Taking my finger off the self-destruct button

Wordsmith

Thank you for welcoming me back. Since my last post …



Pluses

• Got a free packet of out-of-date Jammy Dodgers. Unplus: ate them in one sitting.
• Got a free ice-cream because it had been speared by the pointy end of another.
• Have sent out a big bill for work done, but unplus: the much smaller bill I sent to the same company on 8 February won’t be paid until next week, so I will probably have to wait nearly two months for payment for the invoice I sent yesterday.
• Did a karma top-up by putting together a race night programme and printing it for the local school. Big unplus: took me the equivalent of a day’s work and had to pay for the toner to print it. Got to get a free advert in it, but I did the same last year and got no work from it. Last year (but not this, uncharitable cow that I am) I gave a spot prize of a 50 euro voucher for my services – which was never used!

Unplus

• Went to fetch favoured friend from airport that we now have to use. viamichelin said it would take me 1 hour 45 minutes to get there, but it took over 2 and a half! And as it is too far to get anyone to give me a lift, I will also have to pay for parking. And there’s no bookshop at the airport!
• Having driven for 5 hours to pick up favoured friend, got to his vehicle and found I had picked up the wrong bunch of keys, with no car key! So had to drive a further round trip of 25 miles to get it.
• Can’t get over to see my dad until the end of April – but I have booked the flight, and am very much looking forward to it.
• Car has started making a funny noise – I think it is a wheel bearing.
• Had to take a few hours off work to go to the rubbish tip – a 25-mile round trip and it cost me €20 at the tip. The charging for dumping is a very hit and miss affair. You go to a little window, say how many bags of rubbish you have, and they charge you €5 per bag. There is no check that you actually have only this number of bin bags, either at the pay point or when you are throwing them into the skip. I know of a number of people who say they have one bag but throw out 5 or 6. Being of an honest persuasion, I always say the right number and feel really cross about spending the money. This time I was half-way honest – I bought some wheelie bin liners that I could fit several normal bin bags into, and ’fessed up to the number of wheelie bin bags. I haven’t taken the recycling yet, which will cost a further €4.
• I cut my fringe. Big sigh. I don’t go to hairdressers in order to save money (except for my mum’s funeral, when I hummed and hawed, and then decided that it looked OK as it was, and big sis stepped in and pulled rank and made me go, but – bless her – she paid), and generally that’s OK, except for my fringe. I hate my fringe. I put off and put off cutting it until the second it grows that fraction too much and I can’t stand it any longer and I go grrrrrrr and reach for the scissors and grrrr snip grrrrr snip grrrrr snip later am faced in the mirror with an extremely uneven fringe, which I then have to keep brushing back in a fun and funky way that just makes me look more ridiculous.

Can’t decide whether this is a plus or an unplus. The local post office is closing and the shop has managed to acquire the agency in its place (so we can sell stamps and give out the pensions). There is an absolute pittance paid by the post office for this service and it doesn’t pay financially, but it had to be done. Lovely boss man, not unnaturally, doesn’t want to pay out extra for wages to run this service (the commission would not cover the wage cost) so the deal we have decided on is that I move some of my hours from another day to the pensions days (when I become a pensions mistress - that's pensions, not pensioner's) and do the remainder of the hours in lieu of rent for a room for my office, equating to €63 a week. The rent I am paying for an office at the moment is €100 a week plus electricity and rates. But the current place is two rooms and I can use one to store things that I can’t store at the caravan. The room at the shop, although “cheaper” is smaller than the one I have at the moment and not only can I not fit all my office stuff in (I have several computers that I use for teaching), but I have no extra storage. So now I don’t know what to do. It’s cheaper, but less useful to me. Also, the days I now have to work will give me less flexibility – I will be working at the shop Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, with Monday at the restaurant and most of Wednesday for my other regular client – so I have just all day Tuesday and Thursday and Friday evenings to do things such as proofreading and teaching – so not much time to spend in an office anyway. This is far from ideal, but I think that for the time being I am going to have to go with it. There will also be some initial outlay as I have to get broadband to the shop – which will have to be wireless as there’s no landline broadband available in the village yet. And I don’t know what to do with the office cats. Worst of all, there will be ready access to the chocolate counter. This is bad. Very, very bad.

As for my plans in my last post – I haven’t quite got to them yet.

Now my head is mush so I am going to take the hound for a run on the beach. (Only one of us will be doing the running.)

Wordsmith

Seaxwyn wrote: »

Why not actually move back to England and be near your dad?

I have thought long and hard about this, but it has taken me so long to make a new start here that the thought of starting again (again) back in England doesn't seem possible. I would have to come back, find somewhere to live where I can keep the animals and find a job that pays enough to pay the bills and my debts. I don't think it would be possible. I can't sell my place here, so I would probably have to move back here at an unknown future date and start again again again. There's always the option of selling the house in England, but although this would pay off the debts, it wouldn't leave me with anything and I would still have to find somewhere to live and a job to pay the bills ...

Seaxwyn

Hello Wordsmith. Fair enough on the moving decision. I don't think the deal with the shop sounds like a plus. If it makes your time less flexible, this could cause problems with other jobs, couldn't it? It seems like a deal to benefit the shopkeeper rather than you. Can you make sure it is only for a limited time and that there is some other benefit to you as well?

elantan

glad to see you back ... have missed you

poorbutrich

Wordsmith wrote: »

Thank you for welcoming me back. Since my last post …


Went to fetch favoured friend from airport that we now have to use. viamichelin said it would take me 1 hour 45 minutes to get there, but it took over 2 and a half! And as it is too far to get anyone to give me a lift, I will also have to pay for parking. And there’s no bookshop at the airport!

• Having driven for 5 hours to pick up favoured friend, got to his vehicle and found I had picked up the wrong bunch of keys, with no car key! So had to drive a further round trip of 25 miles to get it.
• )

Oh no! It sounds like your pluses have outweighed the unpluses though on balance! Always great to hear your updates, and they're so beautifully written that I am stunned no one took you up on the offer of the 50 Euro worth of writing service!

Wordsmith

I’ve lapsed with my diary again – terribly. Not on purpose, but because I have been working such long hours. Any time I think about visiting the site I have to resist because I know I would spend hours reading other people’s diaries. So I am well out of touch with what everyone else is doing, but I do hope you are all OK.
I haven’t, however, lapsed with trying to reduce my debt. I have made disappointing progress, bearing in mind how hard I am working, but I have made progress and at least am more relaxed about it now, not becoming a quivering wreck every time the phone rings and managing to keep on top of the regular payments.
A summary of the last few months:


Pluses

• I have kept up the regular payments on friend’s loan and am now almost half way to repaying it.
• I very nearly have a small credit card loan paid off.
• I have just one more instalment (in three months’ time) on a business loan.
• I have moved out of my office into an office at the shop. There are some disadvantages to this, but on the whole it is working out much better than I had feared.
• I’ve had lots of work. Often too much so I’ve not had a day off (except for visits to the UK to see my dad) all year except for one day last April. I’m not complaining – it would be far more of a worry if I didn’t have the work coming in.
• My business account is, at least in the short term, in the black.
• I am off chocolate. Don’t overlook this one. I AM OFF CHOCOLATE. I am evil-tempered and stressed out all the time, but I am off chocolate.

Unpluses

• I am soooooo tired.
• Some work is beginning to dry up a little, which is scary.
• My dad has recently been very ill – on one occasion I had to drop everything and go to the UK for five days. I wouldn’t have not gone for the world of course, but I reckon it cost me in the region of a thousand euros – two last minute flights, five days’ car hire and six days lost wages.
• When I booked the car hire on the last trip, the web site told me there was a technical problem and the credit card details hadn’t gone through, so I did the booking again, only to find out that I had managed to book two cars. This was three weeks ago, and I am still trying to get the money refunded. And the second booking made me go over my limit and so I got charged.
• I’ve had a few car problems. I’ve managed to get them fixed pretty cheaply, for which I am grateful, but the costs have still been roughly €300.
• I’ve had to have a few repairs done on the heating system in my house I am letting, and now I am to I have to get a new boiler – I am told this will cost €3000-€4000 :eek::eek::eek:. I have to get another couple of quotes, but one thing is for sure, it ain’t going to be cheap. Another thing is for sure, I don’t actually have the money. Ho, hum.
• Onepoll is no longer giving me surveys. Onepoll admin is ignoring all my emails.
• My caravan got broken into again.
• I have yet another mouth to feed. A kitten, which my rescue cat from last December had unexpectedly (to her and to me). She had just the one kitten. When he was four weeks old a bully cat got through the window and frightened mama, so stood on or whiplashed the kitten which paralysed him and so she rejected him. To cut a long story short, I bottle-fed him (those 4 a.m. feeds were NO fun), took him to work with me, cuddled him and nursed him and amazingly and much to everyone’s surprise he pulled through. I wasn’t originally going to keep him, but having been through all that he wasn’t going anywhere. So, cat number three. He’s not quite normal. His front legs are shorter than his back ones and he is a paid-up member of the John Cleese Ministry of Funny Walks, but he acts like he is fed on rocket fuel and seems generally fine. I had the mother spayed – by a butcher vet who should never be in a caring profession. Poor little moggy was quite poorly afterwards for some time, but thankfully is now well again. Another chunk of overdraft went on paying various vets’ bills.
• I have been staying with a friend for quite a while, but it looks like I might have to go back to my caravan for the winter. If it’s anything like last winter I may not have to worry about my debt come spring. Oh, well, I’ve done it before, I am sure I can do it again. No sanitation, no washing machine, water that smells of ammonia, a broken window I can’t afford to get replaced. I could of course pay rent and live in some comfort, but then it’s money I would prefer not to be paying out. No inside and flushing toilet versus not having to pay rent. Hmmmm. As a dedicated debt buster I shouldn’t be weighing up such things. As a woman of a certain age living in the developed world, I WANT A TOILET.
• Favoured friend got made redundant and may have to return to the UK. Hence my imminent move to the caravan. Somehow I feel I should have said something about missing the company, blah, blah, blah before thinking about not having a washing machine and freezing my @r$e off in my outside bucket room. Yes, I am a terrible friend. Honestly, I am a better one when I am not having to wash my hair in water smelling of cows’ pee.
• I still look like a bag lady and not eating chocolate has not had the desired side-effect of my instantly becoming eligible for Ireland’s next top model.

Plans

• To write in this diary more than once every six months. Not doing so hasn’t made me take my eye off the debt-busting ball, and I still mentally write to it regularly. But I feel I would benefit from documenting my progress or lack of. If I could only limit my reading of the site to ten-minute chunks ...
• The debts are coming down, but painfully slowly. I have my expenses down to pretty much a minimum, but I must try to find more ways of shaving a few extra pence off, and find more ways of earning extra.
• I still have stuff in an expensive store. I really have to apply myself to getting this sorted. I have been close several times to getting the stuff moved over here, but have been thwarted in my attempts. To pay someone for the moving would cost nearly £2,000, which is somewhat more than I actually have.
• [STRIKE]Be tidier. Lose bulk. Exercise more. Be nicer. Be charming. Be less grumpy. Do something interesting. Be less verbose. Stop whingeing. Support other people.[/STRIKE] Get real.

Seaxwyn

Hello Wordsmith!! How lovely to see you back! And so glad to read that you are still alive and debt-busting, though sorry to see the Unpluses outweighting the Pluses - and biggies too.

Sorry also to read about your Dad. My dad too is very ill, I fear he is accelerating along a terminal decline. Very sad.

Please do write more often, i always enjoy your updates!

poorbutrich

Wordsmith wrote: »

• [STRIKE]Be tidier. Lose bulk. Exercise more. Be nicer. Be charming. Be less grumpy. Do something interesting. Be less verbose. Stop whingeing. Support other people.[/STRIKE] Get real.

Hi Wordsmith
Lovely to see you back, and despite what you think, it seems that you have achieved lots since your last visit to MSE.

I hope your dad is well and the new moggy, and I also wanted to say that I love your instructions above! I have something similar in front of me at my desk, with the addition of "drink less, and watch less TV"!

Good luck and look forward to reading more of your wonderfully-written diary.

:A

Wordsmith

Thanks for your posts Seaxwyn and Poorbutrich. It’s nice to know there are people taking an interest. Seaxwyn, I’ve just read the last few pages of your diary – congratulations on the work! I hope it is working out OK; how's the freelancing side going? But so sorry to hear about your dad – it’s a real test of your strength, isn’t it? I hope all is going well on the wedding front PBR.

Just as I knew I would, now I have come back on the site I have spent way too long dipping into the various threads. Great, but time consuming.

I’ve had two financial quandaries over the last couple of days.

The first quandary I typed out and have now deleted. It got too long and rambly (so much so that even I noticed!) and at the end of the day my family overruled my wishes and along the way I have managed to upset them, sound ungrateful (it would take up way too much space to explain how in trying not to let them know too much about my financial situation what I meant is different from what I said which is different again from how it was interpreted – I don’t come out very well with what I’ve said there, but it would take too long to explain), end up with a gift I don’t want and not cash that I need, and give the impression that I am on a fantastic salary (how on earth did I make them think that?). The most frustrating thing is that I feel walked over and weak for letting this happen. This is immediately followed by the feeling of being an ungrateful cow because they are (in the main anyway) trying to help me, but not listening that what they think will help me is not necessarily what I think will help me. But maybe they are right and I am wrong. This is all of no interest to anyone but it helps to have a bit of a rant.

The second quandary is that in general conversation with someone who came into the shop I said that I would soon be moving from the house I am living in and she said that she had a house to let if I was interested. I went to look at it yesterday. It’s in a lovely spot overlooking the other side of the lake from where my hovel is. The house is an old cottage and very basic in its furnishings etc (but, then, I don’t need more than basic) and cheap – only €55 a week. BUT I have a caravan that, although it goes beyond basic, won’t cost me any rent. I can mentally shave €10 a week off the rent as the cottage comes with a washer and drier and as I have no means of washing at the caravan I would once a week have to drive to a nearby town (time and diesel), leave my washing to be done (costs €8 - you can’t do it yourself) and then a return journey to collect it. On the other hand, the house would cost a bit more in electricity and heating than my caravan would. On the other hand (just how many do I have?), I would feel more secure there. Oh, what to do, what to do?

elantan

hey wordsmith .... there you are been wondering where you had disappeared to ... cant tell you what to do but ... if it was me i would go for the cottage i know its money but it is security and warmth and somethings you just cant deny yourself .... including the chance of surviving another harsh winter

does the new kitty have a name ?