Taking my finger off the self-destruct button

Wordsmith

Thank you everyone for posting. Startagain, we must let our dogs swap telephone numbers so they can have a good b1tch about us!

Horace, lovely to hear from you. I’m glad your business is going well and that you had the good sense to move from less lucrative business to better paying stuff; that takes courage – a lot of people would stick blindly to their original plan. I would have loved to have heard your reply when your accountant said you were a low priority client! And well done on ditching the “nasty, evil little man”. I know what you mean by having to have the strength to deal with people. I have a “toxic friend” who phones me to tell me how awful his ex is and what a terrible life he is having and just generally gives me an ear-bashing, so although I feel duty bound to ring him back when I get a message from him (funny how I’m never available to answer when he rings me ) I have to prepare mentally for it.

Wordsmith

I am back now from visiting my dad. He was apparently fairly well earlier in the week but he was quite poorly while I was there. Mainly I just sat with him as he wasn’t very talkative. I also nearly finished him off with my birthday present to him. I couldn’t think what to get him, so I bought a bottle of Irish Mist at the airport since he likes whiskey (but only in coffee – bleurgh) and he likes sweet sherry (bleurgh) so I thought maybe he’d like Irish Mist. I can’t stand it but my sister likes it, so I thought that if he didn’t, she could have it. He wanted to try it straight away, but it was a bit stronger than he is used to and it took his breath away – not good when he uses a nebuliser three times a day and has an oxygen tank in his room in case he needs it. :eek:

My heart was wrenched out when I said my last goodbye. Always, always, always he turns his wheelchair and watches me leave and waves goodbye. This time, I looked back and he was still facing the other way. I took this image all the way back to the airport and beyond.

I managed to get the car on my credit card, which was fortunate because my plan B was rubbish. I know it has taken me over my limit and I will get charged. I also managed to pay on credit for the petrol to fill the tank – which was a relief because I didn’t think of that until I pulled into the forecourt and realised I had only euros on me. I had a plan B for that too, but that was rather hastily concocted and I'm glad I didn't have to put it to the test.

I spent a bit more than I intended. Mainly on food – pretty amazing since I was there for just two days. Food shops in rural Ireland tend to be functional and not very enticing, and when I walk into a UK supermarket my sensible self seems to be captured by those metal railing things you have to walk through and waits for me to collect it again on the way out.

I picked up the harlot on my way home. When she managed to force herself off my friend's sofa (after too long a pause after I walked through the door) she was gratifyingly welcoming. When we left she followed me out the door and then realised she was supposed to be coming with me rather than waving me goodbye and she turned round and went back inside.

At home, I found that my old boy – the one-eyed, Davy-Crockett-hat-wannabe – had not been seen since the previous evening. He is very much a home-bird and generally doesn’t venture far or for long. I went out looking for him, as did my landlady, her sister and her husband, but there was no sign. I went out again later and again this morning and still haven’t seen hide nor hair of him. He’s now missed three meals. I’m at work now (erm, just taking a coffee break ) and won’t be home till late this evening. I’ll see if I can cadge an hour off to go back this afternoon to have another look for him. My landlady’s husband has promised to search the neighbouring barns in the meantime. This is so unusual for ol’ one-eye that I am fearing the worst.

My proofreading job never turned up, which was great because it meant I didn’t have to take it away with me. It is sitting in my inbox now, though, so I have a busy weekend ahead as I am working in the shop both Saturday and Sunday.

beanielou

What a horrid image to have in your head of your dad.
Hope ol one eye turns up.

Wordsmith

Just spent over an hour looking for errant moggy. Brian and mama cat helped, but we didn't find him. My landlady's husband has been looking in the barns and alerting the neighbours so we have lots of people on the lookout. To make matters worse, I was driving home when the people who gave him to me rang from their home in Germany - the first time I had spoken to them for four months - to ask how he was. What timing! I suppose the upside is that I didn't find him squashed on the side of the road, so I still have some hope that he has wandered into a building and got shut in.

Seaxwyn

Oh no, what a worry - and particularly stressful after seeing your dad so low. Hope the puss cat turns up, and hope you have a festive New Year, despite all the work.

Radish72

Happy New Year

Hopefully the cat is out partying with his chums and comes home soon

And don't dwell to much on you dad not looking round when you said goodbye, remember the hello and the middle

ani_26

I'm still following your diary Wordsmith.

A happy and peaceful new year to you.


Nohope x

Wordsmith

Thank you, everyone! A very happy New Year to you all and here’s hoping 2011 will bring you peace and good health ... and a goodly bit of debt busting.

My new year has not started particularly happily as my old boy still has not returned. I was out looking again last night, but that was only to make myself feel as though I hadn’t abandoned him as it was pitch black out there and if he was within the distance I was walking he would have come home on his own anyway. I had half an hour of half light this morning so I (along with the dog and the other two cats) did another search (I searched, the dog chased rabbitty smells, mama cat growled at her son because she can’t stand him, and kitty cat pounced on imagined furry beasties). I am at work now and won’t get back while it is still light, so in the meantime I can only hope and pray. I didn’t go partying last night, but that’s fine by me as I’m not very good at partying, I don’t really like New Year’s eve and I had to be in bed early to get up for work.*

I don’t really make New Year resolutions as I think that if there are things to change in my life I should resolve to do them at whatever time I get to the point that I get that particular LBM. However, I feel at a bit of a slump time at the moment so it is a good time to take stock and prepare for change. Fresh year, fresh start, and all that. And if I promise to eat my greens, do you think my boy will be sent back to me?

Over the next few days I will give some thought to the changes that need to be made and how I am going to go about them. I doubt there will be anything new, but my methods could certainly do with a bit of enlivening.

*On reading the above, I really think that I should resolve to do some sort of sociable activity – it might make me a little less grouchy!

startagain_2

Hi Wordsmith,

I hope the old boy makes it home soon. As for the New Year celebrating, I am glad someone else doesn't feel particularly sociable. I too am undertaking to get some sort of social life this year - even if only on a very small scale. Although I am perfectly happy on my own most of the time, I find my dog very limited in conversation at times!

Best of luck

SA

chevalier

hi wordsmith
so sorry to hear about your old boy. i guess no one wouldn't have taken him in thinking he was a stray? cos everyone would know you and your cat?

Sorry to hear about your dad. I don't get on with mine to well, we are 'cordial', so it is nice to hear that some people do have a nice relationship with their dad. What a pity you are so far away from him.

And still a gentle nag about a SOA :D

Best wishes for 2011. I think you have a business idea on the tip of your brain, and I am sure it will get into your conscious mind this coming year
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