Taking my finger off the self-destruct button

Wordsmith

poorbutrich wrote: »

I don't know if this will make you feel better, but I needed to book a hire car for this week's work trip and have avoided Alamo as a result of your problems.

Oh, dear. I felt guilty when I first read this. But now I don't! Hope you got good car hire.

Wordsmith

It’s been a stressful few weeks with work – a bit more stress to come, but I hope only for about a week more.



Pluses

• I love my cottage ... although there are extra expenses associated with it.
• Been to visit my dad. He is in a poorly way. His short-term memory has suddenly got incredibly bad and he has trouble comprehending things. We went over and over the same conversations. He said he knew what day it was only by looking at the TV listings magazine – what I want to know is how he remembers he has turned the page to the right day! At least that has given me an idea for his Christmas present – an electronic calendar.
• New landlady looked after two of my cats while I was away, and one of the domestic goddesses from work looked after that tart of a dog and Brian. They were there for just two days but they made themselves most comfortable. Brian scratched at domestic goddess and her partner’s bedroom door and when they opened it he marched in and got into bed with them. Favoured friend took a cake (baked by domestic goddess, not me) over to landlady to say thank you for looking after cats, and mutt went too for a nose and got fed cake and sweet biscuits – she never gets the like from me. Next day favoured friend let hound out and she ran straight over the road and in through the open front door of landlady. As I said – tart!
• Alamo paid out a few more pounds. They are still not giving me the name of the director in charge of customer services, though - I must find time to phone them to get it as I am most certainly going to complain.
• Have had a bit of private teaching, so that’s bringing in a few extra euros.
• Favoured friend got a job.

Unpluses

• Favoured friend leaving the country tomorrow, because said job wasn’t here.
• Paid for flight for favoured friend because he’s broke.
• Gave an old neighbour £300. The question you may ask is why give neighbour money when I am struggling to keep enough for myself? Well ... he was a good, good neighbour; he is elderly and although I have little money I do at the moment have the means of earning some and he doesn’t. He is looking after my cats in England (now his cats) and when I lived next door to him he looked after my dog and hens and rabbits during the day, and if he hadn’t been there I wouldn’t have been able to keep the dog, so I owe him an immense amount of gratitude. He wrote to me and asked if I could help him out – he never would have done that if he hadn’t really needed to. I have helped him in the past, and hope to be able to again. He has no family except a cousin – once when his cat needed an operation he borrowed a few hundred pounds off his cousin, who suggested to him that he sold his house so that he could pay it back! :eek: So, an unplus because of the money, but a plus that I was in a position to help him out. And even though I have expenses (see below) I am still glad I did.
• Have had to agree to new boiler for house that I am letting. £2,600. Gawd, how am I ever going to find that?
• Work is stressful – I have too many deadlines and not enough time. Still, I am lucky – I do have work.

So, not too good on the money front since my last update. I’ve been looking through other people’s diaries and looking at sigs and things, and seeing people wipe thousands off their debts in a matter of months. I am feeling a tad despondent at the moment – not making much headway with debt-busting, a boiler to pay for, work not going well, wanting to be with my dad, saying goodbye my only real friend here. Still, on the bright side, I do have a loyal dog. Oh, I forgot, no loyalty there. (I once took her to the beach, walked back to my car past a stranger’s car when the driver just happened to open the door and the b1tch jumped in! If I gave her the number of the ISPCA she would be phoning them daily.)

On memory
My poor Dad’s memory is shot to pieces at the moment. I am hoping that it may have something to do with the medication he is on and that when that stops he might get a bit better. But I don’t know. I am a bit worried about my own sanity at the moment – several times recently I have turned on the car radio and then jumped out of my skin when the car starts talking to me – yes, in that millisecond between pressing the button and the radio coming to life, I have forgotten I turned it on! Then the other day I was working in the shop and had to go out to the yard, so I quickly emptied the till and hid the money in the fridge, and when I came back in and opened the till my knees buckled because I thought we had been robbed.

My plans
Snap out of melancholy, be grateful for what I have, stop letting myself be irritated by other people, and renew efforts to pay off the debts. Even the new one of the boiler. The boiler. Effing ‘ell – how am I going to pay for the boiler?

beanielou

Ooops to the boiler.
My memory is sometimes shocking so you are not alone on that front.
How lovely that you could help your old neighbour/friend.
At the end of the day if we cant help people out along the way whats it all about?

Seaxwyn

Hello Wordsmith. How wonderful that you could help your friend when he needed it. Sorry to hear about your Dad though, I hope that his memory recovers when his drugs are sorted. My dad went through periods of confusion when he was ill recently and his mind is clear as a bell now.

I deeply sympathise with the frustration of debts not going down, or even going up, while other people make steady downward progress. I had two years like that. But miraculously, this year the total has gone slowly downwards. So things can change. I'm sure your time will come. Shame about the boiler though.

Wordsmith

Well, the household is one less - now me, the tart and three cooking fats. Worked at restaurant for a few hours then took favoured friend to airport, had coffee with him and then came back to office to do some shop admin and a bit of editing on a job that is running late. Bit of spending involved - gave friend €50, paid for diesel, didn't earn as much as I could have. Nothing too major.

Had rather a wobble yesterday and ate two chocolate bars - after going so many weeks without one. Not quite sure why, but will be back on the straight and wishing-to-be-narrow again as of now. Lovely boss man gave me a bottle of wine, some cheese and a box of cheese biscuits yesterday, so maybe I'll have some of that when I go home. Although favoured friend made me a huge pan of soup, which should last me till the end of the week, so I might have that instead.

...

Got interrupted there by the phone. It was big sis to say that our father has pneumonia again - the third time in as many months. Plan is now to work like crazy to get my desk cleared by the end of the week so that I can be ready to go over at the drop of a hat. Obviously, should the need arise I would go over cleared desk or no cleared desk, but it was a warning call rather than an emergency call. But things ain't looking good.

Is there a plus to today? Well, I did make 75c on a survey. There have been better days, though.

Seaxwyn

There will be better days.... til then, fortitude is called for.

(But I would have counted the bottle of wine as a plus.)

chevalier

Hi wordsmith wow this has been some ride that you have been on in the last year. Sorry to hear it has been so rough for you.
Ref your house is there a house renovation programme in Ireland that could do it for you for free or something? Just trying to think outside the square.
I take it that you still aren't prepared to declare your debts to the debt free community, but maybe we could offer some more help to you if you did do a statement of affairs......

good luck with your debt busting. And fingers crossed for your dad
chev

Wordsmith

chevalier wrote: »

Ref your house is there a house renovation programme in Ireland that could do it for you for free or something? Just trying to think outside the square.

Thanks for the thought, but no, there isn't. Years ago there were loads of grants, but not now. I think I can still get a grant for things like solar panels, but as that is some way off (need a roof first!) I haven't applied.

chevalier wrote: »

I take it that you still aren't prepared to declare your debts to the debt free community, but maybe we could offer some more help to you if you did do a statement of affairs......

Erm ...

Wordsmith

I am surviving well on my own, but that is probably because favoured friend left me a huge pot of soup (although I have to say that although it was lovely, four days in a row eating cassoulet for supper plays havoc with the digestion ). I finished the soup last night and so am entering the dodgy realms of cooking for myself. I can cook – in fact, I used to cook quite a lot, but favoured friend is a chef and so used to take over the kitchen, with no argument from me. The thing with chefs, though, is that even the most basic of meals they have to make 'cheffie', which in my experience means not particularly balanced. I used to annoy him when he asked what I fancied for supper, because I would inevitably ask for cabbage.

Mutt is also missing favoured friend, because he had more time than I do to take her for walks. She has to come to work with me now, which is great first thing because she gets petted and given naughty treats (which I never give her) when she first comes in, and then she has to sit in the office with boring old me. Although she does get to sleep all day on a blanket in front of a gas fire. So we spend the day being resentful of each other.

We have so far missed most of the snow that the rest of the country is suffering with. It is forecast here for today, though. But it has been bitterly cold. My water pipes froze yesterday, which would be a nuisance at any time but was particularly bad (for anyone I meet) as it was hair-washing day. And unfortunately the day before was fringe-cutting day – I just cannot get the hang of that, but at least when I wash my hair I can fluff up the fringe so that it is not so obviously wonky. Dirty hair and mad home-cut fringe does not make a particularly pleasant sight. When the snow comes, I don’t know that I am going to be able to drive up my lane – which has three short but steep hills. Landlady’s husband has a jeep and has said that he will give me a lift. Once I am here, I can stay if the weather is too bad.

Dad started making a good recovery the day after he was so ill, but has gone downhill again. So we are just taking it day by day.

Pluses

• Did some private teaching and made €20.
• Have a bottle of wine (thanks, Seaxwyn, for pointing out that was a plus – and now it is a double plus because I haven’t drunk it yet).
• Had an enquiry from a new client.
• Big sis suggested we set a small budget for Christmas presents for each other this year, and stick to it. Hurrah.
• Paid a few bits off credit cards and loans, but still woefully small amounts.

Unpluses

• €20 on a birthday present. Not that I begrudge the money as it’s for a lovely lady I work with. It’s a bit more than we would normally spend, but it’s her 50th and she’s had some very rough times lately. We've bought a voucher for Irish Seedsavers, so she can go on a course or buy some plants, which are her passion.
• Boiler was due to go in yesterday. I haven’t contacted anyone to check all was OK, in the hope that they might forget about me and not send the invoice.
• Santa day at the shop on Sunday. :eek:

The hound and two of the cats have been piling on the bed at night to try to keep warm. It keeps me warm too, which is nice, but the one-eyed cat has taken to wrapping himself around my head (think Davy Crockett hat) and then kneading the top of it to get comfortable. This pulls my hair so I squirm about to free it, which makes him start all over again. When he’s finally happy, he rests his head on my ear and starts purring. Brian gets under the duvet, and the dog curls up against my back. All very cosy, but very difficult for getting up again as I dislodge them all, which causes much grumpiness. The girl cat is more aloof and goes off to sleep in her box, although I think this is mainly to get away from her son, who is a bit Kevin-like at the moment. Girl cat has come for a walk with me and mutt the last couple of mornings.

Wordsmith

Well, we survived Santa. A couple of sweet kids wrote in their letters that they wanted presents to go "to the poor people". One very helpful child gave Santa the Argos catalogue codes for the presents she wanted! Santa's trousers fell down, but fortunately not until after all the kids had gone.

The good news is that my water has come back on after the freeze. The bad news is that it doesn't seem to be heating up properly.

Both the dog and I fell over on the ice. I crawled home over icy roads last night, congratulated myself on getting home without incident, and then reversed into a brick pillar and smashed my bumper. Dog was most unimpressed.

I am two suppers into fending for myself. The first one was beans on toast and the second was cheese on toast. I have a feeling that I may need to put a bit more effort into this fending for myself lark.