Taking my finger off the self-destruct button

Wordsmith

Thanks, Elantan. I am tempted by the cottage. It's just the money ... Isn't it always?

Kitten is called Brian (Brian the Fearless - Not!). He's adorable and often comes to work with me, along with the dog. They stay in the office where I hand out the pensions and lots of the villagers have been following his progress. The dog has been slightly less impressed by it all, but she just sighs and rolls her eyes.

elantan

money the curse of all evil lol ....how many bedrooms does it have? could you maybe house share bills etc being halfed down the middle ? not sure if it is an option or even what you want but if it is an option maybe worth thinking about...

i was thinking maybe brian from the life of brian .... he is kinda lucky to be alive ... would love to see a picture

Wordsmith

The cottage isn't very suitable for sharing. (I think I am not very suitable for sharing.) It has three bedrooms ... sort of. To get to the attic room you have to go through one of the downstairs bedrooms, and both downstairs bedrooms are off the main living room/kitchen, as is the bathroom. It's a very odd layout, but not unusual for a traditional Irish cottage. Without wishing to sound too diva-ish, I think I would prefer to live on my own at the hovel and risk not surviving the ravages of winter and mad axe murderers than live with someone else within the walls of a proper house. I am going to miss favoured friend when he leaves, but, oh, how I am looking forward to having a house to myself along with the mutt and the moggies. There I go again ... how ungrateful am I?

elantan

Wordsmith wrote: »

The cottage isn't very suitable for sharing. (I think I am not very suitable for sharing.) It has three bedrooms ... sort of. To get to the attic room you have to go through one of the downstairs bedrooms, and both downstairs bedrooms are off the main living room/kitchen, as is the bathroom. It's a very odd layout, but not unusual for a traditional Irish cottage. Without wishing to sound too diva-ish, I think I would prefer to live on my own at the hovel and risk not surviving the ravages of winter and mad axe murderers than live with someone else within the walls of a proper house. I am going to miss favoured friend when he leaves, but, oh, how I am looking forward to having a house to myself along with the mutt and the moggies. There I go again ... how ungrateful am I?

not ungrateful at all ... but very honest .... and there arnt enough honest people around .... i take my hat off to you ... dont think i would like to share eitherit isnt the easy enjoyable option at all ... but it is one option i am currently having to face myself...

is there anyway you can up your income by even say half of what it would cost ? so that it wont be as painful if/when you move into the cottage

Wordsmith

Still not quite decided about renting cottage but I am definitely veering in that direction. I wish it was clear-cut. That’s €200 that I could put towards my debt each month since I have got somewhere I could live rent free. But it would provide some comfort that I certainly wouldn’t get in the caravan.

Elantan, I am working all the hours I can already, so doing more to pay the rent isn’t really an option ... although if favoured friend isn’t around I can do something extra at home at night – work on one of my many projects I have floating around in my mind but which I never have time to do, perhaps.

I think I could do with a day off – a proper thinking-only-of-myself day off. Apart from visits to see my dad (much treasured and not working, but still not particularly restful), I have had only one day off this year, back in April. Favoured friend wanted to go to a coastal town in Cork to look at some business premises. On the spur of the moment I decided to go too, and also on the spur of the moment I foolishly said I would drive. This was our day:
Filled car with diesel (he paid, so that was OK).
Drove for four and half hours (not particularly fun, but it was through lovely countryside in the main).
Got to destination and enjoyed the view of the harbour (lovely weather and very pleasant).
Had lunch in a pub (was looking forward to this treat, but ended up with two bits of white toast with a bit of cheese slapped in between them; and I couldn’t have a Guinness because I was driving; ah, well, I didn’t have to pay).
Spent forty-five minutes trailing favoured friend while he spoke business stuff.
Went onto cliffs for a day-off kind of walk. Bit of a worry as trusty mutt is not very sure-footed. Neither, it seems, am I. Stepped into wet, muddy puddle and nearly fell over – managed not to by flailing arms about madly, causing hound to run off in fright and favoured friend to guffaw with abandon. Stayed upright for about three seconds but in trying to step out of said puddle overbalanced again and with no time to wave arms insanely to save myself went right down on my bum with legs stuck out in front of me like a three-year-old. Then found that slippy slidey puddles are difficult to find your way out of, even when using arms and feet. Dog found it all very exciting and favoured friend disappeared. I suspect I may have laughed too if I had come across the sight of a rotund, middle-aged lady mud wrestling by herself on top of the cliffs. However, being that rotund, middle-aged lady mud wrestling by herself on top of the cliffs caused a severe sense of humour malfunction.
Got back to the car and decided there was no way I was going to sit in it in a wet muddy skirt and cardigan, so stripped to knickers and T-shirt and drove for four and a half hours home again (apologies to truck driver to who pulled up beside us at the traffic lights in Cork) to occasional and unwise sniggers coming from the passenger seat.
Of course, I needed to stop for a pee on the way home. There are only three bits of me that are small – and they are the three bits you want to be big: my bladder, my chest and my eyes (little piggy eyes an old boyfriend used to call them, although I have to say it was with some affection - even so, I don't see him any more). So I pulled up at a service station, contemplated and dismissed putting back on my skirt, so I had a root about the car and came up with my too-big, cover me from head to toe, taking the dog for a walk in a hailstorm raincoat. On another occasion I could perhaps have got away with this, but this was the hottest day of the year so far and I didn’t blend into the crowd too well when I queued up for sustenance and everyone else was in T-shirts and shorts waiting for ice-cream and I was in my flasher mac holding a banana, with favoured friend several people away in the queue pretending he didn't know me.
Carried on home, most disgruntled that I had missed out on dinner (I didn’t dismiss going into a restaurant in my mac, but for some reason favoured friend didn’t like the look of any of the places we passed). Got to home town and stopped for a bottle of wine at the local garage – I decided to stay in the car as even I can see the sense of not flashing on your home turf.

Enough time has passed since this trauma that I think I can safely try another day off, although I still fear that this was the universe’s way of punishing me for daring to have a day without working.

Anyway, I have been getting a tightening in my chest recently (not pain, just a tightening) and it’s reminded me that it can be useful to take a bit of time to recharge the batteries occasionally.

I have been in the shop all weekend. Paddy hasn't been in yet today, but he did call round last night just after I had closed up - he wanted a lesson on how to use his tin opener. He'd brought the opener with him, together with a tin with a pull ring. When I pointed this out, he said that he knew it had a pull ring but he had a tin at home that didn't and he wanted to know how to use the opener in case he needed to open the other tin.

Wordsmith

Since my last post:


Pluses:

• Paid regular payment to friend.
• Got a huge bouquet of flowers from a publisher to say thank you for the work on a job that had turned out to be pretty stressful for all of us. I've put them in the shop and they look very cheery. Got asked how much they were to buy. I was tempted ...
• Got a small cheque paying an invoice.
• Sent out a big invoice - will be about five weeks before it's paid.
• Dad now home from hospital (but still quite poorly).

Unpluses:

• Haven't come up with a way of paying £4,000-ish :eek: for new boiler. This is so massive, I haven't allowed it to penetrate my consciousness properly. What in God's name am I going to do about this???
• Paid over €50 for some bits for my car. From a scrapper so they were cheaper than they might otherwise be, but still.
• Owe the electrician €60 for putting up a security light for me. Cheap for what he did, I think, and it gives me some sense of comfort, so I'd say it is money well spent.
• Still haven't got money back for car hire. Sent them a rude email on Friday, but they haven't given me my money back or bothered to reply to the email.

elantan

Incase you have said and I may have forgot .... Did u by any chance pay by visa ? Can u claim that way ... Can the bank do anything ?

Wordsmith

Did pay for car hire by Visa. Rental company (if not heard by Wednesday will name and shame) said on the phone that they would pay it back, but that it could take 10 days (funny that they can accidentally take it in minutes but it takes over three weeks to give it back) - this was after it went to another department to check that it was a valid claim. However, thanks for that - I had forgotten you can get Visa involved if necessary. I'll give it until Wednesday and if no joy will go on the attack.

Wordsmith

I have decided to take the cottage. I feel a bit of a failure for doing this – am I committed to saving money, or am I not? On the plus side, I think I will feel safer, it is much more convenient than the caravan and it will be better for the cats. And it has a flushing toilet.

I have been reflecting on how slowly the debt has been going down, but then remembered that this time last year, even six months ago, I was operating on a €3000 overdraft on my business account and now I have a couple of grand in it. I hadn’t been including this overdraft in my total for debts (they are high enough as it is, without adding more), but since I can’t separate the business expenses from my own expenses (after all, I am the business), the fact that I am no longer using the overdraft is quite an achievement for me and a step towards getting the overall debt down. Unfortunately I can’t use the money going “spare” in this account as I have two big tax bills coming in the next month – I don’t know yet how much they will be (I should know, but I don’t), but this amount and more will have to go to paying them.

Update:


Pluses

• One of my invoices out was paid yesterday - in cash, so I can't get it into the bank for a few days.

Unpluses

• Boiler bill looming over me and still no way of paying it ... not that it is preying on my mind or anything.
• I am finding it very hard to get down to work. I am definitely going to aim for having a day off in the next couple of weeks – I am sure I will work much more effectively for the break.
• Favoured friend not found a job. (Nor has he signed on yet. Best not to mention it again for fear of getting my head bitten off ... again.)
• Car hire company still not paid up. Gits.

I have a new editing job in today. When I get stuck into a job I am fine, but I always have a crisis of confidence at the beginning of a job and procrastinate terribly before buckling down. I will get on with it now. Well, maybe I’ll have a cup of tea first ...

poorbutrich

Wordsmith wrote: »

I have decided to take the cottage. I feel a bit of a failure for doing this – am I committed to saving money, or am I not? On the plus side, I think I will feel safer, it is much more convenient than the caravan and it will be better for the cats. And it has a flushing toilet.
...

Dear Wordsmith
Congratulations on the cottage! I can't believe you think you're a failure for treating yourself to what most people would consider a necessity - a roof over your head (a non-tin one)!!

Let us know when the house-warming is (virtual or otherwise!) You really should give yourself some credit for the strides you've made - as you say yourself, going from a substantial overdraft to a healthy bank balance isn't something most of us could achieve in a few months - and you've not had the best of luck this year.

Make yourself a cup of tea (Barry's!), put your feet up and tell yourself how amazing you are!