Diary of how I went from ican to iquit (abridged version!!)

iquit

Well this is my diary to tell my story and hopefully help or inspire others in the same way that I've been helped and inspired by posters on this forum.

A brief background - my former longterm relationship broke down. I tried to stay grown up in the matter but finally had to succumb to the overwhelming financial and personal strain. I first looked into bankruptcy in 2007, but for a variety of reasons I decided against it. I blame shame, guilt, denial, refusal to accept failure, pride etc etc, the list goes on. Voluntarily forfeited the jointly mortgaged home (ex's whereabouts unknown, not contributing or communicating and hadn't done for over a year whilst I struggled alone with the mounting debt). I continued to make payments towards my personal debt but none towards the joint debts we had accumulated (mortgage & loan). Moved back into my former solely owned home and low and behold the b***ers found me. Then started the threatening letters and demands for payment - all in my sole name. Following previous serious health problems due to the financial and personal strain I could see exactly where this was headed, I'd get sick again and this time maybe even end up hospitalised. So for the second time I considered and decided on bankruptcy - 2 years later!! Oh to have hindsight as forsight would have been bliss and I'd be 1 year from the end of my IPA and 3 years nearer BR falling away from my credit file. Hey ho we live and we learn. I decided to go BR in March '09 and found this forum, that's when my worries began to ebb away as I found I wasn't alone and there were people out there who were committed to helping others through this difficult process. Thank you seems so insufficient a phrase but I am ever thankful, ever grateful and oh so humbled by the genuine care and support I've received - direct and indirect. So April 19 flowed into the big day April 20 2009 without any fanfare or fireworks, but there I lay awake wide awake until after 3am. Woke up at 0730 having had a nightmare about missing my appointment and being told I would have to wait a month before another slot became available - scarey. Was too nervous to eat. Went to the cash point and withdrew my last £180, left a very generous £4.00 for the OR. Off I headed to my local county court and was there by 0845, appointment not until 1000 so sat in the car until 0915 when my fidgeting began to drive me nuts so off I went to the court. Clerk didn't start until bang on 1000, but I was ready and first in line. The lovely lady went through the paperwork with me, watched me sign, took my oath on a bible and accepted my £510. I was asked to take a seat in the waiting area and when the judge had a slot between cases my petition would be dealt with. There were 6 BR people in total, I was the only one who was sullen, eveyone else was laughing and joking. Obviously I forgot to take my happy pills when I left home in haste - miserable woman that I am. Finally at 1255 the clerk came into waiting room and informed us that our BR petitions had been authorised. She needed to type them out and get the OR on the phone so would be back in 20 minutes. Nearly an hour later she returned and called us seperately into her office. Here I was given my bankruptcy order and put on the phone to OR for a less than 5 minute chat, another lovely lady who asked if any of my property was under threat of seizure (me - uuhh no), did I have a basic account to use (me - yes with abbey), what is the balance (me - £4), they would contact them to advise they have no interest in the account but said it's up to the bank whether or not they keep it open told her I'd be approaching the co-op which she said was a good idea, confirmed my contact details - address and phone numbers. Told me questionnaire would be in the post to me in 5 to 10 days, I must complete and return ASAP and OR interview will then be set up. She thanked me I thanked her then I thanked the clerk and was back in my car at 1350, arrived at home at 1430 - near faint with hunger. Feel numb to be honest but very happy that it's done. Rang the Co-op to open the widely touted cashminder account, friendly man asked me why I wanted this account told him coz I've become bankrupt and heard this account was best and most accepting - oh yes it is he said, where did you hear about us he asked - me from NDL, CAB, MSE website (plug plug) and the OR. Took my details and said application would have to be run by their legal department, if successful then welcome pack with account details will be in post within 2 days, cashpoint card to follow soon after. Gave me number to call on Friday if no joy. Have done a few other practical things today which I just couldn't muster the energy for before, so not a complete anti-climax. Now my work as a true debt free wannabe (gonnabe) begins.

Holes_in_my_pocket

Thanks for sharimng your day with us .. Hope you have a great debt free life which i am looking forward too as well

dreamcatcher73

Thanks for sharing and good luck for the future

jellygirl_2

Well done for getting through the day (sounds like on your own too, like me). Its a weird day from start to finish I know. I felt numb too, brickin it one minute, relieved the next. There may be a time lapse between your br and your OR interview, but please dont be worrying about it - I couldnt remember much of what I had spent money on credit cards for, but did admit to taking br fees off a card, which the OR didnt blink at. It was a tad gruelling but ok in the end for me, hope it all goes well for you. Its a big step, realising and owning up to your debt and then taking action to put your life right. Well done and all the best for your future :):)

dalip

For some reason i had you down as a bloke iquit:rotfl:. Found your story interesting so thanks for telling us. It helps lots of others on here to hear of others backgrounds and run up to bc. Keep positive. The relief will come after the interview;)trust me.Dx

iquit

Thank you all for the support. Yes Jellygirl I am alone through this - but not lonely, I'm blessed with family and friends who have been very supportive through out. I worry about future relationships though, having been alone for over 2 years I think I'm hiding from possible pain and heartbreak (any psychologists out there??). I'm not too woried about the OR interview (yet!). Initial contact was very civil and reassuring so think it'll be ok.

iquit

dalip wrote: »

For some reason i had you down as a bloke iquit:rotfl:. Found your story interesting so thanks for telling us. It helps lots of others on here to hear of others backgrounds and run up to bc. Keep positive. The relief will come after the interview;)trust me.Dx

Yes Dalip, it's my hard exterior - it hides a soft vulnerable center;);)

dreamcatcher73

dalip wrote: »

For some reason i had you down as a bloke iquit:rotfl:. Found your story interesting so thanks for telling us. It helps lots of others on here to hear of others backgrounds and run up to bc. Keep positive. The relief will come after the interview;)trust me.Dx

Me too Dalip, the bloke thing :rotfl: sorry Iquit!

There's a few of us going it alone on these boards, so you are in very good company

iquit

dreamcatcher73 wrote: »

Me too Dalip, the bloke thing :rotfl: sorry Iquit!

There's a few of us going it alone on these boards, so you are in very good company

:eek::eek:I'm goingto try and not get a complex now:o:o

dreamcatcher73

iquit wrote: »

:eek::eek:I'm goingto try and not get a complex now:o:o

Sorry! Don't worry you are not the only one that I have made a gender mistake with. :rotfl::rotfl:

Just the first one I have admitted to!:D

Lightattheend

Firstly congratulations Iquit.

Your story raised a couple of questions for me regarding the OR contact, is the initial contact always at the court or might it be later in the same day once you have left? Wondered which phone number to put for contact purposes. Also with regards to the telephone or f2f interview, is there some flexability with the date/time to allow for getting time of work etc? Thanks (and sorry to hijack thread!)