd know where i was up to iyswim. But just checked with my mortgage provider and its a NO.

bestpud

Ok, I don't know about the mortgage payments but I do know you will receive LHA if you receive income support. How much depends on what size house you rent and the age and sex of your children, but you will get the maximum available for a family of your size.

The CB, IS, and CTC amounts are all correct as far as I am aware, and going on my experience.

As for the effect on your children, I can only give you my experience, but here goes:

Mine were devastated at the start (we separated in February) and I have to admit I wondered if I'd done the right thing. But three months down the line and I know I did the right thing, for them and for me.

Our youngest especially is thriving at home and her school teacher also said she is doing better since the split.

So it is not all negative, but the initial split is awful so please remember to take care of you as well as your children.

BTW, I was worried how my ex would cope as well, financially and emotionally, but if things are that bad, then you have to consider the effect of staying together as well. I still felt terribly guilty though, and still do sometimes so be prepared for that.

Hopefully you will both be able to keep things amicable and do what is right for the children and not yourselves, as I am sure that has helped my two settle down easier.

NASA_2

athensgeorgia wrote: »

Me, i was thinking of extending my mortgage and fixing it again so i'd know where i was up to iyswim. But just checked with my mortgage provider and its a NO.

Is your OH in a position to buy your part of the house?

Oldernotwiser

athensgeorgia wrote: »

Me, i was thinking of extending my mortgage and fixing it again so i'd know where i was up to iyswim. But just checked with my mortgage provider and its a NO.

Unfortunately you'll need a good income to not only take over the whole mortgage but to buy your husband out. If he could buy you out, you'd be able to rent and claim LHA.

athensgeorgia

Bestpud your post helped me the most

sunnyone

Its very sad when any relationship breaks down, no one gets married thinking it will only for a few years, do they? When I got married I believed it was for life.

If you have decided to split then the best thing to do is try and keep it amicable, hes always going to be part of your life because you have children together,your relationship can change to just friendship, my ex husband is now a good friend.

Some children take the news better than others, you can help your children by always telling them the truth and make sure there school understands that your family is having a tough time so they can look out for any signs that your children need extra support. Counciling is available for children who take a family break up hard.

sunnyone

mumofjusttwo

bestpud wrote: »

Ok, I don't know about the mortgage payments but I do know you will receive LHA if you receive income support. How much depends on what size house you rent and the age and sex of your children, but you will get the maximum available for a family of your size.

The CB, IS, and CTC amounts are all correct as far as I am aware, and going on my experience.

As for the effect on your children, I can only give you my experience, but here goes:

Mine were devastated at the start (we separated in February) and I have to admit I wondered if I'd done the right thing. But three months down the line and I know I did the right thing, for them and for me.

Our youngest especially is thriving at home and her school teacher also said she is doing better since the split.

So it is not all negative, but the initial split is awful so please remember to take care of you as well as your children.

BTW, I was worried how my ex would cope as well, financially and emotionally, but if things are that bad, then you have to consider the effect of staying together as well. I still felt terribly guilty though, and still do sometimes so be prepared for that.

Hopefully you will both be able to keep things amicable and do what is right for the children and not yourselves, as I am sure that has helped my two settle down easier.

Hi Bestpud. I remember that you and I both split from our partners at the same time and I do agree with you. My children, 3 and 5, I feel are better as there is no longer the arguing etc and when they see their father he is much more relaxed.

I certainly helps if you can remain amicable with your DH.


With regards to the mortgage interest payments I have had people mention that if you were to stay in your house you would be entitled to all the interest paid and not just 50%. I am unsure as to which is correct and I won't find out for a few more weeks.

bestpud

mumofjusttwo wrote: »

Hi Bestpud. I remember that you and I both split from our partners at the same time and I do agree with you. My children, 3 and 5, I feel are better as there is no longer the arguing etc and when they see their father he is much more relaxed.

I certainly helps if you can remain amicable with your DH.

Yes, I think we can sometimes underestimate the impact a negative atmosphere can have on children.

Good to hear you are getting along ok too.

mumofjusttwo

You too. I know it is hard when they want there Daddy though.