hello help needed

Sunny_Bear

hes probably been dreading telling you, its spiralled out of control and thats made it even harder for him to tell you, nightmare.

Do you want to give us an idea of the situation?

sieve

money_penny_26 wrote: »

yes sieve he has been honest tonite but i said to him he should have been honest at christmas.when he let me go out an spend money on pressys.i thought he was a bit of a misery at that time

Well to be honest that's in the past and what's done is done - I know I am guilty of keeping things like this from people I've loved with all my heart in the past - it doesn't reflect on your marriage at all that he didn't tell you at xmas (when he wouldn't have wanted to disappoint you) - the main thing is that now you know and can work together to sort the money issues out.

And we can help you both with that when you're ready, so don't disappear after tonight, it's always nice to see a good conclusion to a shock scenario - and that will be you before too long, I've no doubt.

money_penny_26

i am disabled an he looks after me.we gave up our house to come to a sheltered bungalow.but we never been as bad with money he says.i feel funny telling you all this...we had 20000 left from sale of house but we did not claim any benefits only my d.l.a.untill it was proved we had spent it on living.then we could claim,hubby reckons thats the cause ,,i cant see that then again cos im disabled an cant run finances,an go to bank he takes care of all finances.he always has done.an now this.i said to him how can we be in this mess when we been married that long,i dont understand most folk when young are skint it was in our day in70s anyway.but not at our age, he says cost of living.i asked him if he had a car or something hidden from me, an he said no just got out of control more credit which at first he could afford.an now cant....still dont know how he hid it is this normal.to have debt about 30000 some in my name,oh god wat shall i do

gettingbetter

hun

its very easy to hide
i hid everything untill it
got so far and we were
declared bankrupt before i came clean

kas xx

money_penny_26

getting better...you said we is that you an your partner then,i dont know if you are a man or woman sorry im not been rude.did you do it together both go bankrupt thats what my hubby been to see someone today,an they said to tell me,has most debt in my name,i did know about it but he said at time we could afford it.

Sunny_Bear

right so its 30,000. do you live solely on the benefits? Is any of it in arrears or is he keeping up with the min payments?

I think when your h comes in you should give him a big hug and tell him you will sort this out together but that he mustn't hold anything from you ever again.

Maybe a trip to the citizens advice bureux would be a good start or a call to the cccs, a charity that helps and can give you lots of advice. Im not sure of the number but im sure someone will post it for you.

money_penny_26

he feels guilty that he is going to put me through bankruptcy.ohh the shame.i dont think i can go through it.all the months ahead an worry when i thought we had a perfect life...in tears again sorry.....he not come back yet not taken his mobile

Sunny_Bear

BR isnt as bad as you first think, to be honest, i always said no way, that people would think bad of me, but its the best thing Ive ever done, it saved my marriage.
Noone needs to know but you and your h if you choose not to tell them.

Maybe tomorrow once youve both calmed down you could sit and write a list of what and to who he/you owes? that would be a good starting point.

money_penny_26

how will i get through it.i cant bring myself to talk to him.i will but i will never sleep tonite. i feel like im ramting on an i dont even know you all.how strange complete strangers are listening to me,i am usually a closed book

money_penny_26

sunny bear yes we do live on benefits an have done for 5 years now when i became ill an we had to sell the house