Thinking of serperating frm my husband

LittleMissAspie

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

why don't you try working on your marriage?

athensgeorgia wrote: »

And it is only the kids that have made me try as much as i have.

Why don't you try reading posts properly?

athensgeorgia

Its ok i understand what people are trying to say but unless your in our household and experiencing what we're experiencing then no-one could possibly understand. Shoud i try and persevere with my unhappy life just to make my marriage work? As i said before my husband is a fantastic father and the reason i've not taken the plunge to leave before is because of the heartache it would cause my husband being seperated from his children. Tbh we've tried to make it work for a few years but i honestly feel like i'm at breaking point.

Just to add i'm not planning on 'fleecing the state' as i have already mentioned i do work but hours that fit in with our children until my daughter starts nursery in September when i shall be going back to 30 hours a week.

Ivrytwr3

How do you know she hasnt already tried to make the marriage work, its really not helpful when the OP really needs financial advice.

I don't know, but then again neither do you. I can't even imagine what is going on through her head at the minute and perhaps it may just need someone not emotionally involved to look at the whole picture.

Also, how come you have set yourself up as the OP's spokesperson? If the OP comes back and say's there is no other way but too leave then i will leave it, but give our thoughts some consideration!!

Ivrytwr3

and now we do! looool!!

epsilondraconis

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

and now we do! looool!!

Seriously what is that suppose to mean? If I was in the OPs shoes now I'd be very annoyed about that.

OP, one last question, have you discussed this with your husband to see how he would react?

Clearly none of us know the whole situation and from what you've described it doesn't sound a happy household at all. However, I'm just wondering if you sat down with your husband and told him that you can't carry on like this anymore, do you think that would be enough to bring about some sort of change.

If you both feel as though you've gone through all of the options, then I agree that the separation is probably best.

athensgeorgia

Well i've reentered my details as a mortgage and i wouldn't be able to manage. I seriously doubt DH would sign his half of the house over to me anyway. Does anyone have any other ideas?

And me trust i will be back i'm totally addicted to this board.

Oldernotwiser

Just because you assume that your husband will have the children at weekends is no reason that he shouldn't pay maintenance. If he's that good a father I'm sure he'll insist on it anyway.

By the way, if getting a deposit for a flat would be a problem for you, how will he be able to manage it?

athensgeorgia

epsilondraconis wrote: »

Seriously what is that suppose to mean? If I was in the OPs shoes now I'd be very annoyed about that.

OP, one last question, have you discussed this with your husband to see how he would react?

Clearly none of us know the whole situation and from what you've described it doesn't sound a happy household at all. However, I'm just wondering if you sat down with your husband and told him that you can't carry on like this anymore, do you think that would be enough to bring about some sort of change.

If you both feel as though you've gone through all of the options, then I agree that the separation is probably best.

We get to point when i can't take it anymore so i tell him how unhappy i am get the sob story of how we'll make an effort and sort the problem out and 2 weeks later we're back to where we were and i'm grinning and bearing it. Dh is very bullyish, i feel like my whole personality is altered just to make our life easier.

I might disappear for a couple of hours because i'm work atm and its making me cry talking about it so not good with an office full of people, but i'll still be lurking.

athensgeorgia

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

By the way, if getting a deposit for a flat would be a problem for you, how will he be able to manage it?

Thats another one of the reasons i feel guilty because i know he'd struggle, but i'm sure his parents would maybe help him out.

epsilondraconis

athensgeorgia wrote: »

We get to point when i can't take it anymore so i tell him how unhappy i am get the sob story of how we'll make an effort and sort the problem out and 2 weeks later we're back to where we were and i'm grinning and bearing it. Dh is very bullyish, i feel like my whole personality is altered just to make our life easier.

I might disappear for a couple of hours because i'm work atm and its making me cry talking about it so not good with an office full of people, but i'll still be lurking.

Sorry - no one wants to make you feel upset - especially me.

I'll quit asking the 'can you save the marriage questions' - I understand what you are saying. I was pursuing it for the kids' sake more than anything in the hope that things could work out.

I'll put my thinking cap on regarding the financial questions you posed.

Take care...