Taking my finger off the self-destruct button

Horace

Hello Wordsmith

I came across your diary whilst looking for something else and have sat here transfixed at your tales about stolen body parts (that's how I feel as inside I am slim and outwardly I am fat and older:rolleyes:) and Paddy.

I am sorry to hear that your mum passed away - you have my condolences. Take care of yourself

xx

Wordsmith

Thank you so much to you all for your messages. Before I get back to proper debt-busting diarying I hope you'll forgive me for recording Mum's day yesterday.

My Dad felt too unwell to attend the cremation. It was a very quiet affair, but several people drove from quite a long way away - including an ex boyfriend of mine, his father, and a very good friend who I was supposed to be going on holiday with today - to be there, which was very touching. My sister is creating a heritage book for the family, and she "interviewed" Mum last year to write her story, so the celebrant at the funeral read that out - it was unpolished and so sounded just as Mum had said it, which really gave an insight into her life. Everyone afterwards said how lovely it was - I know people are likely to say that out of politeness, but I think they all meant it. The celebrant is going to send us a copy of the whole service so that we can give it to my Dad and my Mum's sister (who was also too unwell to attend) so that they can read it in private.

Afterwards we went back to my Dad's nursing home, where we were able to use one of the residents' sitting rooms for a buffet that the home's cook did for us - she did a fantastic job and had obviously put a lot of time into it - it was better than we could have got at a hotel. We didn't have to pay anything, but were told that if we wished we could donate to the activities fund - we did, of course.

My parents were adamant (even wrote into their wills) that nobody was to buy flowers as they couldn't bear to think of the waste. Instead we chose a charity people could donate to if they wished, and sis and I persuaded my father to let us put one (non-funereal) arrangement on the coffin, which we then took back to the nursing home for everyone to enjoy. We left on the coffin a single yellow rose, Mum's favourite flower.

Sis and I had independently looked at poems to include in the service, and when we pooled ideas we had both chosen the same one. It was this:

To the living, I am gone
To the sorrowful, I will never return
To the angry, I was cheated
But to the happy, I am at peace
And to the faithful, I have never left
I cannot speak, but I can listen
I cannot be seen, but I can be heard
So as you stand upon the shore
Gazing at the beautiful sea, remember me
As you look in awe at a mighty forest
And its grand majesty, remember me
Remember me in your hearts,
In your thoughts, and the memories of the
Times we loved, the times we cried, the
Battle we fought and the times we laughed
For if you always think of me, I will
Have never gone.
Anon

hypno06

Beautiful x

turfy6

That was beautiful, condolences to you all.

elantan

beautiful words wordsmith

Seaxwyn

That sounds like a good day and what a beautiful poem. How is your dad coping with the bereavement?

kissjenn

Wonderful poem...and well done to the home for seeing your mum off in such style. My deepest condolences.

Seaxwyn

HI Wordsmith, I just wondered how you are doing? And how is your dad? I hope you are all bearing up OK after your bereavement. Pop on sometime just to let us know how you are.

Horace

Hi Wordsmith - I was just wondering how you and your family are doing? We were just wondering about you over on the Self Employed thread on DFW which you will be surprised to hear is still going strong.

Take care.
Love Horace x

elantan

have to admit i have been wondering how you are also ...are you ok? how is your dad?