Thinking of serperating frm my husband

athensgeorgia

I'm really not happy at the moment and am thinking of seperating from my husband. I'm really worried how i'll manage on my own especially with 3 children. When i put our details in entitledto i'm convinced its saying we'd get too much money. Last year i earnt 4433.73 so i put that in, I have 3 children and i work 10 hours a week i earn £65 a week. It says i'd get £139 Ctc, £19 IS, £65 Wages, and £46 CB. Surely that can't be right that seems like alot of money.

Also i did put in that i was living in privately rented but i don't think i'd be able to get a deposit together so i'm hoping my huband will go quietly and leave me in our house but we still have a mortage does this affect benefit in anyway becase if the above figures are right i think i'd just about manage at a v. strict push iyswim.

Any help greatly received.

SuziQ

How old are your children?
I find entitled to confusing and certainly when I split with my husband last year,the amount it told me I would recieve was way above the reality. You are working however so that makes a difference. With certain benefits you may get help with the interest part of your mortgage after 13 weeks although only your half if the mortgage is in joint names. Do the figures again with you being in your own property as you need to know what it states for your current circumsatances-you will get very different amounts depending on whether you are renting or motgaged.

I realise you only want benefit advice-and there are much better qualified people on here to give you that,but please think carefully as to whether there is any chance of rescuing your marriage. I know from personal experience (twice!) how devastating it is for the children;although of course it is miserable for kids to live in a home where there are constant rows or the adults are just not getting on.

Hope you can sort things out but if not the money side will be tight.Is he likely to be fair regarding maintenance?

tigtag02

Why dont you ring TC's and JCP and ask then for the figures. This is what I did first

athensgeorgia

Tbh es not on the best of wages and i really don't think maintence would be the best thing as hes really a fantastic dad and would most likely want to have the kids for a full weekend if not more. The kids are 9, 8 next week and 2. I'm just so depressed and i'm sick of the constant arguing that i think it couldn't be worse for the kids. And it is only the kids that have made me try as much as i have. I'm really so lost.

Just to add aswell i really don't want it to be about the money and i don't want my kids to suffer. I feel terrible asking about help we'd get.

Ivrytwr3

why don't you try working on your marriage?

tigtag02

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

why don't you try working on your marriage?

How very rude and judemental ~ did you read the OP properly and see what the poster was actually asking

Ivrytwr3

tigtag02 wrote: »

How very rude and judemental ~ did you read the OP properly and see what the poster was actually asking

yep, she's thinking of leaving her husband. Her children will suffer (no child enjoys their parents splitting up) and she's asking what benefits she would be entitled too; another drain on the state.

My question was a valid one, unless there are no reasons to stay ie dometic abuse, cheating partner etc, could the husband and wife not work on their marriage?

epsilondraconis

It may be worth giving marriage councelling a go. You mention a lot of arguing - perhaps the underlying reason for the arguments could be addressed.

I imagine tigtag02 will jump on this post also because I'm not answering the OPs question directly. I guess I'm wondering if anything could be done to help the situation so it doesn't end up with the parents going their separate ways and thus impacting on the kids. (I take on board fully that the current situation isn't ideal because of the arguments etc).

Would it be possible for a family member or friend look after your kids for a few days whilst you both have a short break somewhere and give yourselves time to discuss things in more detail.

Anyway sorry OP, I hope you don't think I'm giving advice that is not requested - I guess I just think it would be great if things could work out whilst remaining as a family unit.

Good luck...

tigtag02

Why cant the OP just be advised rather than preeched to?

Ivrytwr3

jeez, no-one is preaching, all we are offering are opinions and other possible routes as oppose to them throwing in the towel on their marriage when there MAY be a chance to save it. Surely that is a good thing?

I like Epsils advice of a someone looking after the children while the adults get a some quality time together.

tiff

How do you know she hasnt already tried to make the marriage work, its really not helpful when the OP really needs financial advice.